Just how bad were my poems/songs I wrote to this girl? Should I be embarassed?

Poem #1

I write this song to you
To tell you how I feel
Because the pain in my heart
Is way too damn real

Your eyes, your smile
Everything about you is worthwhile

Your beautiful
Something I can't quite express
Knowing your taken
Has left me in a mess

I want to win your heart
Something I wish I could of done from the start

But instead some guy swept you off your feet
It is a feeling of defeat

Because Alexa,
Your eyes, your smile
Everything about you is worthwhile

To know you are taken
Has left my heart achen
But I still want you

Your the girl I can't have
The one that got away.
But in my heart you still stay.

Who knows what the future holds
In God's hands, one's life he molds
But I can stay afloat
In this life that is like a boat
One that takes you afar to new places
Where you always meet new faces

But you still hold that place in my heart
A heart that feels struck with a pointed dart
But I know this isn't the end
That someday, we might meet again.

Poem #2

ill call you that name
because i got all these feelings for you
that i cannot tame

With the last name "sexy"
will you sext me?
because i'd make love to you
if you let me

why are you so complex-a?
you wouldn't give me your heart
when i met ya

but i like you,
can't you see?
let's get wild
just you and me

your eyes are like stars
they shine better than my granddad's cars

You have a face so sweet
with a body so petite
you make my dick hard like a slab of concrete
But why can't we just meet?

i want to see you once more
because my heart is like a lion
you make it roar

Will you give me a chance
to steal your heart?
i wish i could of done that
from the start.

me and you
can be like glue
will you be that girl
that i can stick to?

  • Those were terrible
    Vote A
  • They were ok
    Vote B
  • They were good
    Vote C
  • See poll
    Vote D
Select a gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Omg! They were excellent, can you play any instruments? You could turn those into songs. "You make my dick hard like a slab of concrete" made me laugh.


Most Helpful Guy

  • That poor woman.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • The first one is OK, but definitely not the second one. Some errors in the first include your, which should be spelled 'you're'. Just my take because apparently, spelling matters when I'm reading a poem.

  • Aww i thought they were cute :)

  • They were... okay...

    Only be embarrassed if she has seen them.

  • I'm not gonna lie to you, these are pretty bad. Writing a couple rhyming lines that don't do anything but repeat what common sense says about love isn't writing poems. Sorry but they gave me secondhand embarrassment

  • Okay, so as a girl, I think it's really romantic for a guy to have the guts to write a poem for you.

  • Hayden, that was fucking awful. I feel like I was just mind raped reading that shit. Get a new hobby.


What Guys Said 2

  • Ummm... let's just say if I was that woman I think I'd be speechless... in the bad way though... and I think my opinion on poems would change.

  • They were good