Is it bad to expect a lot in a relationship?

I'm curious...

The past 3 guys I've put myself emotionally in all left me saying I expected too much.

Honestly maybe I do, but I have a HIGH patience level. I tolerate A LOT.

Sometimes I can get annoying with like maybe texting or talking on the phone but I know when to back off when I'm being too much. Is it wrong to expect too much in a relationship or should you if you're investing time and your body to someone? I know I'm not married to the person but I refuse to be treated like a toy as well.

For example: My ex and I dated for a month. He dumped me twice within the 2 months I've known him. He stopped taking me on dates after asking me to be his girlfriend and stopped texting and talking on the phone with me as much as he did when we were "dating". We used to fall asleep on the phone sometimes and just text during the day. He never picked me up for dates either. Is that considered asking too much if you want your bf/ girlfriend to continue doing the lovey stuff in the beginning? I understand a year later that may be too much but its like the cute stuff died down fast and I got bored/sad/insecure.

  • I expect a lot in the beginning of the relationship ( 1 month- 6 months)
  • I dont expect a lot in the beginning
  • I expect a lot later in the relationship ( 1 year + dating)
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What Guys Said 3

  • I don't think you're expecting a lot, but if you guys are constantly in touch with one another either texting or are on the phone, you guys will tire each other out. But you wanting him to take you on dates is not a big deal, but again if you're always in touch, it can be too much. I'm not sure why he dumped you twice in a month tho, that just says he jumps to conclusions and makes rash decisions. I say he jumps to conclusions because you guys obviously got back together, and he regretted he previous decision. Some people do that as a form of punishment, it's just taking something away from you. If I don't make sense let know, I'll explain it differently.

    • I think I understand. He regretted at first but then he came back. But then I got worse trying to make it better and he broke up with me again and said it was a mistake. I don't know. He said I had to earn his effort again but I've never cheated,.. I only asked about his intentions and why he treated me so bad/ was he cheating because he was so distant and rude. He also ended up giving me a STD and he was my first. It was like he truly hated me.

  • It it bad to expect a lot in a plant? A plant is like your relationship. It's life, it's love, it gives you fucking oxygen. So what are you gonna do if the plant turn outs to be the plant you didn't want? Allow to be the person who's in the present. Water your plant. Grow the relationship.

    • Which I did. I patiently waited for him.
      That's what I wanted on the inside but I never said anything.
      I accepted the way he did things at first but it was starting to drain me and make me feel sick inside. This guy was always angry, always drunk, always at bars, had multiple ex- gfs, blamed me because I was insecure and didn't now how a relationship worked because he was my first boyfriend.

    • Next time say something, it's better to step forward and find yourself in a new situation. Plant the new plant be your hero be there for him. Then you'll find peace.. Lol I don't know just look forward next time

  • The lovey stuff hasn't died. I love seeing her smile. Things have only gotten better.

    Gurl don't settle for less. Wait for someone that will put in the effort. Of course if you find him you must do the same. Good luck


What Girls Said 0

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