I've liked my friend for two years and now its becoming unbearable! What do I do?

About 2 years ago, I was ordering a coffee and the guy who took my order was the most beautiful human I have ever seen and I was instantly attracted to him. The following semester, we had the same class at university and we became friends. I've never said anything about my feelings for him because he had a girlfriend.

Throughout the two years of friendship, he was in a relationship and I had my own romantic adventures but about 3 months ago he and his girlfriend broke up. We went to see a concert about 3 weeks ago and he and I kissed, something I've been wanting to do for about 2 years. Since then, my feelings for him have heightened and our mutual friends know that I've had a thing for him this whole time!

About 1.5 weeks ago he started seeing someone else but at the same time he talks to me about how he still thinks about his ex-girlfriend. I don't know what to do, he tells me about the new girl and the old ex-girlfriend. He opens his heart to me and all I can do is sit there and listen as a friend when deep down I want to be the one who makes his heart beat faster and slower at the same time.

What should I do? Any advice? Why am I always the rule and never the exception?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Ok, so you went to a concert together, kissed, and the next sentence you typed says he started seeing another girl! Ok, big gap there with the events! What happened after that kiss? Did you not show any further interest? You may have had a small window of opportunity and missed your chance. Sounds like friendzone shit to me.

    • I did show interest, trust me! The thing is, I don't want to cause any conflict of interest. I lost guy friends in the past because one liked the other and the feeling wasn't mutual. Don't want that from happening!

      to be honest I didn't think he was gonna start dating that fast (in the space of 2 weeks)... that's ridiculous

    • Hmm, bad timing for sure. Yes, I understand crossing that friendship/lover line can be hard, but you can't leave one foot on each side to be safe and expect full success with one or the other, you know? I am guessing either he still sensed too much "friendliness" from you or the other girl simply made a move that you didn't. This is where those silly relationship "exclusive" rules may work in your favor. Maybe they aren't "exclusive" yet and you can still try with him. You are going to have to tell him how you feel. (I would actually tell him he is most gorgeous person you have ever seen! I would be soooo flattered if a woman said that to me!) You are going to have to take a risk here. You either be friends, or go for broke. Not this in-between awkward dance. You have to go for it, because being only friends is breaking your heart anyway and you really don't want to be only friends.

  • Did you two talk about the kiss? Maybe he didn't want to make a big deal out of it in case you weren't interested? Or it was just a drunken move. Anyway if he still isn't over his ex it's hard to do anything. Maybe you can take him out somewhere to forget about his ex and see where that goes.

    • We didn't no, don't really know what to say to bring it up to be honest! If he clearly isn't over his ex, why is he already seeing someone else?

    • Because he won't get over her by sitting at home doing nothing. That'll just make it worse. When you're out seeing new people and having new experiences it's easier to see what else life has to offer.

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