I got rejected by a girl last week after five dates. She said I was a nice guy, a gentleman, and old school. What does being old school mean?

She said we can stay friends but if i need to move on, I can take as much time as I need. For our dates, we had dinner, coffee, watched a movie and played archery. After the rejection, I actually felt like she did not view those as dates, but as friends hanging out. I followed some of the tips I read online such as complimenting her and making physical contact such as guiding the small of her back, touching her forearm, high fives and brushing off something on her hair.

I accepted her offer to stay friends, but I do not plan to initiate contact with her anymore. I also do not want to disturb her anymore and prevent myself from getting hurt more.

What did she mean by old school? What is the difference between old school and new school way of pursuing/courting a girl? A mutual friend told me the girl does not like the traditional style of courtship. We are both Asians if that makes any difference with the courtship style.

Appreciate the comments. Thank you in advance.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Generally it means you have manners. In your case, you were too soft. Didn't escalate at all. You were female friend to her.

    • Thank you for the comment. Actually she told me as an advice that I should not just rush into things. It made me actually feel like I moved too fast. I proposed to be more than friends by giving her a rose.

      Just wondering how would you have done escalation? And when?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe she meant that you took things slow or that you have beliefs that conflict with her beliefs. She thought you guys were not a good match.

    • What is the non-traditional style of pursuing a girl? New school or modern way.

What Guys Said 1

  • You took things too slow, she wouldn't you to sleep with her on the 3rd date, then the 4th... 5th was the last chance ans she realized you aren't going to seduce her.