What did he actually mean? Is there a way to get a guy to text back or save the friendship?

There is guy I like and he has said texting really isn't his thing. I've had to adjust to it bc I am use to texting a lot. I would text him just a couple times each day to let him know I was thinking about him or ask a question. He would respond after a day or so to something but he barely would text back.
He knows I like him and am interested in him. But recently things got a little more odd as we were suppose to meet up, on the fly as our schedules are hectic, and he said "Sorry Hun I went home. I don't want to just use you for sex. I want to be friends."
what does that mean? Does it mean just friends or he wants to build a friendship? I asked to see him to talk more and he goes "yeah we will hang out soon." But we haven't arranged anything.
I then proceeded to just text him a small thing clarifying my side and since then he hasn't texted me.
My side was just that I wanted to build our friendship and Hang out when we can but that I am attracted to him and that if I'm comfortable I am a highly sexual person.
thought he would be relieved. He seemed very interested in me as even after I left the job we met at he would hang out and see me. But now it seems impossible.
what do you guys think? Is there anyway to save it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just use texts more sparingly. My crush is the same way with texts. Only a few times have I gotten her to talk for an hour or two back and forth. When were making group plans her sister talks not her. Talk to him in person a text is not really something to use in order to talk. Try calling him or video chatting with him.

    It sounds like he wants to be your best freind. Like in a marrage they are each other's "best freinds". He wants to know you before he fucks you. He wants to see all of your personality and quirks first. Build it with him go slow and save sex for when he is ready.

    Give him some space to think and work it out. Then meet up with him and be his friend.

    I have to be a woman's freind and know her for a while before I even want to date her. Sometimes before I'm even attracted to her I need to know her as a freind.
    Stick with him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He was letting you down nicely.
    You need to stop being clingy and move on.
    'I don't want to use you for sex' -I'm not interested in taking this further with you I don't see us being a couple. So I don't want to continue seeing you for meaningless sex. He said I don't want to use you. Why would he feel he's using you if you guys have mutual interest? It means he lost interest.
    'Let's be friends' -telling you it's not going to be happeninf between you two. He's just trying to be nice.

    I'm not a big texter and when a guy constantly sends me messages, I would ignore some. However, if I want to reply, I reply within 12hrs. I never reply 1 day after. The same goes with guys that are interested in you. The fact he was replying back next day indicates another sign that he's letting you down nicely.
    He probably was interested in you in the beginning. But something went wrong now he lost interest.
    And I'm telling you you never text a guy, especially a bad texter, multiple times through out the day like that. I know this because I am a bad texter. When a guy texts me multiple times a day, try to keep the conversation going throughout the day it's a turn off. It seems like he has nothing to do but text. And I have my shit to do and it kinda bothers me. I know you were just being a sweetheart trying to let him know he's loved, special. But you can show him that when you see him in person. He clearly told you that he hates texting yet you continued texting him. He probably didn't like it and felt pressured.
    You want to save it, you do nothing.
    Just leave him alone give him some space. Give him a space to miss you and wonder about you.
    And few days-a week after he hasn't reached out to you, it means you two not meant for each other.
    Or you could try reaching out to him again a week later.
    But remember to not over text him!
    He still doesn't reply you back within 24 hrs he's not interested. You should move on.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He thought you hook up was only for sex, which might have been your intention, and he got cold feet, because he likes you and does want to screw it up. However, a guy giving up sex can seem strange and he might be feeling that now.


What Girls Said 4

  • Have you tried email? It sending texts more like email. Where you can really discussion a topic over days rather than the "hey, hi, how's it going" texts? If that's a no go then maybe talking on the phone or just meeting up in person might get better results. A friend if mine is horrible at texting, so we talk on the phone (or skype) every week or two.

  • Sounds like he's being honest and he doesn't see a relationship with you. Like he's attracted but he doesn't want you to be his girlfriend or something. I don't think it's so much that he doesn't want to see you, but that he feels it would be leading you on and, in his mind, that's wrong.

    Count your blessings. Most guys don't tell women when they are using them for sex. You should respect his honesty.

  • He is not interested. Move on. Delete his contact. All that nonsense are excuses to let you down to tell you to get lost. Cry and wake up the next day, and smile on the next guy.
    He has a gf/wife/ other girls that he is interested in texting/communicating with. Not you. You are wasting your time on this guy. Thats how relationship works. Doesn't say you or him is a bad person. He is no longer interested.
    He gave you enough hints. Don't give him free sex. If he is with a girl and you letting him know he can have free sex, you are inviting him to cheat. and he is not interested in cheating on a girl he is interested in. at the moment. guys will get free sex. so you have to keep your legs close until the guy can prove to you that he is good enough to be your boyfriend.
    When a guy/girl is interested, there is no such thing as a bad texter. Guys will jump over hoops, and do anything to reach out to you when they like you.
    My ex. had a very very very busy job. He text me first thing in the morning. text me when he makes his coffee, text me when he walks out the door, text me when walking to his office. Text me when he was on a little break.
    So there is no such thing as too busy to text or not a good texter.
    My boyfriend is not into talking over the phone. He calls me as much as he can at lease 2 times and stay on the phone with me over an hour ea. time...
    There you go...
    Move on, make room for guys who will be "not too busy" to text/call you.

  • He's got a girlfriend duh lol