Men, why would he act so keen and then ignore me?

So I'll try to keep this short. I was seeing someone over the summer, it was intense at first and he was always mushy with me, telling me I was beautiful and he missed me, introducing me to his friends, making plans for future dates etc. He stood me up by mistake, I was angry, he promised to make it up to me... and he didn't. So that was it.

But I bumped into him recently on a night out. He started being all mushy again and apologised for us stopping talking, he said he thought he'd messed up bad and that I hated him. We started kissing and being all couply, he bought all my drinks and was being soppy all night, saying he couldn't believe he almost lost the most amazing girl he's ever met, etc. I stayed over (we just cuddled), and in the morning he was mushy again, and he said he wanted something special, and he'd take me out at the end of the week.

So I messaged him a couple of days later to give him my number. He accepted my friend request on fb, but didn't get in touch at all. He liked my status the other day too, but that's it.

Why would he act like we were getting back together, and then ignore me? Also I know I sound naive saying this, but he sounded so genuine, it really felt like he meant the things he said, and it also matched up to things that happened (as if he was telling the truth).

It can't be for sex for a few reasons:
1. I told him straight away no sex. And again when we went back to his.
2. He didn't try anything in bed, we just talked, kissed and cuddled.
3. He pulls girls all the time (I know he has been while we were apart). He could easily have left me alone and pulled someone else.

But surely he's not still nervous because:
1. I told him I don't hate him.
2. I was happy to see him, and said yes when he asked if I'd like to go out.
3. I messaged him with my number.

I mean maybe he just changed his mind. I know he has lots of fun being single.

I just don't understand why he would be so mushy (he'd already pulled me, and I wasn't being mushy with him, so he didn't need to, if he didn't mean it. Are men really that good at lying? Or did he just change his mind?

And if he was going to ignore me, why not ignore me completely? Why add me as a friend and like my status?

I realise it's definitely over now and he's not interested, but any insight would be really appreciated.

I'm quite confused.

Thanks :)
Thanks guys.

Anyone else got an opinion too please? Ta
Bumping to see if I can get more answers, thanks :)


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds likes he's busy pulling other women and doesn't habe time for you
    Or he thought maybe you'd reconsider sex that night so he went with it cuz you were a sure thing as soon as you began to make out.
    Just press delete on this dude. Move on and end all contact.

    • Thanks for replying.

      Yeah I thought he's probably enjoying the single life too much.

      But surely it would have been much easier for him to just pull someone else? Also his online dating profile says he's not just looking for sex and wants something more, he also said that to me on that night. Would he lie to that extent?

      I did delete him a while ago, I'm mostly over him now, but I do still find his behaviour odd so I thought I'd bump seeing as they reopened the question.

    • Show All
    • Yeah, you have made things a bit clearer, thanks :)

      That would make sense with how he was. I did get the feeling he did like me, probably just not enough though. It's a shame as we had a lot of potential, but these things happen. I've heard men say they did the same and regretted it years later, so maybe it's a common situation.

      It's funny but he said a similar thing, he said he was tired of meeting immature silly girls and liked older women.

      Thanks for the answers, it's really helpful.

    • Well im glad I could clear some things up for you! 😊

      I'm 99.99% sure he liked you. I think it may look like you did have a lot of potential but I think they other part of him not committin let's say is he needs to find himself in a sense and what he wants from life. So its a good thing you didn't get serious cuz he may realize in a year he doesn't want to be in a relationship again. So just look at it as a good thing. I think your correct about that.

      Hahah yeah I think you get about my age as a man and start to realize I am not putting up with that. Dont get me wrong there are a lot of younger, drama free, mature women who know what they want too.

      Hey anytime! If you have any more questions or just wanna talk, feel free to message me on here!

  • Sounds like he can't make up His mind.

    • Thanks, never really thought of that. I always know what I want so I'd never think of it.

    • He may also be stringing you along and messing with you. Just don't let him torment you, give up on any chances of getting back with him, he's obviously immature and can't just make a clean break. Some guys can be like that, just don't let get to you. Do u show any signs that you might want to get back with him?

    • Well I didn't until we bumped into each other. And then he was being the mushy one, I was happy to be with him but I mostly just responded to what he said. Thanks.

What Girls Said 1

  • He changed his mind and he's not sure what he wants. Lots of people are exactly like that. He values his own freedom, but he also enjoys the emotional connection you share.

    • Thanks, that does make sense in a way.

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