What can I do if it feels like my girlfriend doesn't want to hold a conversation or ask about me anymore?

So I've been dating m girlfriend for about a month, and I am her first ever 'proper' boyfriend as such. Recently I've noticed that she has changed in the way she speaks to me over text/phone, and at the moment I feel as though I am initiating and organising everything. I just noticed that she has stopped asking me how I am, or what I am doing etc., even if I ask her first. It is making it extremely difficult for me to hold a conversation with her and just feels to me as though she doesn't want to talk, catchup etc.
Now I'm not a clingy guy, and it has been 4 years since my last relationship, I understand space and have been doing my best in that aspect, however I am a chronic over-thinker and the little things just screw with my head.
I have asked her whether she is alright, told her about how i think etc., and she is telling me that its all fine and to chill (which is accurate since I'm overthinking everything). And I believe her.
I trust her and in what she is saying, but I still can't help but think that I am doing something wrong and so forth.
My question is about whether I am most likely overthinking it (as usual) and what I can do to fix or deal with me overthinking things?, or if there may be an underlying issue, and what can my steps be in order to work around this situation?



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What Girls Said 2

  • You have to differentiate between a normal relationship and a abnormal one. A normal one has 2 active partners, talking to each other and definitely asking the other about how they are doing. I cannot imagine a relationship functioning without basic communication which she seems to not even get right. You are not overthinking it. From the looks of it, she is losing interest and is either too unsure of whether to break up or stick around and in the mean time she is getting by with half assing it and making you do all the work and effort (which is once again absolutely not normal for any healthy relationship).

    You need to talk to her in person and say you are not happy with the way things are and that you need to work on the issues. If she can't, then you know she isn't the right girl for you and that you need and deserve someone who wants to talk to you (a lot) and wants to hang out.

  • things can't change like that all of a sudden tho... there might be something that cause that sudden change in her... is she mad at you? or are you having time to talk to her and stuff?

    • Not that I am aware of. It has only sprung up at the start of this week and has continued all the way through.
      We talk fairly regularly, and catch up too, but I'm really the only one making decisions which sucks.

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    • Good idea.
      I feel as though this may be me overthinking it 90% of the time, however if there is anything else then that will help.
      Thankyou :)

    • you're welcomed an i wish you the best in your relationship

What Guys Said 1

  • Ok, I hope this doesn't offend you because it is not my intent. But she has lost the interest she initially had, which was probably not that much. The beginning of a relationship is NO time to overthink. This is usually the time where the girl is doing all of the great things for her guy! There is nothing wrong with overthinking, but in this case I would suggest ceasing communication until she responds in a "loving" way.

    • How would you suggest by ceasing communication? And what kind of response?

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    • Do you want to keep chasing a girl that is already your girlfriend? I honestly have only seen your side of the relationship..

    • Hmm true.
      That's the only downside. Thankyou though :)

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