How to not get obsessed over someone and be able to break up with someone if they don't do something I like?

I have this tendency to get so invested in a guy that no matter what they may do later on in the relationship I let it slide. For example, I got really into a guy and we went on 6 dates. He met my parents on the 5th date. On the 6th date he came to my house again and when he first entered the house I went to use the bathroom and he didn’t say hello to my family at all. He also didn’t even say anything to my brother either. He was just texting on his phone in the kitchen while my family was in the living room. My mom thought I should no longer date this guy since he was rude. I know now my mom was right, but at the time I was so into him his actions blinded me from seeing I shouldn’t date him. I think the issue perhaps is that I spend too much time obsessing over someone that I don’t want to give up on the person if they do something that is not right. I will make excuses in my head oh it’s not that bad, etc. In my past I have had two relationships and they broke up with me, but I should have been the one to have done it first. Now that I have started online dating I don’t find it hard to end things with someone after a first or second date if I don’t like them that much, but I have trouble ending things with someone when I first initially was really into them. When I’m really into someone I get obsessed and it’s an issue. Any advice?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • As the saying goes, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. Do not settle for less. There is a guy walking around out there that is looking for you who will build a relationship based on love, trust and respect for one another.


What Girls Said 1

  • "I have this tendency to get so invested in a guy that no matter what they may do later on in the relationship I let it slide. "
    I wish I understood people like you. I have the opposite tendency. I always find reasons to bail. Always. It's like I am scared of actually being happy. I am afraid to invest.
    Anyway... I read the whole thing and well... I wouldn't consider it a red flag if someone was rude to people, but that's just me. I would try to understand the reasons behind it and if they were valid, I'd still give him a chance.

    As for being obsessed with the people you like, whenever you realize that someone you like is doing something terrible, you need to control yourself and stop contacting them. You need to constantly remind yourself that you're doing the right thing by refusing to respond to their messages.
    You can't easily control the way you think, but remember that you can always control your actions.
    Good luck.