Do you truly believe a spark in a relationship really goes away?

I honestly do not believe it does.
If I literally choose someone and invest my time and body into them, I don't expect it to be easy.
I know there will be times where I won't want to be around them and someone else will catch my eye.
At the end of the day, I wouldn't go into a relationship with that person if I'm unsure.
People throw around love so easily and end things/ don't take their time or keep the mystery alive.
I rememeber my ex said he lost the spark twice within two months of dating me which I find are excuses and a waste of time. If you do not want the same thing as the other person then don't enter a relationship. Like dating shouldn't be hard but people complicate things and hearts get broken everywhere. It's so annoying. -__-

  • I believe it doesn't
    Vote A
  • I believe it does
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, you're 22. It's easy for you to say that the spark doesn't go away. The fact is, if you got into a relationship today and you're the same person 10 years from now that you are today, then something is very, very wrong. You're constantly growing and changing and sometimes that means that a relationship that worked for you at 22 no longer works for you at 32. Hopefully, the whole thing evolves and changes together, but sometimes it diverges instead and to me, that makes sense that that could happen. I don't believe that all people who have had failed relationships are guilty of just making excuses and I certainly don't blame a young person for making a mistake on a relationship.

    • Absolutely. I agree that we are constantly growing and changing as a person.
      But what does that have to do with love?
      I will grow professionally and there will always be new and exciting things.
      However, If I choose someone I'm sticking with them.
      Even when they grow and change as well. It's called adapting.
      I mean you're older so you experienced it more than I have but I don't know thats what I believe.
      I believe we make mistakes definitely. I made a mistake with my ex. We were obviously looking for completely different things. He treated me like dirt... Like literal dirt. He even gave me something that will remember him for a lifetime and it will affect me for the rest of my life. I view him in a bad light, but I still love him in a caring way. Like the person above, I believe in nurturing and growing/adapting to the changes. *shrug*

Most Helpful Girl

  • sort of
    but that doesn't mean that the relationship is over.

    There is a difference between the spark going away, and losing interest all together.

    The latter is mostly true for people who picks partner based on looks only, etc.
    So once they get used to the face, and gets to see the person for who he or she is, they lose interest. And in that case, they don't really wanna put in any effort, 'cause the whole thing was just merely for dating but not for a serious relationship

    as for the first, when two people are in a serious relationship, knows they will be together, etc and then the spark they had at the beginning of the relationship fades, they don't lost all their interest and says, "hmm let's call it quits," rather they are creative in their ways of trying to make the relationship bright again.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Of course it goes away, that's why they call it a spark


What Girls Said 1

  • No I don't, because I believe that love is an active choice that you nurture and feed with your feelings towards your S. O.. There are times when I don't get that flip flop putter patter love feeling for my guy like I used to everything I saw him, but I know without a doubt I love him; because I chose to, I made a comittment to him to love him. It's a reciprocal thing the more love I show him, the more he reflects that love back to me. Yeah, he still gives me that fluttery feeling most of the time I know he loves me the same way and intensity that I love him!

    • I agree. It could be a naive way of looking at love I guess like the person below states.
      But I'm all about sticking with one person and adapting/nurturing that love.
      I've only been with one person throughout my 22 years so far. It wasn't even a long relationship either. I'm very picky and I don't want to go through 6-7 boyfriends at a time.
      My cousins been with her boyfriend for 13 years and she's the same age as me.
      She's getting married as well so I definitely believe in one man one love still.
      But in my case, I have to find man number 2 now and hopefully it stops there. lol

    • I don't believe that it's a naive view of love, love is all about comittment. I guess you took my answer in a simplistic way where most people mistakenly believe that love is that fluttery feeling; I truly don't believe that, love is an action, a choice a commitment towards your S. O.. I think that fluttery feeling is more like attraction, it goes away with time to an extent. That is replaced by choice, his and yours to love each other no matter what. I believe it's a choice, when you look at couples who felt "love at first sight" (rare), arranged marriages where years later they were madly totally in love with eachother, why? I believe they chose to be in and stay in love with eachother. Think of how much better it would be if they started out being in love from the start and chose to love and commit to the other with the same intensity and level of comittment. That's where I'm coming from, if I hadn't felt that way I wouldn't have married my guy in the first place!

    • @irexxana I believe you have a healthy understanding and view of what love is, I think we're both saying the exact same thing. I've known my guy (husband) since I was five years old, we grew up together on the same street! He is my B. F. F.! We were absolute best friends growing up, so I think we started on a great foundation. We've only been with eachother, first everything! We both believe in forever love, commitment!

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