I told her I'm not looking for anything serious MULTIPLE times. HOW do I get her to dial it back?

I met this girl 3 weeks ago. We didn't hang out until this past weekend and I made it blatantly clear that I was NOT looking to date her or get into anything serious. We spent 2 hrs at the end of the night making out in her car. (I told her before I kissed her that I didn't want her to overthink it).

The feeling isn't mutual, she fell head over heals... The next day texting I had to restate what I didn't want again. Then she pulled the friends with benefits card. I said okay, maybe, we'll play it by ear. I think that the clingy texting crap is going to continue though...

I'm going to a party this weekend and she'll be there. We kinda planned on making out while there. So "one last time" I'll give in. But I think she pulled the friends with benefits in hope that I'll come around, which I won't.
Kinda conflicted on this... part of me wants to drop it completely, the other, make out again ('cause it's been a while and I TOLD her that too). Think I'm getting in over my head...

So if you can understand that, girls, any advice? Guys, what would you do?

To all that gave advice I appreciate it.
She texted me again earlier and I said again that friends with benefits don't work if 1 party has feelings. Told me she "pushed her feelings aside" and they aren't as strong as I think, she just likes to flirt. Don't really believe that being what she to me the other night... This whole ordeal got way too confusing too fast.
Either way, going to the party to have fun and maybe meet someone new and do my best to resist the temptation!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm curious, why don't you want to be serious. Is it not wanting to be serious with her or just not being in the right place to be in a relationship.
    In my opinion, she can only fall deeper for you, so I recommend you stop it if what you want doesn't align at all and there's no chance of it.

    • Not serious with her. She's not a bad girl to be around socially, but I wouldn't be able to stand her personality in a relationship. Just didn't feel any connection...

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What Girls Said 5

  • She thinks you like her because you say one think but do the opposite. Actions speak louder than words. I think it's best that you drop her and move on.

  • she likes you why not give her a chance and if it doesn't work out then it didn't but don't just keep giving in because that is going to make her think that you like her like her so if you don't want a relationship and she is the clingy type drop her clingy ass or don't and keep dealing with it

    • I'm usually pretty good about figuring out whether I want to keep dating people after the first shot (and we know each other from a bar we go to). Her I don't. Your right, the more I give in, the more she's hoping for more...

    • yeah i should know i had a friend with benefits and he became very clingy

  • Or you stop the making out thing and move on, or you're fwb's making out, sex, all that

    • Moving on almost sounds better, she's way to clingy/needy for my liking, even just for sex...

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    • Well, I'll be moving on. She's already caused me enough stress and confusion.

  • Don't fall into that. Both for yourself and her. If you make out with her she might think that you'd like to do it again after that. If she seems clingy better to cut this down than to make her believe she still has a chance. friends with benefits doesn't work if she is really into you, she'll always cope for more

    • hope*

    • Makes sense, thanks for the advice. I'd still like to go to the party anyways, to get out and meet some people mainly. That's just it, I know she's going to be hurt bad in the end and I don't want to be that guy (or lead her on). Better to stop it now than drive off the bridge...

    • Enjoy the party, of course! Just don't do anything with her, that's my opinion. Even a small signal can be turned into a huge thing if she is young and insecure :/

  • Cut relationships with her. She gets that you don't want anything serious she just doesn't care about what you want.


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