What to do when a guys words dont match his actions?

Long story short, I told this guy about how I felt things were between us because it was stressing me out. Told him things were different between us and it doesn't feel the same as it was from the beginning. Everything use to be fun and light-hearted and he would text me as soon as he saw my message. A few times his seen my message but never replied until the next day. So thats when I piped up and said something. His response was that "What makes you say that? Nothing happened and I am happy talking to you.."
I want to sort things out but he makes me feel like there was nothing wrong to begin with... I was going to try and sort things out and if he does try to show that he cares, was going to take a break between us...
Not sure what to do, suggestions?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Never trust words. Words are easy.

    Trust actions.

    Not responding to your text for a day is disrespectful. Period. I would never put up with that and you shouldn't either.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Overthinking can ruin things. Here's the thing. Yes it's awesome when a guy texts back immediately and yes in this day I. Age everyone usually has their phone on them. But try not to put to ouch stock in texts. It's juvenile. Call him. Let him call you. Actually make plans to engage with each other. Also, get to know him. There is no harm in getting to know him. No need to rush. It shouldn't be about trying to find an inst-boyfriend. If he's not on the same page as you, yes it will hurt but you may need to move on. I'm not going to say you're guaranteed to find a mother guy like him but the longer you stay in denial the harder separating from him becomes. Be still and quiet. YOU know what the deal is. You can feel if he's on the level. Also, as females we like verbal reassurance. Guys don't always operate that way. Sometimes they are most action oriented.

    • Yes I understand however I feel like I am being used sometimes or treated as a doormat. I needed to put my foot down once and for all, can't just sit in silence and be taken for granted. He hasn't put a lot of effort into much whereas I've been jumping hoops. I want to know whether or not he truly does care and if he doesn't there is no point wasting time on him anymore.

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    • I doubt he is narcissistic and maybe you are right; I did like the hype of everything and perhaps I miss it. He can't reassure me forever but if he was into me or wanted me around he would put in the effort. I've learnt that actions speak louder than words hence why I was asking this question. People can say what they want but showing it is a different story, its harder to fake. We aren't even in a relationship but maybe I act like we are. I don't know I feel like I've made myself a fool, but I wanted to at least have some backbone to speak my mind and let it be known. Maybe I felt like I needed time apart from him to get myself together as I was dealing with others issue when I was talking to him... Well I've told him whats on my mind and now I dont know where to go from there

    • Where you go from here is to take care of you. I'm not fine yet with my similar situation but we both have to move on. People forgive people all of the time maybe this is the end of the old way you all interacted. Maybe you'll never talk again. But don't keep telling him your piece. He doesn't need to know how hurt you are.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • The sensations people feel at the beginning of a relationship kinda turns little stale as time goes. He might be into you, just he doesn't see the point of trying to do things to impress you. Be contented... its how the dynamics roll

    • Thanks! He was trying to impress me in the beginning however it had run its course and just became mundane talk. I personally think we needed time apart... well I felt I needed time away... he got my number so we could talk more and doesn't use it too often... maybe I am being silly

What Girls Said 2

  • A person's words and actions would harmonise if they genuinely cared. If you judge a person by there actions then their words will never fool you. I tend to go with my own perception of a situation and my gut feeling too.

    You've told him how you feel , so all you can do is accept him as he is , or end it if its stressing you out too much

    • Yeah I told him that I dont think nothing could be the same again... he didn't fight for it but just said "Oh ok well cya later it was fun talking to you" ... I feel like shit! Had another go at him because Im mad as hell. Told him i genuinely did care and he would take me for granted. Hate him so much feel like crying!!

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    • Thanks, he just sent another message... seems like his trying to understand but although I want to fix things I know deep down inside I need to let it go :/

    • If you feel the relationship can't be salvaged then you need to let go. I wouldn't make a hasty decision just yet though. Wait until you are 100% sure you need to let go. I hope whatever decision you make it turns out for the best for you 💗

  • Maybe he was busy or possibly got distracted. Another option was he didn't want to feel too clingy/needy and decided not to text you for a couple minutes but he forgot and it turned into a whole day. You could also be the problem, are YOU too clingy or annoying? This could be why, I know I've done this too a few people because I'm a bitch.

    • I dont think Im clingy or annoying? I dont double text and usually too busy throughout the day to message him anyway. Usually reply back to him in the morning and at night... I dont try to appear busy either. Like to dedicate time aside to message people so Im not rushed to quickly type some nonsense