So from a previous question i asked, the replies where all the same saying i should make myself less available for her, make her earn my trust, attention and make her less important in my life... I tried hard for this girl and she just continues to back away and only messaging me when is convenient for her. At one point she did say we was seeing each other but i don't know where we stand anymore and she doesn't want me to bring things like this up. I do agree i have made it easy for her but i just fell fast and hard ands tuck around waiting for her. Anyway i do really have feelings for her and she is a very large part of my life and I'm finding it difficult to pull away, my concentration and focus always wavers and i break, checking my phone to see if she has messaged... i feel bad when she hasn't messaged and bad when she has as i reply instantly with more effort. Basically does anyone have any ideas on what to do? I'm at uni and sitting in lectures doesn't take my focus from her but in practical classes i don't think about it... the issue is its hard to break my cycle and go out as its been a rough time and I've turned into myself becoming anxious, weak and not the same guy i was. I know i sound like a b! tch and a baby... thats why I'm asking for help because this person isn't me and never has... never felt like this before! so thank you for any advice.
How to make her less important in my life?
What Girls Said 1
Start concentrating on other stuff and don't pay that much attention to her. I am not saying you should ignore her overall. I am saying you shouldn't go out of your way to constantly remind her of your presence.1
What Guys Said 2
Help yourself man! You are being needy and have way too high expectations for this person. The fact that she sticks around means she is using you for a quick and easy self esteem boost. She will continue to use you for that so long as you let her. She will never see you as relationship potential because you offer zero challenge. Backing off and changing your status with her is POINTLESS. The internet is peppered with hundred of "How to get her to like you" schemes that simply do not work. Women and men both want others whom they can chase a little, but from different angles. She can't chase you if you're up her ass. She'll just run to shake you out of her bum every time you stick yourself up in there. Your messaging issues. She doesn't respond, or initiate because you are only important to her as a self esteem booster and nothing else. She doesn't want to let that go, but will never be comfortable with taking a romantic step with you. This is what you do. Delete/block her number. Do not message her that you are doing this in a pathetic attempt to garner sympathy. Your self esteem is the only thing that will take the hit when she doesn't respond. Move on with your life. It's hard to shake an addiction/obsession with a girl, but time cures it man. Enhance your personal life. Find something that excites or interests you that doesn't require the acceptance of another person. Woman and men alike gravitate towards people that do shit and take an active role in life. Don't use the "I don't have time" excuse. That's just something you are telling yourself because like most people at their low points, you feel intensely fearful of rejection. If enhancing your personal life is important to you, MAKE THAT YOUR PRIORITY. If your professional/academic life is more important right now. Make that your priority and recognize you are making a sacrifice now, for a better you tomorrow.
Finally, do not do any of this for her, or for anyone else. Do it for yourself. You and any potential friend/love interest will want to get to know you! Think about this. If you were at a party/social function, are you more likely to want to be around the person who is out having a great time? Or do you feel pulled towards the moping social pariah sitting in a dark corner checking his/her phone every 30 seconds? Think about that hard.1
She is probably fcking some other guy thats why she doesn't give a fck about u.
Listen, just tell her "hey i like u and i wana take u out, when r u free?"
if she gives u the time , then make a date, and end up with sex or at least kissing,
if she gives any excuse , just say "if u change your mind let me know"
and then u walk and never look back, i have wasted years and years of my life like u, and im telling u what worked for me.
hopefully it works for u, and if doesn't , be a man and walk away from her0
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