I am seeing a married man. Now before you judge me listen. I am 23 my fiancé passed away suddenly 2 years ago from a tragic accident. Since then I have found myself in a little bit of a break down ; not knowing how to handle grief or the feeling of "being alone" work keeps me busy but I am constantly reminded of him and all the memories and love we shared together.
I met my fathers friend who is 63. Now I know this age is yet sickening , but we find ourselves attracted to one another ; I have made it that I don't allow him to touch me or try and sleep with me even though he has been trying. I know his wife and I feel sick over the situation. My parents do not know about this ; and I found myself this morning balling my eyes out over the fact I have feelings for this old married man. I don't want to and I know it's not "normal" I also feel doing my own psychosis that I am attracted to the fun when we go out and have lunch and dinner mostly the companionship like me and my fiancé would do before he passed. How do i remove myself from this mess as I do know it is one ; he is very aggressive with me and he initiated this ; due to my morals and beliefs i will not go there ; to that place or no turning back. How do I cope with the grief without making stupid decisions?
Most Helpful Guy
" How do i remove myself from this mess as I do know it is one"?
you simply end it
"How do I cope with the grief without making stupid decisions"?
allow yourself to grieve. surround yourself with family and friends who love you. talk to a therapist (which it sounds like you definitely should do).3
Most Helpful Girl
From my late mother's experience. You need to just back away. What she did was cut him loose on the get go, and never spoke to him again. This was way before she ever met my father. It was not her fault. Thankfully she never had sex with the guy. But he never told her that he was married, nor did he have his wedding band on. You just need to dump him immediately. You don't need to explain yourself to him. He is the one who cheated. But you have to be honest with somebody, especially your parents. And just explain to them that you had no idea. However if his wife does end up finding out, just tell her the truth. But you have to let him go. Its normal to feel attracted to somebody for whatever reason. But you have to come to a conclusion of your own convictions. You say you have morals, then you needs to act according to those morals. Or else you show that you don't have none. You don't cope. You just move on. Because if you cope, you will continue to see him and want him more. Become tempted, and god forbid end up doing something you will regret. And they have serious consequences. You don't know either or of their mindset.0