I'll definitely keep that in mind. Very interesting.
yea it makes sense.
Right i agree. the fuck boys will soon be fucked for fucking over people sadly.
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yea i know i was just asking. I just wanted to know do they think about how the bad things they do may affect a girl n her mindset.
Most people have a conscience and that applies to guys too. They may not make it apparent that they think about it and they may not spend time thinking about it when hanging with their friends, but in the quiet moments it's hard to deny when you're been a dick to somebody that didn't deserve it
lol "most people"... It's so sad to me because hurting someone like that will always come back. Karma doesn't miss anyone. Especially if that person tries to come back in your life... They better be prepared for some hurt
I don't believe in karma in the sense of a force of justice. What I do believe is that people who do shitty things often repeat that behaviour and sooner or later it catches up with them. They bring about their own downfall through their actions, by pushing their luck too much.Try not to hold on to anger or thoughts of revenge, they are cancerous and only serve to keep you in the situation that you want to forget. As long as you feel anger towards a person you are their prisoner. The moment that you don't care one way or another you are free.
Amen to that word. You are so right. Well said.
I totally agree. It's crazy because i was watching some Iyanla episodes and one young lady said men taught her that they can leave with no explanation and don't value women. I'm not going to give up, but it's hard and very scary having to start over and not know if the outcome will be good or bad.
Well I'm afraid that is a part of life, we never know how some things are going to turn out. The good news is you do have some control over who you spend your time with. :-)
I agree to that.
Right. Doesn't it ever catch up with them or some may even try come back into your life whether they've changed or just to create more mess in your life?
Well, if by "catch up with them" you mean they get some sort of bad karma or comeuppance, sometimes yes; sometimes no. Listen, karma is at best unreliable. I would never count on it. Sometimes people who hurt us go on to have happy lives. It's unhealthy to waste time thinking about how they deserve justice. Better to just move on and concentrate on how you can be happier.As for them returning to your life, it's usually best not to let that happen.So, KareGo, what are you doing to make your life happier?
Agreed. I'm actually alright. Just work and school have me occupied and I surround myself with goo friends and family who keep me sane.
Right, I've seen that many times. For those females who actually voice how they feel and what they don't like, then what?
Well, it goes beyond just that too.There are countless articles of "nice guys finish last and cool tough guys are awesome" then there is "Men cheat".WELL, pick a NICE one for a change!!So guys are like, "Hmm, should I be loyal, faithful, sensitive, emotionally supportive, and show empathy?" or "should I workout, get way too drunk, throw stuff at the tv during sports, and be loud & obnoxious?"Men don't know what they should do to keep a woman happy.:)
lol I think men have some type of idea who they are dealing with especially if they know the person for years. You can clearly see what makes the woman happy and smile and not wanna argue with you. Then, there's the "I don't like this and that and the women like I said who really do state what they expect, like and don't like.
NOPE. haha. I was married for 7 years.-She thought I was HILARIOUS. My joke style didn't chance and at year 5 she thought my humor of dry.-She thought I was cool and then she thought I had a weak voice, walk, etc, etc.haha, they change!!
Damn that's crazy. You didn't see a sign of that before marriage.
No, she laughed so hard she would say "STOP, I can't breathe". She changed.My wife is actually not a good example for this though because she went cold on me then she unrealistically just hates everything about me. Mainly because she wanted out. I've always been naturally skinny and on the last year we were together I told her I was thinking about dedicating myself to fitness and she responded "what's the point. Who cares, you are over 30".Then when I did I went from being boney to very cut. I got the 8-pk, chest. I WAS looking good, then I would ask her once every 3 months and she'd always say "meh, nothing has changed on you. your arms are a tiny bit bigger"Yeah... I was 121lbs before and by then I was 165lbsThere was nothing I could do to get her to be ok.Haha, I remember starting to listening to country music and watched her seem to HATE country music suddenly. :)
yea she's cold.
what about mentally and emotionally?
yeah, that's just not something guys tend to think about. That's the way we're wired, I think - it's also why men tend to be (not "are" but "tend to be") more effective at things like fire-fighting or rescue operations in general. At no point do they stop to think about how anyone is feeling or thinking - their preoccupation in to get them out of physical danger. Also, why men tend to be more effective soldiers...
oh ok but at one point u gotta think or come across the thought
not really. not unless it is brought to our attention, anyway. You definitely can't expect a guy to just 'catch on' without telling them. That's like asking them to suddenly write poetry in another language they've never heard of.
of course u gotta tell them. Thats what I'm saying, the 2 parties know that one hurt the other and the guys pretend like its nothing.
well, even after you tell them, unless it's something they're already familiar with, it'll be a while before they understand its significance.
That's the answer I'm looking for.. Now we're talking.
I don't just mean significance of whatever you told them about - i mean significance of anything emotional at all. It's hard for men to learn just one thing without learning everything else there is too it. I used the language analogy above, but it is very much like learning a whole different language.
I know guys aren't as emotional as women and some detach themselves from it, but everybody has feelings.
It was just a question, You can go now thanks.
I could have but that wouldn't have stopped you from asking a 1000 different questions like these in the future but only worded slightly differently. I am sick and tired of girls like you always playing the victim game I know girls like you and they are super crazy.
um ok. You sound like you've been hurt.
Who wouldn't from an evil succubus like you? You're the one who is hurt so hurt that you had to post a question about it.
you have to be a jackass ass to come and judge me as if you know me.
Amen to that.
But seriously we dont mean to hurt anyone
Those aren't real men those are little boys in mens bodies who hurt others so they seem cool
Exactly what I say. People grow in age but not in brains.
oh no honey. Not I. I want no parts of that. Even when you're reasonable and try to fix things, soe guys just don't care. The moment the person who has been hurt doesn't care, That's when the guy starts to care.
Same thing I wonder. They have emotions just like us and it's weird that we can get hurt so many times and still try and some of them would get hurt once and the world ends for them. They change for the worse and never hope for better even when better comes.
Lying about having a girl or hiding information that you should know. It's either you can tell the person they get mad and leave room to heal and come back or lie and make them really leave and not ever come back.
Dishonesty. I hate that
I have the same thoughts
I'm not with anyone at the moment. At one moment, something like that did happen to me. This guy chased me for years and I just wanted to be friends and when I actually liked him. I found out things that I should have known years ago and he started to treat me bad like he never was after me. It was like begging for a chance and when you finally get the chance, you don't want it and waste people's time by not being honest.
he's a liar hun im different i would rather piss you off and tell you the truth then lie I HATE LIES
but its okay hun I had the same happen to me before
Right I agree and that's the type of person I am and would want because lies cut deeper than the truth and the truth can fade. But a lie will just destroy things so terribly. It's funny thinking about it because a few times when the situation happened, I was told that even though it hurts and pisses the person off, that's what he loved about me that I was honest and blunt. I'm a tell it like it is person and that's what I make clear I want.
okay hun if you are gonna find an honest guy you got a longggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg search ahead of you lol okay hun and he's a liar stay away from him
I totally agree. It took me a few months to sense it and 2 years to come to realization that he's a compulsive liar. You know if he had shown his true self and told me what I should have know when we were just friends, I would've never been mad at him and I would definitely remain friends. He knew I wouldn't like the lying and I don't take kindly to people's foolishness so he hid it for years to get me to like him. I don't ever think I would have found out until I actually liked him in the way he liked me.
he didn't hide it that's how he is lol
You're right. Whoever he is dealing with and I bet I know who. Good luck for the years of hurt you've had and soon to come.
Right. If he's been after you for years and then you decide let me finally give him a chance and he changes on you, then what? Why waste years of all that and the person actually is trying to give you a chance you wanted.
Love shouldn't work that way, but sometime it does. He loses interest when you start liking him. Go figure. You have to decide how deep you love him.
True. If I wanted someone so bad and they finally gave me that chance, I would never let that go. I often wonder, was the person prepared for if I did like them and what they were going to do if I do give them a chance?
If you figure it out write a book and make a million $$.
lmaoooo wil do
just a question.. everyone knows at least one person who has done someone wrong
It was just a question don't take it personal.
well.. you are saying (we guys ) have that type of affect on you , and I'm pointing out that not all guys are like that !!
Sorry I meant "some guys"... Now you can proceed to answering the question with some facts and something you've experienced and or saw first hand.
What I've wittinessed for many decades is , boys really aren't aware or don't care either way. The ones that do always seem to get let down by the girl. Men on the other hand (Truethfully ) know exactly what is going on , especially today just don't give a f... The men who do care are for the most part let down once again. So I guess this question would be better asked on a two way street. Men as myself always care about our women and the affects that the both of us share together. And there's women out there that are the same too. Although the word can be a negative or a positive depending on you and how you're character and personality is.
Well said. I'm a nice person and I would try and try until I can't anymore, but the minute you want to come back and try again. It's not going to happen. I did the best I could and you ignored me and my attempt, even when I wasn't the initial person to have interest. Deep down I would love to give a chance, but fear kicks in and nobody wants to feel hurt again. So why can't people recognize the hurt while it is pointed out to them.
Personally... I don't ever go back period , or allow anyone to come back for seconds. I'm quite aware of my status and abilities to find some different very quickly. Ironically , after I broke up with them , ide end up finding someone who was so much better anyhow. So if things got alittle out hand... ide pray you'd find the door super quick.. so I could go out and find a better one instead. Strange but true. When someone takes The liberty to (not) listen to your immediate concerns , they could care less about you. People who fear you are not your friend.
lol yea ok. On a serious note, do they ever address the situation the girl may have been trying to address at the time whatever situation happened?
as for me i love my girl so much more than myself more than my whole life but do you know whats the most funniest thing she is the one who first approached me then i started liking then loving her then after i went after a while then i came back then all of a sudden when i wanted to hug her she pushed me and the worst thing was she told me when did i ever like you i was so heartbroken but i begged her i just couldnt leave her alone my love is just so unlimited and strong so after time she said she started liking me and recently loving me but we are far away from each other and to be honest im afraid while im away what if she is just playing on me i mean at first she did that to me and now there is not guarante if she won't repeat it right? besides we are both virgins guys care but mamy lie and dont care bth women/girls most of them are fake materilastic decieve men. Im too doubtful too about my girlfriend how can i be sure that she isn't playing on me as a fellow girl help me
@abayeabe um honestly you will never know, you have to trust. You have every right to feel doubt if she was doing stuff before. If you all are together now, you both need to come to a mutual agreement and talk about the things you expect, like, dislikes, and so forth. Most of all trust has to be built and that important, but it will definitely be hard and she has to prove she's trustworthy just as much as you.
lol guys too
No I don't I'm straightforward and tell it like it is it's why I get friendzoned
Im straight forward too. You'll get your chance
What do you mean
that was towards the friend zone thing.
Are you saying I'll get a chance to friendzone girls
No no no. I'm saying one day you'll get your chance with a great girl. I'm not saying that the girls who do friend zone you don't care about you or things wouldn't turn around, but just have hope.
Well half the store thinks there's something between me and this girl and a coworker goes today that she was talking to this girl and how she would say I'm such a nice guy and everyone knows that's friendzone
Not always. She can genuinely mean it in a friend way or really attracted to that trait of you but shy same time. It's always good to start out as friends
Well she was disagreeing as well saying why she didn't know people thought that
i didn't know either until you brought it up
So a girl can't exactly be attracted to a guy she calls nice and friendzones
Yea she can
Nothing's wrong with being nice
Well the thing is I realized she had a boyfriend and I ask her to hook me up with some of her friends cause she happened to show me pictures and a couple were really cute and she goes no I want them to myself and I would never do that
To be honest, as a girl I don't like guys telling me to hook them up with some friends. Unless I know for sure he's a good guy or something I'll suggest it myself.
She knows I'm a good guy, this girl told me she was in abusive relationships and I said I am a protector and if any person messes with my girl they would get fucked up
She's obviously scared, I would be even if I liked you and dealt with that. All I can say is continue to be a friend through good and bad and especially bad. That's when things hit us the most.
Well apparently the guy she's dating right now mistreats her but that's the thing I accepted the fact she's taken and I can't have her but why is it she shoots down me dating or asking out girls she knows
It's either for the reason I told u or she actually does like you and wants you to herself if anything happens. She's hoping things would probably change with him, but keeping her options open with you.
So why does she tell everybody that we are just friends
And I'm not a reserve boyfriend
If she's in a relationship then you are just friends. I understand your frustration, but you have to understand she's really scared if she's in a relationship already. If something does happen then you would probably be the first she runs to. You have to make it clear you'll be there for her but not at the expense of her using you because she's hurt.
Is this why she spilled her heart to me one day and told me how she was constantly psychologically abused when she was younger
I'm guessing so. No one just a opens themselves up like that to someone they think wouldn't understand or be there for them. She clearly sees something in you, if she doesn't then she's a jerk because I can clearly see you care. It's just hard for her dealing with things n having a guy that wants her as bad as you do may scare her because she's been hurt before.
Well I looked her in the eyes when we was talking and said I would protect my girl hoping that she took that as a hint
Of course she took note of that and thinks about it or even you when she's down. You have to understand that she's been hurt and you have to be there for her through good or bad.
I just don't wanna be in a situation where she stays with this guy and I'm just the crying shoulder, cause I do like this girl I make her laugh a lot and we just seem to really click
Keep yourself occupied and be honest with her and I'm not saying find another girl but maybe that would be a wake up call for her to remove herself out the abusive situation she's in. Girls don't come to guys with their problems for nothin ya know.
Well when I bring up other girls or if she sees a customer flirting with me she gets really jealous
Like one day I told her I kinda miss seeing this girl I had a crush on last semester and she kept going why and asking me a whole bunch of questions
She likes you. That's exactly what guys do when they say they don't care or are jealous. They question you and get mad over things they claim they don't care about. If she didn't care she wouldn't get mad.
So what do I do about this situation she's running telling everyone we are just friends and that there's nothing between us
Talk to her. Tell her you would like to talk to her and when u do, tell her how u like her and you appreciate the conversations you to have. Make sure u address what exactly you 2 are because she's showing signs that she likes you as well and you're confused. She can't send you mixed signals and get mad if you dnt respond her way. She needs to make it very clear on what she wants from you and with you before things get messy.
Well if she goes I'm such a nice guy and Dosent understand why people thinks me and her have something isn't this friendzone. I mean honestly I'm at the point where I wanna act like she Dosent exist at work
If that's what she would do then I think she likes you but stuck in a beard place. Ignoring her will definitely hurt her and I dnt think you should do that. You can't fight fire with fire. Maybe if you found interest in someone else she would tighten up on being clear on what it is she wants from her. If she does say that you'll are just friends then tell her that she can't do certain things and need to keep it on a friend bases. She can't get jealous at you but yet you can't even be more than friends with her.
I just don't like my emotions being played with also I'm very dependable and highly respected at my job and this is throwing me off my game
I don't either and say exactly that and other things to her. Be very honest and clear on things as u ask of her too
Could this be cause she's 18 and I'm 25 is this all just a game to her
It probably could be and she's young and seem inexperienced or at least not mature enough to realise the good person you are and the signs she's sending out.
lol what you mean obviously. If all of you do, then why do some of them do such hurtful things?
What hurtful things?
come on lol things that hurt girls they are seriously dealing with or are in a relationship with. Lying and all those stuff.
Girls also lie so what's wrongUltimately we give them good sex dose to make up
lmaooo that doesn't help the situation