Girls, what makes a guy "inaccessible"?

So, here is my thing.

I was never a very popular guy among girls. Somehow I grew up with very low self esteem and low confidence, stuff that I always tried hard to hide, but some things you just can't fake that much. And that was kind of strange for someone that is 6ยด5 and athletic. But I always had a very poor picture of myself.

I had a couple of girlfriends, that I worked really hard to get and that's it. Being shy with girls, not that much with guys, I would rarely meet a girl, even less have romantic interactions.

Recently I met a girl who was my college mate that I had a huge crush on. She is gorgeous, and guess what, I had never had a chat with her before. We talked a lot and we exchanged numbers, and one of the first things she said was that she was surprised to see how great I was because I always seemed so "inaccessible", and that all the girls would talk about my "inaccessibility".

We are seeing each other know and having a great time together. But I still have this in my mind. How can she perceive me as inaccessible and not as simply shy or bad at stuff?

Or more generically, what makes a guy seem inaccessible to girls?

And how can I change that?


(Sorry for any grammatical mistakes)


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What Girls Said 3

  • "Inaccessibility" literally means "unable to be reached", which I feel applies directly to your situation. Someone who can't be reached is someone who is closed off from conversations, friendships, emotional advancements, etc. someone inaccessible, to me, would signify someone who lacks (or simply hides) emotion, avoids overly social situations and keeps to themselves.

  • I'd assume body language that says he isn't interested in talking to anyone. Shy people seem happy you made a social gesture, while others don't seem receptive to smiles and such.

  • Indifference or aloofness, although this applies for both genders.

    • I am very indifferent & aloof and people don't really mind that much. Only sensitive people do

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