How do I ask a girl out with social anxiety?

Ok so I've been friends with a girl I know though work. We've gone out to the movies a few times and had dinner together, not on a date but just as friends. However I have developed romantic feelings for her but I have no idea how she feels about me, but knowing my luck she won't feel the same way. The thing is I simply cannot build up the courage to ask her out. I am super shy and nervous around girls I find attractive but that is not the only reason, a few of these reasons include: Inexperience with women, lack of understanding of relationships, fear of rejection and unable to find the words to say. I basically over think everything and I would love to hear of some encouraging advice.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Was it ever clarified that those outings were "just as friends?" Because if not - she probably is under the impression that they were dates - and already likes you. The key to asking somebody out is to be specific. Say something like this... "Hey, I had so much fun hanging out with you the other day... I was wondering if maybe you would like to go on a date with me this Friday night? There is a really great restaurant I know of that I bet you would like." Hopefully she says yes! I don't see why she wouldn't if you guys have enjoyed hanging out previously. Just think, you will never know until you ask, so might as well go for it!

    • Well, yeah none of these dates or outing to the movies were ever romantic at all. I'm pretty sure she thought it was just a "catch up with friends thing", plus they were never flirty or anything like that. A couple of the times we went to the movies were with other friends as well (only two though, we've been at least five times).

    • Still - even if it is not romantic, if it is just the two of you that basically already was a date. Just clarify when you ask her this time that you want A DATE. And then maybe hold her hand a little or give her a kiss if the moment seems right :) good luck - it seems to me like she might like you already seeing as you have hung out quite a bit!

    • Thanks, I hope so but something tells me she doesn't feel the same way, I can't quite put my finger on it. Just a gut feeling.

What Guys Said 1

  • You know, it's funny because at first I thought the question was how to ask out a girl who has social anxiety -- but the social anxiety is yours. The thing is, this is one of those things where you just have to take the leap. Just plan something and ask her out. And yes, you must plan something. Don't pick her up and ask her "So, what do you want to do?". Put the effort towards picking the restaurant and activity. People romanticize about spontaneous, but in reality, spontaneous only works in the movies because it's scripted and rehearsed. I guarantee you'll do fine.