What's his problem, and what does he want from me?

Hey guys, I've never been so confused in my life. Recently, I met this guy that I work with. I don't really want to go into a whole lot of details, but eventually, we started texting. At the beginning, things were going well w/ all the cheesy "good morning" & "goodnight " texts. Then, things began to change, as he'd take longer to text back -which was no problem because I rarely text back myself. Outside of work, we've hanged out , and we have great conversations and always laugh. He always compliments me and is ALWAYS staring at me. At work, he talks to me a lot, & we take out breaks together & stuff like that. It always seems like he is I don't know... kind of afraid around me though. I don't know what it is. Ok so here's the thing. I know that he has recently gotten out of a relationship , so understandably, he's not rushing into things,& that's completely fine by me. I let him know that when I asked him what was his goal in talking to me... I asked him to be honest & tell me what he wants. I said what do you want out of this? Do you want to be friends, do you just want sex, or... what? He said he doesn't want to put a title on anything and that he doesn't want us to be labeled as "talking." Earlier, I told him that he can do what he wants and he can talk to who he wants,& im going to do the same. He doesn't want that !! He said he wants me , & he wants me to call him my boyfriend , but he is not actually my boyfriend !!! He introduces me as his girlfriend. I told him that I'm not trying to play any games because I'm grown. I've deleted his number twice & he seemed to be hurt about it , & about "texting me first all the time." He seems like a genuine person , and I can see it in his eyes that he has been hurt a lot in the past. Help. I just don't know what he wants. It's really confusing.


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What Guys Said 2

  • What do you want?

    • This is the same question that he has asked me ! I really don't know the answer to it. I was just going to let him decide.

    • Omg. Well... hahahaha. Start with yourself sweetheart. Give yourself some time apart to see if you will miss each other and also see other people. Don't forget him but take some distance to really think about what you want

  • This is a common subject. People always ask questions about getting together with co-workers

    This is a terrible idea.


    Because, everyone will talk about this. No, you cannot keep it a secret. Everyone knows "who's doing who". People can see the subtle looks, body language, etc. People will talk about you, in some cases, negatively, because they know it isn't cool.

    If the 2 parties are overt in their relationship, it creates a nonprofessional environment, which can lead to difficulties with the bosses.

    THEN, if the relationship fails. What then? Well, the talk gets worse. The two parties themselves may talk poorly about the other person. Rumors are started. True or false, a bad environment ensues.

    Nothing good becomes of this.

    • This is understandable, but in my case, it is a little different, as I am moving away in a week to another part of the state. Also, we work at a school in the cafeteria with other people who are our age. The whole environment is full of people who "talk" to each other.

      We've been? I don't know... whatever he wants to call it... for almost a month now.

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