Why is this man putting up with my craziness if he claims he doesn't love me?

So I am completely baffled by this man's behavior. We started dating and everything was fine. I admittedly feel like I slept with him to early on. However, he was quite the sweetheart. He would text me good morning beautiful/goodnight constantly. We texted while we were apart nonstop. I continued to date other men because he never really stepped up to have the "where is this going" talk. He knew I was dating other people and had made small comments about it. Eventually, I needed to know where he was at and things started to get weird. He told me he didn't want a relationship and gave me every excuse in the book. This made me quite upset because I felt like I my emotions were being toyed with. Shamefully... I became rather verbally abusive towards him. Full on emotional meltdowns of me screaming at him to leave me alone and stop using me for sex or stringing me along. l and how horrible he was. I've asked him countless times to just ignore me and let me go. I explained to him multiple times both calmly and not so calmly that his behavior was hurting me and I wanted him to go. He asked me to move in with him because he needed a roommate and we spent sometime looking for apartments together. It didn't work out. He swears it wasn't about the sex. But is persistent that it is the best he has ever had ever. He's not initiating conversations now. But he always jumps to reply. Recently on good terms we were joking and I told him sorry my emotional breakdowns are directed towards him and that he gets the emotions while I sleep and date other men. He replied with "lucky me" However when I called him hungover, sick and puking after going on a date. He came over and nursed me back to health. My question is why is this man acting this way towards me when I've done everything in my power to push him away because he won't commit. Why on earth would he be putting up with me if he says he doesn't love me?


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What Guys Said 2

  • he didn't want a relationship cause maybe he had his doubts, and if asked me i would say ha had all the right to.. i mean you had multiple dates.. it's not like you were waiting for him to tell you "heyy!! stop fucking around" to actually do that!! you didn't feel like he is enough.. and that's an enough reason for to kill any relationship.. he will never say he loves you and if he did he's probably lying (he clearly wants the benefits)
    you fucked it up from the start you have to see this and make sure it won't happen next time

    • I appreciate that brutal honesty. I agree that when he started to get wishy washy, my freaking out only made the situation worse. We did talk about how neither one of us were sleeping with other people. I asked him directly if he cared that I continued to date since he didn't want to commit and he said it was fine.
      I just dont understand why would he still be sticking around.

      But thank you for the advice.

    • Show All
    • Yea, I guess I just see it as... if I was good enough he would have committed. But it works both ways. Thanks.

    • anytime :3

  • When will people get over the idea of being used for sex. It's natural and pleasurable for both genders. If it's not, that's because someone didn't communicate their sexual needs to the other. Having sex doesn't make you "slutty". If you feel that someone is using you for sex, you weren't emotionally ready for it with that particular person. Nobody has an obligation to commit to a relationship. If you were deadset on that, you should make that clear before things get physical.

    • You're right. However, most of my anger towards him came from the fact that he continued to try and tell me it wasn't sex. That it was more then sex but freaked out over any kind of commitment.

      I was totally OK with it being casual but he insisted it wasn't like that.

    • Maybe he's confused, like he went into it thinking casual but found you pretty cool so did nice things to you. In any case it's up to you who you date and who you don't. If you're unsure, just go with one of the other guys.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you answered your own question in your post. You said he told you you're the best he's ever had. Guys will do some crazy things and put up with a lot of shit for good pussy. I've put guys through hell and they kept coming back for my pussy so I know from experience. Yeah you're that good!