Why Do I Keep Getting Treated Like Trash?

I've yet to have a long term girlfriend. Come pretty close, or so I thought but, well here's my dating history. This last month, tried to get with a girl, she seemed fun and upbeat and despite some minor complaints, everything I wanted in a SO. It seemed to go great, talked to her regularly, had her on facebook, and even was going to meet up with her at last; I was willing to drive 60 miles out of my way to meet her in one of the towns surrounding the big city I live in that she'd just moved to. Then my friend who was doing the driving comes down ill. I call to defer to another date. She says it's for the best since she was hungover anyway. So I try to keep in touch with her. I send her a facebook message while I'm up, unable to sleep; it wakes her up accidentally and she's annoyed with me. I try to smooth things over. Things seem fine. Then I see a week later "Has entered a relationship." She didn't even tell me.

The girl I met online before her I went on one date, and it went great. Until she left the state a week later without telling me that'd been part of the plan.

A girl I met in person dragged me along for a month and a half, standing me up for dates each time until I gave up.

Before that, the last girl was an emotional manipulator, not someone I was physically or emotionally attracted to, and tried to convince me to let her move in with me. I've cut contact since. The girl before that destroyed my self confidence over the course of four years and cut me off from my entire circle of friends at that time. She even introduced me to a guy as "He's like a better version of you!". The girl before that threatened to commit suicide if I left her (She never did but she threatened to.)

I've always believed you need to become friends before you become lovers, but now I'm starting to believe that whole idea that I can't understand women, like they're not people. And I'm pretty sure it's not how I look.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I agree with you on the fact that you have to become friends before lovers.. in my opinion its no big deal that youve been stood up so many times... it happens all the time especially if its meeting people online. .


What Guys Said 2

  • You need to be a man and put your foot down. Stand up for yourself and show some backbone.

    You need to take what you want. Stop waiting around like a little boy. Be a man. Have some initiative.

    If you see a woman you want, take her. She's all yours my friend.

    • Yeah, sorry. No. In fact I spend much of my time railing against this "alpha-bro" garbage. Men didn't need it for 2000 years, we don't need it now.

      I'll never believe that a woman is some kind of "prize".

    • You asked a question, I gave you the answer.

      I never said anything about alpha, you did. Grow up

  • They treat you like trash because you don't stand up for yourself. I feel girls would want a guy who is gentle but isn't afraid to stand up for himself.

    • To clarify; I do.

      I dumped the girl who threatened suicide. I told the emotional manipulator to leave, I've not lacked for spine to tell them when to hit the road. But these seem to be the only kind of girls I attract.