How do I get this girls affection?

I started dating this girl I've known since highschool I'm 26 years old she is too. It started off great and I asked her to be my girlfriend after a month. After that things went downhill and she broke up with me after 2 weeks. She says because she still has feelings for her ex whom she was with for 5 months and he had to move out of state because of the military and he has a girlfriend down there. She told me she still talks to him and will always be in her life. But she still wants me around and to hang out with her watch movies etc. But no sex and no kissing. When were at the gym and together she gets super jealous if I look or talk to another girl. She states that she just needs me to be her friend right now and she doesn't want to to see other people. I feel as if I'm being hung on a leash obeying all of her commands like a dog. She always calls/texts me first and I've been trying to pull back to see if she would miss me a bit and it somewhat works but then she filps the script I know its all a game and its stupid but want I really wanna know is if I cut her out of my life completely will that make her realize what she has lost and she will let go of the feelings for ex and come crawling back to me? This has all happened in a time period of about 3 months please any advice would help


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What Girls Said 1

  • In a relationship, I would want someone to be fully invested in me from the start. It's still early to call it quits.

    • No it's not. They both clearly want different things. He wants a partner and she wants someone to replace her sense of security and wholeness that her ex gave her.

    • @guy532 Oops! I actually meant it's early, so he *should* end the relationship. It's late at night for me. Sorry, Asker!

    • happens all the time with me as well haha

What Guys Said 1

  • She's using you, she's getting her cake and gets to eat it too while you go home a jack off to her. You need to tell her that you cannot be friends with her because you think she's an incredible woman and you want more than just a friendship and if she ever changes her mind to let you know. Then go no contact and I mean no contact, no texts for stupid reasons, ignore her texts and calls unless they are specifically about you two getting back together. You should also look to move on with your life and start dating other girls. You're not going to gain anything from sticking around, all you're doing is getting deeper in the friendzone.

    • I really hope you listen to this. I know it's a hard pill to swallow and something that you don't want to do, but she's got your head all messed up and you're not thinking straight. From an outside perspective it's very clear that this is what should be done, even if it isn't necessarily what you want. I'm sorry man, I know it's a crappy situation to be in. I also wouldn't necessarily get back with her unless she makes it clear that she's over her ex and that you won't just be a back up. Stand up for yourself and what you want, that's how you get what you want out of life.

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    • tell her that you don't see it and if she really means it she's going to have to prove it because her actions say otherwise.

    • So I finally took your advice after she stayed the night at a dudes house with few other girls while she was drinking. I honestly don't believe she did anything but. I boderlined accused her of it. Anyway I told her in person and told her I'm not putting my love life on hold for someone who can stay the night at another guys house and drink. She said she cannot believe I'm doing this and said "she wished she would've gotten laid" she left and immediately called me 5 times which I did not answer I blocked her number and all socail media. Then I sent her a long long message explaining more in detail about why I had to do what's best for me and if she is emotionally available for a relationship I'd love to give it another go. But until then I have nothing for her. I'm not gonna lie its ripping me to pieces and I don't know if I can see her at the gym and ignore her I'm thinking about changing my gym schedule for that reason