How do I help a girl get over her insecurity?

Right, I have been seeing this girl for a month now. The only problem is she is very closed off and distant unless she is drunk. We have slept together, and I have even met her friends. But when she is sober she doesn't show as much affection, and sometimes I feel that she doesn't want to even meet me and purposely makes excuses. I do know she has been hurt in the past by a guy who she was in love with a few years ago when he cheated on her. She told me she was insecure and she does really like me but didn't tell me what her insecurities are. Do I just ask her what they are? I really like this girl and I want to help her and show her that I am different from the guys she's had in the past and help her get rid of the insecurity. I just dont know how to do it. Advice?


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  • A woman the more failed relationship/exploit she has had will become emotionally closed off/baggage. Even if you do get her to open up many of her insecurities and shit test will sometimes be related to the past dicks that have been inside of her.

    Women love is like a flame. It starts of bright and enthusiastic with the first man they love. As they get older and more failed relationship happen they get more jaded about love/relationship and build up mental baggage which they try to repress. Why do you think divorce rates are so high?

    In short before i proceed to tell you how to get her to open up, are u content knowing she will never love you as much as a her ex (even if she fakes it) and you'll be dealing with her mental/emotional baggage as long as your in a relationship with her?

    • Picture form. This a woman's heart when she is in her teens and falls in love with the guy she likes

      This is a woman's heart by her late 20's who has had a few failed relationships

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    • Hmm it's hard to say. However, I can say this. If your not the best guy (and that is based on her view not yours), she has had in the past she will never love you as much as him. There is something called alpha widows, women who were with really great guys who ended up breaking their heart. They still think about them even in relationship with another guy and if they are still contact with him well that's dangerous since that nigga can steal your girl at anytime.

    • Just to clarify why i say it's hard to tell is no matter how time passes or love you show a woman some woman just don't let go of their emotional/mental baggage and throws that sort of shit on you.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • you dont. let her keep it. if you do, she will destroy you life

    • Thank you. You summed up EXACTLY what I was going to say

  • Dude I'm telling you after trying to do this for countless girls, you CANNOT, and I mean ABSOLUTELY NOT, help her get over it. Her problem is something deeper. It's something internal that she'll have to figure out herself. The insecurities will always be there no matter what you say or do. It drives you bonkers. Don't do it to yourself man.