Why is he choosing them over me?

I rarely see my boyfriend because he works nights. We talk for about an hour before he has to leave, and about an hour when he gets home. I only see him on his days off, but he hangs out with his friends 9 times of out 10. I'm always telling him how I'm afraid that once I start working, we'll never talk or see each other and end up breaking up.

This weekend, he's making a trip up to his old college with one of his friends, and he said he'll be there all day. We made plans for that day last night, and he told me, "Oh, well, you can come with us." But I could tell he didn't really want me to come.

I understand that he has friends and he likes to hang out with them. Trust me, I have no problem with that. But I never get to see him anymore and it's really starting to take a tole on my emotions. I'm really hurt that he would just blow me off like this, to go up to college for some BS. He could have picked another day, but he doesn't even seem phased that he broke our plans.

Am I being stupid for being upset? I just feel like he's kicked me to the curb lately. I don't care if he hangs out with his friends, but I'd like some time for me, too.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Am I being stupid for being upset?: No.

    Also you shouldn't let him break plans. Just say, next time anyway, "No, it is my day", let him pout but you'll get your time.

    "BUT I FEEL BAD!" well, if that's the case play doormat as you please. Ain't nothin' in heaven or hell or on the earth gonna help you da'lin'.


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What Guys Said 1

  • sounds like you are too jealous of his buddies. He likes to hang with his buddies. Nothing wrong with that. there will be times when he cancels with his buddies and spend time with you. goes both ways.

    dont be soo possessive or you will scare him and push him away. I've seen a lot of girls do that. give him his "man" space.

    • I'm sorry, but did you even read what I wrote?

      I'm not jealous of his friends. I don't care when he hangs out with them. But he's ALWAYS with them. He breaks plans with me to hang out with them. He's never broke plans with them to see me. He always says, 'Well, we'll hang out next weekend' if he has plans with his friends.

      If you've read any of my other questions, you'll see that I'm not allowed to hang out with my friends, and he gets mad when I do. So there is no 'both ways' here.

    • Show All
    • I wish that you could like, turn on a tv and see how our realtionship was. I always dress nice, look nice, do everything he wants to do, watch everything he wants to watch. I completely stopped asking to do things that I want to do so that he'd be happy.

    • Well then you are doing your part as a girlfriend..........and he is jus being a jerk. the question is.................are you willing to put up with his behavior. at the very least , he should allow you to hang out with your girlfriends (its a 2 way street)

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