Am I doing something wrong, trying to make small talk, get out of my shell, but women either tell me they are not interested or they have a bf?

I am a hermit and I realize that if I don't talk to women that I am most likely going to stay alone unless I get lucky and a woman approaches me, due to receiving advice on here from males and females as well as getting advice on other sites, I am starting to try to make simple small talk with women, talking about anything, if I am at college talk about education, the library talk about books, but within what feels like less than a minute, women just don't want to talk to me, with just saying hello or how is your day, I get, "I have a bf" or "I am not interested", I am so frustrated with trying to just have small talk, if it is this hard talking to women making small talk I can imagine if I really do ask them out, i just get rejected and I'm not even asking them out I am just trying to develop my social skills but I am just not getting the time of day, my friends just say hi and some don't even speak to women and they have women coming to them or the women are so interested in them, I conducted an experiment with multiple women because I have become so upset, I get rejected without even asking them out and my friends do the same thing but the women want to talk to them and many have brought those women home, I just don't understand, I am not a weirdo, I live a normal life, I have normal hobbies, I take a shower and brush my teeth, lol, I dress normal, but nothing, it's so frustrating because I have never had a girlfriend and every time I just try to develop my social skills I get shot down, I mean wtf, my mom and sisters and friends tell me to wait or the right one will come along but I am slowly making my way to 30yo and what then? People are going to think i am a weirdo and women are going to be turned off and raise a red flag because they realize I have no experience in talking to women whatsoever does anyone have any advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I have the same issue except it's the guy that doesn't give me a chance haha. I don't think there is much you can do if you are already trying. I think it is better than not trying at all and maybe you really haven't met the right girl yet. I guess approaching people in public out of the blue might seem a bit odd to the girl maybe. Try going to parties and meet people there? What about extra-curricular activities?

    • It's so hard nowadays everybody is in their damn phone I look around and all I see is people on their phones or with head phones on you know lol

    • Show All
    • You never know gotta have that selfie 😂

    • psh those are the ones you don't go for hahaha

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well, it seems that you've built up a lot of frustration about this, and so it might show when you're talking to the women. We woman tend to be really sharp when it comes to reading motives and underlying feelings on and about people. Maybe they sense your frustration and are spooked by that. Also, it sounds to me like you're approaching the same types of women. I mean, if they're extremely attractive, they probably DO have a boyfriend and even if they don't, they're used to being approached all the time, even if it's just innocent conversation, they've had enough of people doing that. It's not your fault at all in that case, only all the hundreds of people before you. I mean, honestly, it could just be that you aren't extremely attractive too. I hate to say it, but people tend to judge based on looks way more than they should. I'm not saying that it's right and I'm also not saying that you aren't attractive, because I don't know, and everyone's preferences are different. And it's true what your sisters are saying. The right one for you will come along sooner or later. There's about 6.5 billion people on this planet... There's going to be someone interested in you. You can't really rush these things, they happen naturally and you've just got to let it happen. I mean, physical attraction is literal science. It's in nature. You'll find someone. There's no need to rush either, yes, you're nearing 30, but there's 50 year olds out there who're still single! And you're relatively young too, still got plenty of time. So just let things happen naturally, and don't get too frustrated at being turned down, it happens! It's part of the process.


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