Should I ask him out? Or have I messed up already?

Hi, so I met a bloke on a group night out (we have friends in common) a couple of months ago. I thought he was stunning (people keep telling me he's not very good looking, but I have unusual taste) so I went to talk to him. We got on really well and ended up just going off on our own for a couple of hours. It felt like a date, we got quite flirty, and then he said he was in the middle of moving etc. and didn't want to disappoint me. I was feeling brave, and said he could kiss me anyway, so he did. He asked why I fancied him, I told him he was my type and I found him very attractive (I also felt like I'd met someone special, but I didn't tell him that). After lots more kissing we went our separate ways and didn't contact each other.

Now he has moved to where I live, and I see him a lot on nights out. Our friends think there is something between us, and that he's interested. But my friends who don't know him say that I'm wasting my time and if he hasn't asked me out, to forget about him.

He isn't shy, he's really sociable and outgoing in general. but I suspect he might not be very confident with women. The night we kissed he kept asking why I liked him, as though he didn't believe me. Most people we know think he's not very good looking, whereas I get asked out a lot - but I'm really picky and usually turn people down.

I feel like I might have been too forward with him at first, as it's rare for me to find someone I fancy, so I was kind of excited. But now I'm getting to know him better, and he's everything I want in a man, in other ways too! I have to admit I'm a bit smitten.

People keep telling me to ask him out, but I keep reading dating advice that says you should never ask men out, or tell them you fancy them. So maybe I already messed up that first night?

But if he's not interested, maybe it's better to find out now, and be upset now and get it over with?

Any opinions guys? Thanks


What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Spend a lot of time with him but don't be too pushy. Guys don't like girls that are easy. Offer him your romantic self but don't over do it and spend a lot of time with him so he knows you are serious aren't are just flaking out on him or trying to string him along.

    • Thanks, that's what I've been doing, trying to get to know him better and be friends. I just haven't actually been flirty yet, I wasn't sure when is long enough being friends first.

  • Umm, where do you read such dating advice? I believe that if you really want him, you should definitely ask him out.

    • It's mostly on the internet, from 'dating experts' such as Matthew Hussey, Christian Carter etc.

      I might just have to be brave and do it, I suppose I'm just scared he might say no. Thanks for the advice :)

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