I don't know what to do, please read this and help me... was I wrong?

Im 19, and I've been moved in with my boyfriend (24) for a while now and today, I came home to wake him up after my university because he said I could. I shook him back and forth to wake him up and he began to yell at me (its not unusual for him to yell, he has a short temper). I kept asking him to get up, I didn't see that anything was wrong with that... then he yelled at me some more to stop bothering him, he got up and pulled my hair really hard. I started to cry, because Im a very emotionally sensitive person ( I tend to cry a lot) then he went away from me to take a shower.
When he came back I was asking him how he felt and why he was upset, I just wanted to fix the tension that was between us, I didn't have any intention to annoy him... he kept ignoring me so i kept asking him to answer me on whether he wants to be with me or not, while putting pressure on his hands... He then lashed out at me and strangled me, I could barely breathe, I felt like I was going to die. I couldn't face him for a while after that and when I tried to fix things again, because I love him, I wanted to reason with him to let him know that what he did was unforgivable and that he should be begging me to forgive him, but he said that he didn't do anything wrong and everything he did was "self defence" against my "assault". When I asked how I had assaulted him, he said that I didn't go away when he asked me to and that I hurt his hand while asking him to reply to me... My head hurts, my neck hurts, I can't even swallow water without feeling any pain and remembering what happened but there isn't an exterior bruise on my neck (probably interior)...
This is not the first time he had done this he broke my phone 2 weeks ago because he got angry, he snatched it out of my hand and threw it across the room.
He has bruised me before, but its always been my fault according to him. Because I made him angry..
I don't know what to do, I know I should leave him. But Im in love with him

If I leave him, Im going to be living alone in a foreign country, I feel safer when he's with me... Im here to study, but there aren't any dorms.
I also want him to realise that its wrong to act like that... No matter how hard I try to explain it, he never understands it...


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are so in love with him that you don't want to leave him, you should do the following:

    1. Get a very nice photo portrait taken so your family will have a nice picture of you to hang in their living room.

    2. Make your last will and testament.

    3. Start going to church more often.

    4. Stop worrying about saving money.

    5. Say goodbye to all of your family and friends.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Why are you in love with him? Can you honestly list off 5 things that make him a good partner? I bet you can't.

    He's abusive. You need to leave.


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What Guys Said 5

  • You should definitely leave him because sooner or later he is going to really hurt you. He won't change or stop because he doesn't even acknowledge his own guilt. You say that you love him but he doesn't love you, we don't beat people that we love. Your love for him will not make this better and he is not worthy of your love. In fact, your love for him is more about his approval. You are constantly trying to get his approval and all he gives you is anger and violence. It doesn't matter how sweet he might be in between, it is all erased by his violence.

    You need to leave this relationship immediately, before you become a prisoner to him and you end up in hospital or worse.

  • If he refuses to understand that his actions are morally wrong (especially when he himself requested for the waking), remind him that his actions are (if your current country of residence' law is similar enough to U. S. law) illegal, under the charges of assault & battery (esp. domestic violence and/or violence against women).

    You might want to find a backup dwelling place, or you will be completely at the mercy of his violence-prone whims. From the information provided, your safety and his mental soundness seems questionable. Get help. For your safety, please realize you are a victim of domestic violence and seek assistance from a support group (even an online one) relevant to your country (and/or your country country of residence's). They can help you far better than I can.

  • What the fuck you mean you feel safer living with guy who feels no remorse choking you now and then?

  • leave him before that maniac kills you

  • you need to get some help and get out of the relationship as soon as possible and get police involved


What Girls Said 0

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