Ask or not about an extra toothbrush in his bathroom?

We've been good friends and been sleeping as well over a year. We've had a chat about not having sex cause it makes things complicate, but we can't seem to help it. We both want it whenever the cicumstance allows us to have it, but we value our friendship more. We chat everyday, watch movies, go ride and hiking, eat and drink and all that. Neither of us is in a relationship but we said we would be open and honest about it if we happen to see someone seriouse.
The other night, we watched a movie together and I saw an extra toothbrush in the bathroom. I wanted to ask... but for some reason I didn't. (I guess I didn't want to act like a girlfriend or something) He wouldn't want me to leave so we had sex. It seems like he has no clue... but I feel like I should ask about it anyways because I don't want him to think it's okay to display other lady's stuff even though we're not committed to each other. Or if it belongs to a regular visitor then he should have told me. Or it maybe his old toothbrush. Question is how should I bring it up without making him embarrassed or feeling guilty?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you gotta let it go. Asking indicates a possessiveness or ownership you have explicitly agreed not to have. Unless you want to have "a talk". Which will inevitably change the friendship with sex dynamic. You may lose both. If you are willing to do that. So be it.

    • Exactly why I'm reluctant. But I don't want to have sex with him while another girl's toothbrush's there. I just want to let him know that. Queation is how...

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What Girls Said 3

  • Yeah you're clearly already attached to him on an emotional level. If he's not interested in a relationship, you need to end this thing with him, and stop song him completely, even as friends, until you can get over him.

    • By the way, "we can't help it" is a weak cop-out. You always have a choice to leave if the temptation is too strong.

    • True. I am, and more than he is. We've had a talk a year ago. I can't go for a relationship thing with him for several reasons. We don't want to lose our friemdship tho. Better stop the sex but it's been damn hard. We try to meet outside if possible.

  • Just ask it casually? "Hey, you use two toothbrushes?" I mean i dont think he will be embarrassed or anything.

  • Just make a joke of it by saying " oh you've bought me a toothbrush " then laugh. That way you aren't making assumptions or accusing him of anything

    • Good advice... but I lost the timing already.

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    • Thanks! :)))

    • Welcome