Girls think I'm gay. It's stopping me from having relationships, what can I do?

Girls think I'm gay and it's become a major problem.

I'm approaching 30, I've only ever had one relationship which lasted 10 months and she cheated on me with my best friend.

I have been told I am good looking.

I've been Speed Dating a lot.

At one event, two girls made a comment to a friend of mine that although they found me attractive, fun and had good chemistry, they could never like me because I have a gay voice. Another said I had a gay face.

The host let me read the comments, "gay voice", "gay face", "gay". Gay is the major reason girls tick no.

I never bring it up.

I don't find men attractive.

I used to laugh it off but now I'm frustrated. I've had zero success. in one night I got rejected 5 times for being gay. When I told them I wasn't, they didn't believe me.

Last night, I'm with a girl, we have our arms around each and we're getting physical. We go to kiss, she pulls away and says she only sees me as a friend as she thinks I'm gay. We were about to kiss. I was clear in my intent that i found her sexually attractive.

She told me it was my polo neck. I made a joke and told her I wasn't, we continued dancing, arms around each other etc. Ultimately at the end of the night, she told me she didn't believe I wasn't gay and hooked up with another guy.

I feel like I've zero chance and as an almost 30 year old who has had 1 short relationship with a girl who had intimacy issues (due to her childhood), I have little experience. I haven't had any dates since she dumped me, I've been going out three times a week and I keep getting rejected for being gay. I feel like I'll never have my needs fulfilled. I will not have children. I will not have an intimate relationship if I don't sort this out.

So are polo necks seen as gay?
Is spiked hair gay?
Is being tanned gay? (I'm naturally tanned due to my heritage)
How can I solve my gay voice? (I grew up without any male figures so my early speech was influenced by females - I also had speech therapy as a child.)

When I first started going out, I used to laugh all this off but now it's really irritating me. I used to play football and on the pitch, I was the leader and alpha male of my team. I seriously injured myself and haven't played since. A large part of me just wants to play football and take out my frustrations. The more I get rejected for being gay, the more frustrated I get. Bordering on sexually assaulting her (which I won't do), I felt like last night I couldn't have sent any clearer signals.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry you're experiencing this. It's sad but a true fact that dressing a certain way or certain mannerisms/speech patterns can be perceived and make people think that way. Changing your wardrobe if you want is something you can do... if I were you though I'd invest and research PUA. Use the search engine and you will find lots of helpful info. Approach anxiety. com is a good website. It can help you get a great perspective on women and how to approach them. Woman are very cerebral...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok, well, like it or not you putting off a major gay image of yourself. Your hair style and wardrobe are easy things to change. Try a different style and clothing. Polo neck is gay. Try another style.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I guy I use to see... some women might think he had a "gay voice". But he was the best sex I ever had. Nothing gay about this man

  • None of these things would make me think you were gay... don't let people get to you...😊are you attracted to women or Men? you know the answer...


What Guys Said 1

  • It's okay, I'm 100% GAY!!!