Girl liked me but I messed up... how do I recover?

So I've worked with this girl for over a year.

Long story short, she thought I was very attractive and there was a lot of sexual tension building up between us, so much so, she began acting very shy and nervous around me. She would blush and stutter a lot unable to function around me. I invited her to hangout several times, but she was always busy (probably too shy/nervous). Regardless, she enjoyed my company/attention, always wanting to work on projects together at work, etc.

Tired of her acting this way and wanting her to feel more comfortable, I mistakenly texted her wondering if everything was alright, pointing out how she's been acting different around me lately. I asked if I had hurt her in any way, apologizing if that was the case. I told her I really cared for her.

A day passed with no response.

For whatever reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to text her again.

I mentioned how I didn't take anything personally, and how I realized she'd been acting that way because her anxiety was probably high (she's mentioned anxiety before). I knew this wasn't the case, it was because she had a crush on me (her friend told me). I expressed how I'm here if she needed anything, that I wanted to help her and be there for her, and that it was difficult for me to watch her silently struggle at work.

A few days pass and still no response. I immediately knew I messed up and regretted it SO much.

The next time I worked with her, she acted as if nothing ever happened. I could tell there was a difference. The sexual tension seemed to have vanished. She was no longer shy/nervous around me. I apologized for sending her those texts and how it was none of my business. She said "its ok".

It's been a week since then, and she has been more quiet around me at work and doesn't seem to want my company/attention anymore. She no longer holds strong eye contact either. This may change in the weeks to come, but I'm wondering what you guys think I should do?

How can I get her interested again?

Should I tell her I was just trying to be a good friend to throw her off and maybe work on getting her interested later on?

Should I tell her I sent her those texts hoping to make her feel more comfortable around me because I could tell I made her nervous?

Should I tell her in person how I feel?

Should I tell her I sent those texts because I knew she liked me and I wanted to make her feel more comfortable?



Most Helpful Girl

  • Ask her bluntly if she received your text, and if she says no, quickly sum up what you sent. If she says yes, say "oh good! I thought I had upset you" and she will probably say you haven't. Then, ask her to join you for a lunch sometime :) it's simple and hanging out with you will probably eliminate a lot of her anxiety.

    • I'm sure she received my texts, since when I apologized for sending her all those texts, she said "it's ok". If she didn't receive them she probably would have asked "what texts" or something :/

    • Oh shoot, I'm sorry I didn't see this! The notification must've drowned in the others... I hope everything ended up well for you. Thank you for the answer choice.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It is time that you moved on. Whatever you thought she felt for you, it is not there. With how things are today, it is not a good idea to draw something like this with someone you work with. What you do could be considered harassment. People have been fired for less.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Give up on her and move, she never liked you in the first place, a friend was stupid or lying.


What Guys Said 1

  • Accept the reality of the situation at work and move on and act professional in the work place to smooth it over

    • I know that would be best, but I don't want to give up on her. It's just a part time job, I may only be there another 1-2 years.

      If trying to recover and have a chance with her is my goal, what would you suggest?

      I'll be working with her tomorrow, so I'll update the situation then.

    • Then don't give up make a choice and accept the outcome of any actions