Dating a guy who doesn't acknowledge me on social media, should I just let it go?

I started dating a guy for about 2 months now. We've really been hitting it off and he's honestly a great guy. Just one issue...
He's a musician and he posts a lot about his life online. Since dating, I've been attending his gigs out-of-state and in-state and he'd take photos with others, put them online and refuses to take a photo of the two of us. It's almost like he doesn't want anybody to know that we're dating. I've been taking his photos regularly at his gigs with my camera and he's been posting them online and only tagging his other friends who attended the event and never me. Also, when his friends take photos of him he always puts a courtesy at the bottom letting them know that they've been taking his photos. I feel very undervalued and kind of used. I do nice things for him always and I don't really get anything for it... I know I sound silly in a sense because social media really shouldn't define where this is going but maybe I'm overextending myself?
When he was upset with me once, he posted a status about being hurt and confused once but nobody knew why of course... it's like he wants to be for sure that I'm in it for good but in the process wants perks out of it like support, photos and sex. I'm still patiently waiting for him to officially ask me out and me not having to say that I'm his girlfriend just to get into his gigs when I'm not officially... should I let the social media thing go? I actually posted a few things about him but on a friendly note.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You go on trips out-of-state with him and you are having sex but you are concerned about him "officially asking you out." That seems rather silly.

    His behavior suggests that he really doesn't want others to know that you two are dating. Maybe there is someone else out there who is also wondering why he doesn't mention her on his social media. Beware!

    • He only refers to me as his girlfriend at his gigs. I didn't get the whole "will you be my girlfriend?" However, we both act like it.

    • Show All
    • It's time to have The Talk.

    • You're right... if something bothers him he has no issues bringing it to the table. I need to tell him how I feel.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Run like the wind. He's probably using you. I don't usually see social media as something you should plaster with your relationship but in this case he's being a total asshole. If he's not even asked you to be his girlfriend yet he's playing you for a fool. Don't put up with this, you deserve way better.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • He is keeping his options open. Move on. Sorry.

  • Sounds like he's probably treating you the same way that he's treating the other chicks that he's dating.

    There's a reason he's pretending you don't exist on social media.

    • Hmm... he's not actually talking to anybody else. I know because I searched. Also, we do spend a lot of time together.

    • Fine. Maybe he's got an ex he's trying to get back together with and doesn't want to piss her off. Whatever the reason, there's definitely a reason that he's hiding you, and it's probably not good.

    • You're probably right and I didn't think of that actually. I figured he just wanted to be sure.

  • You are a side hoe. He has a girlfriend.


What Girls Said 2

  • Has he even said to you that you are his girlfriend?

    To me, if its official then you should be 'in a relationship' on fb too. If he genuinely considers himself with you then what should be the problem letting the world know.

    What he is doing seems to be keeping you his dirty little secret. For all you know there is another girl he is doing the exact same thing with. And the fact that there seems to be no mention of u on his account points exactly towards that or at the very least that he still intends to date other people so doesn't want anyone to know he is dating you.

    I'd tell him straight. Make it official for the world to see or your dumping his fake ass.

    • He only calls me his girlfriend at gigs when people ask who the hell I am even though he hasn't officially asked me to be his girlfriend yet. I do girlfriend things already but I feel I may be overextending myself and need to take a step back.

    • I agree with this minus the FB part. I don't like having my relationship status on FB myself because I don't want the world to notice if we break up or anything, but it's weird that he doesn't even want to take a picture.

  • You're either a side chick or wants to keep his music life separate from his personal life.

    But I personally think you're a side chick. Musicians get a lot of girls wanting them and hitting on them. If it looks like he has a girlfriend, he loses chicks.

    • I'm not denying it but I don't think so... it's almost this bad stereotype that musicians have groupies and lots of girlfriends but I've spent a significant time around him and I know that I'm the only one he's dating. He had a past and I get that but he really does seem ready to settle... it just worries me sometimes his ways.

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    • @Elarra
      He's going to get on the defense... so maybe I should just say that I'm not up to it and make up a white lie then tell him the truth when he gets back? I feel like I want him to wonder. It may sound vindictive but I don't want to ruin his weekend either. He'd just be upset.

    • You should tell him how you feel. In fairness, he can't fix the problem if he doesn't know what it is.