Yes, he's an ex. No, I'm not with him. No, I have no intention of being with him ever again. Yes, he knows that. Yes, he still has feelings for me. No, I am still not going to be with him. Yes, we are on good terms and still good friends and other than this, we have no issues.
Now that that's cleared up, he's a gym person and so am I. But every time I tell him what I'm doing, his response is, "Well, that's not going to do anything." I usually do cardio for 15-30 minutes (depending on how much weight training I do and if it's leg day) and I do weights for 30-35 minutes. I do them both once a day for one session. But he keeps telling me I'm not going to see any results even though I've already lost 15 pounds (from 185 to 170). So if I do Bicep curls with free weights, I usually use 10-15lbs. He told me I should use 25 and I can't and he thinks I'm lying. Then he told me I need to deadlift, and I can't do that either because of a back injury I had in a car accident when I was 16, and, again, he doesn't believe me.
He's a strength trainer, though, and I told him his goals were different. He can dead lift 335 and thinks that if I can't do what he does, then I'm doing something wrong.
He also told me cardio is a waste of time. And he told me I don't lift enough weight. I usually do 3 reps of 15 and I'm going to increase that to 20 next week, but he told me I'm wasting my time.
So... I'm not understanding why he's so hell bent on making sure I feel like I'm not doing anything right. He told me I need to eat 2,000 calories even though I eat 1600 and he said that's not enough. I had pancakes with a friend a few weeks ago and he told me that I'm not serious about losing weight because of TWO PANCAKES.
So I guess I have two questions. Why does it seem like he's not supporting me and is he right? Am I really not doing enough at the gym? I thought guys LIKE when girls are small and in shape so what's his deal?
Most Helpful Guy
"He's a strength trainer, though, and I told him his goals were different"
This. He just thinks everyone should train like him.1
Most Helpful Girl
Honestly, it's clear that he doesn't understand that not everybody loses weight the same cookie-cutter way. He's a weight lifter, already in shape, and clearly has a few control issues by the sounds of it.
If I were you, and this is just the sass master in me, I'd tell him that I never asked for his opinion, and that I'm doing things at a pace that is appropriate for me, and will increase how much I lift/how much I do based on what feels right for me. If he can't respect that then he can't get angry if I tell him to take a rubber fist up the ass.1