Neighbour turned friends with benefits turned official, 3 months together then text message dumped?

I moved into my new apartment with my son in June, met this guy at the playground in our area with his son a week or so later. He introduced himself, we found out we lived across the street from each other. There was definitely mutual attraction. We would continue to casually bump into each other at the playground and chat, then I found out he puffed, I did too so we made plans to smoke one together on a kid free night Anyway this went on for a few weeks then he brought up coming to his place to watch Netflix, I knew what that meant. I didn't go for it the first few times but gave in early in July. Soon after, he started referring to himself as the man in my life, asked us to be exclusive, started sending cute texts etc We talked and both said we didn't really want a relationship, but we wanted to keep seeing each other. I was trying to keep my walls up but he was really sweet and charming. Anyway since we were so close we were seeing each other several times a week. Not just at night, our kids were close to the same age and got along, it was fun, things were clicking. It started feeling like a relationship and that really scared me but I was starting to fall for this guy. He was so loving, calling me pet names all the time, kissing me in front of his friends, telling me how beautiful I was, he told me he was starting to have feelings for me but that he wouldn't say he loved me until the time was right. Ok, maybe he is as into me as I thought, I told him I kinda had feelings for him too. Things kept on going well, then I ended up getting stuck for a sitter after school, he offered to do it. So things were still going well, then I decided maybe this was all too much and maybe we should back off for a bit. He told me he would wait for me if I walked away, So I decided to stick around. A few days later he asked me to be his girlfriend, 10 days after that he dumped me in a text at 1:30 in the morning. This was all over 3 months. WTF?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe he was just playing games. Some guys will tell a girl anything she wants to hear just to have sex and get laid. Another possibility he was a player. Another possibility is maybe he wasn't ready to fully commit and it overwhelmed him. What he did was still messed up and very wrong. Even the way he broked up was very wrong and messed up and dirty.

    • Yes I think the commitment scared him, but I never asked him for anything. It was all me following his lead. I know it takes two, but I didn't let my guard down until he asked me to be his girlfriend. Ugh this is my first dating experience in 10 years and it's more confusing than I thought it would be!

    • Yes dating is confusing and complicated. Don't let it get you down what happen. Just be careful the next guy you date. Even if commitment scared him it still didn't give him the right to leave how he did. Its good you didn't ask him for nothing and just followed his lead. If he tries to come back to you would you take him back?

What Girls Said 1

  • "It started to feel like a relationship and that really Scared... Him.
    It's as Plain as the Nose on your face, Jane. He grew Cold Duck feet, it has Nothing to do with his own "Dick" getting cold. I am Not seeing the Sure Signs of him using you. He just Ran back into these Murky Male waters, like many Toms do Today. And some even play Head and Heart games.
    It could become a Problem Pattern so watch out that you don't Enable him to Come back and forth, and Around like a Merry Go Round here, dear.
    Whatever you do, Stand your ground.
    Good luck.

    • I just don't get it, I gave him the chance to walk away and he told me he would wait for me, then asked me to be his girlfriend. And it did scare me, I am just over a year out of a 10 year relationship with the father of my child. But you are probably right, things moved quickly and he probably freaked out, but he didn't have to lead me on like that. I'm not heartbroken or anything, it was fun, now it's done.

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    • Lol thanks!!

    • lol Thank u for the Like and the quack. xxoo

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