Wtf does she mea red flag?

I've been talking to a lady for about two weeks now via text and we agreed to meet.
Me: I really really enjoyed talking to very much, way better than texting. You are so intriguing to me. You can call me anytime. Hope to hear from you soon.
Her: I'll call you tomorrow. I'm going to bed now. You have a preference if time? I'm off tomorrow.
Me: I'm off all week.
Her: Oh well damn we should meet in person one day... i work everyday BUT tomorrow 😑
Me: Anytime is fine Vi. I'm going to let you lead. Whatever makes you feel comfortable is ok with me.
Her: What about tomorrow for breakfast?
Me: Tomorrow is good 830 is good
Her: Really?
Me: Sure
So about 6am this morning I get this
Her: Honestly, Wednesday was my only free morning this week. I was just gona try & squeeze you in today but... I don't feel like it.
A "squeeze in meeting" is what you do when you're meeting someone that you really don't wana meet lol. I'd rather have more than a 2 hour block of time, that's all. This is me learning how not to avoid the red flags. Enjoy your holidays!!
Me: Don't understand but okay. You do the same. It was nice talking with you.

Will someone be so kind as to translate what just happened and what does learning how to avoid the red flags mean. Is she saying I waved a red flag somehow? This new dating is confusing asf.

So I contacted the lady in question per BeautifulPromisesx, because I was done with her and it turns out lualesca was right the whole time. She said I asked her to lead and when she made a choice I would change it around. She said if I was going to lead I should've just lead from the beginning and not ask her. luakesca my friend I stand corrected.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I mean, it CAN be a pretty big red flag, but she also said that she's really busy with work and stuff. Her choice of words probably wasn't the best, but you guys have obviously made good conversation and she's just trying to make time in her schedule for you! So, if anything, that's a sign of interest really! And maybe something came up and she's lost a bit of the enthusiasm that she was having for the date! It happens! So don't worry about it too much, if she likes you she'll bounce back as her usual self. If she hasn't really flirted or shown too much interest, then now would be a good time to slowly drift away without much trouble on either end. I think that she's interested though! She's just really busy! Try arranging a date next week! I hope this was helpful :)

    • I like your answer. She showed interest and then she showed INTEREST phew. When she told me to meet at her house it threw me for a loop. We recently had a guy get murdered from the plenty of fish dating site, do I wasn't going to anyone's house at 830am, hell no. If that was a red flag so be it I love my life. I can give it time I'm in no hurry. Thank you.

    • Ahaha yeah! She was really showing interest! She's probably just pretty busy is all :) yeah that's true! Meeting at her house for a first date probably isn't a good idea, try going somewhere public like a park or to breakfast maybe! It'll help keep things from getting boring and it'll make both of you more comfortable with things to do! Being inside a house is more limited, other than a nice meal and just hanging out (which would really only be best for later on once you get to know eachother more)

Most Helpful Guy

  • "i am gonna let you lead", dude can you reclain your testicles back, and be a man?
    Women doesn't have to lead, men does. That's where you fucked up, by the way don't be so clingy, let a few days go by between dates and don't over pursue.

    • Get my nuts back, dude are you crazy. Not only do I have my nuts they swing like baseballs. I was not clingy she had plenty of space. I let her lead to make her feel at ease. You have a better chance of getting blood from a stone than any from a scared woman. Conversation with her would be tough and pussy is out of the question. She tighten up harder than a first time prisoner taking his first a shower

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    • Honestly i don't know what she meant when she said that. I never heard of someone saying "i want to avoid the red flags", it makes no fucking sense to me, so i understand why you ask. Honestly i don't want to avoid red flags, i want to be able to see them to know where i stand with a possible new partner.

    • Dyde you were pretty much right.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I think she wants you to take the lead from here on since she seemed to be the one making the plans and all.

    • I wanted her to take the lead so she could put herself in a comfortable position. I know guys can sometimes put ladies in an uncomfortable position and they can't really be themselves because they're on edge. I'm not that kind of guy. I'll let the lady lead until I feels she ready for me to take over and I lead from then. When she comfortable we're both comfortable.

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    • No problem, what did she say

    • If I gave her the reigns to lead I should've let her lead and not change everything she tried to put in place. If I was going to do that I should've just lead from the beginning.

  • Except for the red flags part I understand what she is saying - that she wouldn't want to limit a meeting to a shorter time, another time would be better to get to know you?
    But the red flags is odd... she's trusting her feelings on it?
    Have you spoken to her since then?

    • No I have not. I figured she wanted out so I left her alone. The red flag bit has me confused as well. I didn't think I showed any red flags. I was very polite even after this happened.

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    • So I guess it wasn't really about meeting at her house lt was more about telling her to lead and nit really giving her the reigns.

    • That's not leading though, that's finding time with conflicting schedules. She decided she wanted to meet, she had the lead there. Not getting her preference with the date and location isn't you taking over if you have other commitments preventing you from making it there.

      There is a big difference between one making the big decisions on when to progress and then sorting out the logistics 😕

What Guys Said 2

  • I blew it with the last girl I had a chance with because she felt I was being too pushy about meeting up. Silence will make her want to meet you more than trying to schedule a meeting all the time. They feel harassed. That tactic works in the business world but not the personal one.

    • She asked to meet me. She wanted me to come to her house. I said no, we can meet somewhere a little more public. I don't know. That may have pissed her off.

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    • I don't see why there can't be a bit of both taking the lead, give and take, to get a more mutually agreeable sequence of events, but women will be women. Illogical, inflexible, emotional and un reciprocating as fuck. They want you to take the lead but on their terms. It seems you ended up with it the other way round. This is why homosexuals fight less in relationships. I wish I could be gay sometimes.

    • I told once we meet are next date we gave to sit down and plan together, no one lead we'll have to agree on everything before tge final decision is made.

  • If she was actually interested, she would have made time for you. Move on

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