When she says "she just got out of a relationship"... Is that always a way to let me down easy, or does she mean it?

Newly single. Went out on a date recently with someone I met at a party. It went alright, not great, not terrible. We did kiss a bit later that night, but didn't seem to want to take it further. She kissed me again quickly when she left. I texted her after the date to say I had fun and we should do it again and she replied immediately that she had fun and yes we should do it again, but nothing concrete.

I texted her a few days later, but when I tried to set up a second date, she told me she just broke up with her boyfriend 2 weeks ago, and thought she was ready to date again, but realized she wasn't. I wasn't that bummed and went through the same thing not long ago so I understood, and that is really how I felt when I went through the same thing. She said she did have fun and didn't want me to think that's the reason. But she didn't think it was fair to keep seeing me.

I've been around long enough to know she probably just wasn't that into me. I Told her I understand, and even if she didn't like me I wouldn't hate her. And that if she ever felt like hanging out again to give me a call, and left her with a light hearted inside joke from when we met.

She said thank you for understanding, and haven't talked to her since, that was a few days ago.

So what do you guys think? I'm like 90% sure she wasn't into me, but maybe she is just getting over it and there could be a chance in the future, but I feel like she would have left that open if she was interested. And if she was really into me she wouldn't have cared... but with women you never know...


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What Girls Said 3

  • he doesn't want to make you the rebound guy. sounds like she likes you but that is way too early to start dating after breaking up. granted everyone has a different timeline. but never heard of a woman moving on that quickly. took me 3months and that was fast for me..

    • Right, but if you really did like the guy would you say this? I feel like if this was the case she would tell me but still continue to hang out. I wasn't trying for anything serious right away, but I did think she was fun and attractive.

      I feel like if she really did like me she it wouldn't have been an issue. I think she just isn't into me.

    • yeah, I would say that if I liked a guy otherwise I wouldn't have said anything. but first of all. dating within 2weeks is too soon. it's an invitation to revisit at a later time. maybe just be a friend for now.

  • I would guess she really isn't ready to start dating again. I wasn't ready to start dating again two weeks after I broke up with my boyfriend.

    • Right, I recently went through the same thing, and I actually did the same thing to a girl I went on a date with after we broke up. But I also realize that this is a nice way of saying, I'm just not that into you.

      She is a friend of a coworker of mine, so I feel like she was just trying to let me down nicely. The only thing that confuses me is her kissing me before she left after our date. If she didn't like me at all I would figure she wouldn't want to kiss me.

    • Maybe kissing someone else is what made her realize she's not ready.

  • It doesn't sound like you were that into her either... you said it was "alright, not great" and you "weren't bummed".

    Even if she liked you she's not there yet anyway so it doesn't matter.


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