Im jealous of my boyfriend's closest female friend?

Hi :(
So my boyfriend told me recently about his closest female friend and she's really pretty. They hang out every few weeks but talk pretty often on the phone, not as much as us but I'm still really worried. They get each other gifts a lot as well. He's honest with me and everything even though we've only just started dating and I haven't met her yet. I'm at a stage where I cry myself to sleep sometimes and I get anxious whenever I think about it. Should I be worried or am I just being paranoid? He mentions her in a lot of our conversations too, even if it's brief.
He's told me that I'm his girlfriend and best friend, and he's mentioned me to her, and we see each other more often, talk more often but I'm still worried cos she's the only other girl he talks to on the phone apart from me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's understandable that you feel a little insecure about this, most girls would. You should also be able to communicate your feelings about this to your boyfriend and he should be able to listen and to reassure you. You can't really tell him to abandon his friends, nor should he need to if you truly trust him.

    I tend to look at it like this. Trust is not a guarantee, it is an act of faith. If you trust someone you can get hurt, but without trust there is no chance of love. You can't own someone, you have to allow them to make free choices. They have to CHOOSE you, otherwise you will never be able to keep them.

    If your boyfriend has chosen you then have faith in his choice. Just make sure he knows that you won't be second best to anyone.

    • Thanks for your thorough answer-I appreciate it! :) so in your opinion would you liked a girl more if she was cool with your friendship and positive about it or if she was upset cos I can just pretend to be happy about it if that was the case

    • I don't think that you can expect a girl to be one way or another, she is who she is and you chose her for who she is. You can try and work with her to make her feel more assured and she can also try and work on herself.

      You shouldn't have to pretend to be happy about it, nor should you say that you are happy about it. You should be honest that it makes you concerned but you should also say that you want to try and work on that. That you want to try and be more secure in the relationship.

      If a guy wants to break your trust you can't stop him and it's a waste of your energy to try. That's what I meant about trust not being a guarantee of anything, it's an act of faith. We can all cheat if we want to, we just choose not to. Opportunity to cheat is not the reason that we cheat, we cheat because we make a choice to cheat. You can't stop someone making that choice. To live in constant fear of it is to drive yourself insane with worry.

What Guys Said 1

What Girls Said 1

  • Has he ever had a crush on her? Were they ever a thing?

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