Ladies, have you ever considered that instead of looking for "The One", why not try to become the One?

This is a question that spun off a recent Take of mine.
Ladies you spend your time looking for Mr Right, but turning down a lot of people that COULD have been Mr Right. Ok, agreeing with my friend RJGraveyTrain, im not saying accept everybody or throw yourself around (even though thats the most efficient way lol, law of averages), but have you ever thought about, instead of searching, why not just set yourself up and let Mr Right find you?
To explain further, its not news that women always know what they "want", and I've said, "but they dont know what to give"...
Case in point, be the kind of woman to attract the right kind of guy... i mean, if you dress like a stereotypical whore, dont be expecting a Lawyer or something, and if you have a bitchy nasty attitude, dont expect a gentleman, the list goes on.
Why not try to become "The One"... rather than search?
Oh @RJGraveyTrain AND @kellyg83 , oh and @redeyemindtricks
yes, i know two of you are already in happy relationships, probably by using the above mentioned method, just wanted you ladies to pass down some words of wisdom. lord knows a LOT of females need their eyes open.

A lot of women seem to think that im saying CHANGE yourselves... before i come to that, no, im saying BE yourself... and the kind of man you NEED (not want) will find you. funny thing is you ladies always want... over half never consider what you need. Let me tell you something about choosing a man, you might choose him, but dont forget, he didn't choose you. He might be right for you, but maybe you aren't right for him. He just went with the flow hoping.
Then he hears things like "Im going to be myself", "im not changing for anyone"... blah blah blah etc... Tell me something, especially to the females that have been cheated on and those that want marriage...
How the HELL is "Two shall become One" going to happen, when you refuse to change for someone you are with? Accept you for who you are right? but you try to change him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • 1|0
    • Except you're not as good at it

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    • @SummerNight it was quite the convo

Most Helpful Guy

  • 2|5
    • lol... and you got down voted.. meaning you are RIGHT

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    • Women cost money, time, energy, hard work, health all for what... Sex. The sooner men realise we don't NEED women for anything but sex the sooner dating will favour men. Just buy a model escort for a great raunchy time and then boom jackpot baby you got sex but not only that, you also got GOOD sex.

      I always thought money was the most important thing in life but I soon realised it wasn't. Time is the most precious thing we will ever have... and women are a big waste of time. Lol

    • @Mrwoo99 dude your first paragraph said the very same thing i said in my take
      the sooner men transcend the pussy, the sooner all this shit will be over and men will stop dying early just to get away.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 49

  • I did that in my opinion. Lol. I have always said that you can't expect what you won't give. I remained single for four years because I was busy working on the person I wanted to be, and I never went back into dating with any sense of entitlement either. I wasn't raised that way.

    • Im only 3 years into "bettering" myself, single as well... but unlike you... being a man whore.

      ok im kidding those days are done but I've had friends with benefits.

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    • @bedroomdweller Thanks so much, that means a lot to me and I have a lot of respect for that man.

    • I didn't get shit.. i was a protected kid, didn't know anything. and when i discovered girls, i got the pregnancy talk, that was it. didn't even know bout sex then lol. I read all the books i could find and when i finally tested it out, NOTHING i read worked. So i cleared the slate and tried different methods, slowly perfecting it until i eventually fell into being a player. a good one too. after damn near a decade of running through different girls, sometimes 2-5 at the same time, it wasn't fun anymore, so i did the one thing i hadn't done, commit. Lol.. turns out i should have practiced that. It was all good while i was using the wisdom i gained about girls, but when i showed my true self/character.. she Dumped my ass lol.
      Most of the stuff i write here, isn't speculation, I've actually LIVED it. So when someone says I don't know what im talking about, i just laugh.

  • What? lol
    I don't really understand the question. Why don't we try to become "The One"... **FOR WHOM**, exactly?

    Lemme make sure I got this straight:
    You're saying
    1 • If we conjure up some hypothetical Frankenboyfriend and then go out expecting to find that exact archetype... Not gna happen;
    2 • Instead, we should invent **another** hypothetical dude -- complete with hypothetical imperfections, hypothetical baggage, and the whole 9 hypothetical yards... and then try to invent what HIS "The One" would be... and then try to become that?


    Dude. No. #1 yes, but, #2 HELL to the no.

    I mean, life has trade-offs, but who the fuck knows which ones you'll have to make. Real live dudes are all gna have different types of imperfections and uniquenesses -- and those things will affect what "The One" is, for those dudes.
    There's NO WAY we could gauge that ahead of time. No way at all.
    I mean... I could run into Mr. Perfectly Imperfect someday, and... I might find that I'm out of the running just because I look like his abusive bitch of a mother. Or because he likes chicks who are 5'2" stacks of estrogenic curves, rather than long tall drinks of water like me. Or because he's a neat freak who doesn't like animals. Or or or or or I'm so over it who gives a fuck.


    This is how it works dude.

    ·····••••• STEP 1 •••••·····
    Figure out who YOU are, and what YOUR passions and values and motivations and favorite (and least favorite) things are.
    Find where YOU fit into the world.
    ••DO STUFF•• with yr life. Not just work, but, volunteering. Hobbies. Discoveries. Life hacks. Experiments.

    When you have a life that's FULL while you're still single af... you have completed step 1.

    (Part of step 1 is also figuring out what "full" even MEANS, for you. Some people are chillers, and for them "a full life" isn't objectively that full... but any more would stress them out. Other people, like me, are nothing but go go go go go do do do do do, and "unstructured time" just gets us into all kinds of trouble.)

    ·····••••• STEP 2 •••••·····

    Go out there and live yr life. Be fulfilled... even if you're still single af.

    ·····••••• STEP 3 •••••·····
    DO NOT "look" for a relationship or a complement.

    "Looking" is where it all goes to shit -- because then you're in same position as a company that has to hire someone by next Monday. You'll make BAD trade-offs, because you'll just take the "least bad" candidate, rather than saying fuck it for now because there aren't any

    • truly GOOD candidates.

      If you "look", you'll trade down. Don't trade down.

      If you really have a FULL life, you'll find that you become surrounded by other people who share yr values, and yr passions, and yr causes, and yr sense of purpose in life. Among these people, there will almost certainly be at least a few good candidates.

      ·····••••• STEP 4 •••••·····
      Be fucking REALISTIC about this shit.

      I know, I know. Such polite language.

      But, no, really. Do not hold everyone to the standard of Frankenboyfriend, because Frankenboyfriend does not exist.

      First, look in the damn mirror, and assess YOURSELF accurately.
      If you're honestly delusional about this -- like, if even yr own friends are like "Girl, still waiting for a prince from Monaco?" -- then go talk to a professional matchmaker about REALISTIC STANDARDS.
      If you don't like what they tell you, MAKE YOURSELF BETTER. Get hotter. Get in better shape. Go learn a craft or a skill or a new language. Introspect and learn about

    • YOURSELF, so that you can make better decisions about yr own happiness and fulfillment. Then revisit yr "standards" later.

      Also, consider the LONG-TERM ATTITUDE of prospective mates that you meet.
      If some dude is below par on a couple of things BUT HE'S WILLING TO WORK ON THEM -- both *for* you and *with* you -- then give him a chance.
      Like... if he has most of the fuck yeahs but he's out of shape, but he's INSPIRED by *your* fitness... Girl! Grab that boy and help him become HOT! And then keep him!
      Or, if you want to do the stay-home thing someday, and a dude's career hasn't gotten off the ground yet... Girl! Grab him now, and HELP him build his career! Be his support system! Be someone he TRUSTS... and you'll be the ONLY one he trusts when he *does* make it big!


      There you go. That's how it works.

      Last but not least, we all have to close doors in life. You can't keep all the doors open. Going through door no. 1 means NOT going through doors nos. 2 through N.
      Decide. Deal.

    • I had to update the question... seems like everyone thinks im saying they should change.

  • People get cheated on because of drama and their partner being immature. Even if she was the best she could be, that doesn't mean her partner is. He did choose her, otherwise they wouldn't be together.

    So... it sounds like what you're really saying is that since women can have options, why do they go for bad guys? So if they don't want evil guys then instead of going for the thrill they should look for stability?

    I could agree. But this comes off like you're jelly women have options. Like they can use their sex appeal to choose so that's why you say he didn't choose. He settled. But even though guys can't really use sex appeal, and I can get why guys would be jelly of that... that's no reason for why women should stop. Guys choose to respond to sex appeal...

    So. I think more people should communicate and be less dramatic or drama causing. Then lots of couples would work out.

    • "comes off like you're jelly", this had me rolling... cuz its TRUE!! we ARE jelly lol. But we always say that maybe its the reason that women can use sex appeal to get whatever, thats probably why many (if not most) are absolute morons when it comes to relationships. because when it comes to parts where brain or common sense is needed... they tank it BAD.

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    • Sex appeal doesn't mean he actually likes you or prioritizes you, but lots of women probably do think the guy wants them and will change at least partly because they're sexy.

    • And that moronic though is what gets them heartbroken. I've noticed more and more guys wanting intellectual women, intellectual, not educated. Just because you have 3 degrees doesn't mean you have intellect... just means you have 3 degrees.
      but guys are starting to want this... sadly, they only want this when they want to be serious... the rest of the time? its the same old story... we just wanna cut lol

  • I think this is a great idea for everyone. Why desire a successful partner when you can be successful? Why desire a fit partner when you could be fit? If it's attainable with hard work, why look to someone else to enjoy the benefits?

  • Of course I've always put in effort into making sure that I'm the best version of myself versus putting in a lot of time and energy into finding a guy who satisfies all of the items on my (imaginary) 'dream boyfriend' checklist. Even now, after I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years, I look at myself as a work in progress. Always trying to improve myself as a person not necessarily FOR him alone. But you can't really argue that being more open with issues that arise when they occur versus bottling them up and losing my temper on him as a result, or working on becoming a more patient person, are bad ways in which to evolve as an individual. :)

  • I agree with what your saying,. But I want to say something about something you mentioned in your comment. You will be surprised at how many professional men who are lawyers, doctors, etc go for females who dress revealing. And I have seen cases where these type of men will marry a female like that. So Its not necessarily how you dress or what you look like. But I do what you saying all in all.

    • Oh I've seen a lot myself as well. but those girls are just arm candy to them in most cases. These are the same people who end up divorcing her or cheating. Not saying it happens in all cases, but you rarely see a good looking guy of status with an average or less than average looking woman. In many of those cases, they get with those women to brighten their status, not because they like/love her.

  • During my late teens ( 19 ) and early 20's I decided to stay single and see what I needed changing.
    The main one was giving a guy a chance. I'm willing to admit that I will turn guys away that was young, I judged some guys and listen to others.
    I lost weight so I can have a nice shape
    I also showed that I had awesome personality and a sense of humor. Instead of being quite and acting like a turtle.
    Now I'm with a great guy that is 4 years younger than me and to some people he's considered wild and a " bad boy " but I didn't listen to them and I'm glad because he treats me so well and respects me a lot.
    The old me would of ignored him, judged him, and listened to people that said bad things.
    So I'm glad that I changed my ways.

    • * and made sure I can " be the one " for a guy.
      I also did the asking out instead of waiting
      When I first met my boyfriend he thought I would be to good for him, so he thought we will end up being friends. He was really happy when I asked him out and told him how I felt about him.

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    • oh ok I thought you did that for men.

    • @LoloWaye who said THEY left? 😊

  • first, just let me say that i don't bother searching. i see no reason to at this present time, because i don't live in a place where i am prepared to accept anyone. also, my metal stability, financial situation, living situation, etc. are not suitable for marrying or being involved with anyone. i am trying to get right with myself first, because i believe in putting my best foot forward, particularly, when it comes to mental stability.

    • If I had a dollar for every girl that said she was mentally unstable 🤑

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    • get my mind right yes. because you cannot love someone else without having a stable mind. however, you should never, ever "get your body right" for anyone other than yourself. the reason i know that, is because i've been there. and then when it blew up in my face, i felt like the biggest moron on the planet. "getting your body right" is for you, and you only.

    • I didn't say for anyone else... just get it right. and right is what you decide.

  • Yes... and it doesn't help as much as you'd think.

    I have spent years slowly sculpting myself into what someone might consider a "perfect partner": I am 5ft, have a curvy, athletic build; I'm into art and love intellectual conversations (I HIGHLY value knowledge and intelligence); I love exploring and learning about new things; I've been told by nearly every person I've been acquainted with that I am easy to talk to (I have had strangers tell me secrets); I dress modestly (classy over trashy); and yet I know how to strip, enjoy BDSM, have a very high sex drive, and am willing to explore more; and have an over arching desire to make a difference in another person's life.

    I'm not trying to be an arrogant conceited ass, but I will be honest—sculpting myself to be "The One", has ultimately made me lose sight of what I want, because I was too busy becoming what they'd want. And it has MADE me an arrogant, conceited ass...

    • It's better to focus on becoming what YOU would want out of a partner and friend. Then you will be happier because you'll love the person you are, whether you're single or not, and it will be easier to attract the type of people who value the same things you do.

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    • Lol, if that makes sense. I will continually move in that direction to be more of myself... but it is a fine line to balance.

    • @NexAngelus Yes sir, yes!!! intellect... ugh.. i forgot to mention that. that is something that girls dont attribute to their relationships... she could have 10 degrees under her belt and be an absolute moron in relationships because women tend not to use their brains in relationships, they prefer to feel, to use emotions... and emotions have been known to make things go boom.

  • That's exactly what I did and it worked!

    I asked myself what kind of man I wanted in my life and then what kind of woman a man that great would want... and strived to become it. I can't promise consistent results across the board for others... but I can say it worked for me personally.

    • congratulations... maybe you can spread that experience to the morons we are breeding in my generation lol

    • I'm only 3 years older!

    • I believe there are generation cut offs... at least there used to be until some people started having kids at 13 and shit. I know people whose older SIBLINGS are farther apart than that.
      That generation line is getting blurred.

  • So you're saying all women who are single need to change to find a man?

    • you read the update right? the one that said NO need to change, just get yourself together. Eventually though, there would HAVE to be change.

    • Then I don't understand the purpose of this at all?

    • its the preliminary aspect... the attraction. many chase... im saying let em come to you.

  • I do try to be the best that I can, but I do search for the "one". Certain men could like my type, but they aren't necessarily the type of guys I could see myself w/. I'm not going to make myself a certain person for that one guy, I'm doing it for myself, I'm also not going to change myself for someone else, what you see is what you get.

    • Im seeing a lot of this... and you ladies seem to be missing the point... im saying be yourself. Not change for someone. Be who you are to attract who you want.

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    • Many men aren't the best at judgement either, its not only women, everyone can have poor taste. How is it bad if a woman says some guys are a waste of her time? I have gone out on dates w/guys and not only was I not attracted tot them, I did not see a future w/them. I'm not going to force something that isn't there just so that I don't reject a guy. Not all women get beat by men because they do not let that kind of stuff happen, if we go w/your generalizations, then all women in a relationship are being beaten by men. Men get abused too and they allow women to beat them up.

    • oh i know all too well about the abusers... almost all women are verbal abusers and I've been with a couple physical ones. I agree men aren't the best in judgement either but you have to understand the way this works. Because the system is different. Guys play the law of averages... they can hit on 5 girls with success (probably after being shot down but 8 more) then slowly narrow it down to one that they ask out. So character judgement doesn't apply until Later.
      Girls dont play the law of averages, they dont go out with 10 guys that approached and slowly narrow it to one (which will be smart but this is women we are talking about here.. cmon)
      I mean the guy has already shown his interest... he approached... so get to know. and get to know the other one too... THEN you pick. but women just flick like its Tinder or something. Just because "he doesn't SEEM/FEEL right". The fuck would she know right? women prefer to want, THEN change.. which is stupid frankly.

  • Very interesting and I agree with it but it should go both ways, always match 100% + 100% to become one (especially for marriage the one)
    My question is, what does man want? Help some of us here who want to know, who wants to be the best & get the best, be her mans best... How show became the better women to meet the better man? What should we the women do? Also it's not just to find the man it's to keep the man, any suggestions, answers?

    • Oh i have a lot of answers for that... and its 50%+50% to become 1 (100%)
      The job is really not that hard for women, but due to their nature.. they fuck things up in relationships, thats why a Man is needed... not just someone with a penis... a Man. For a woman to be the best she can be... she has to have a decent respect for gender roles...(aye, dont tell me, im just talking out of facts here) because women these days tend to want things, but dont want to earn it. and guys like me... we push that in their face every... time.. we.. get.. a.. chance. and thats why we are hated in the female community. my woman will not emasculate me in private, then in public wants me to be a "man" and defend her "honor" (happened once before lol :) ) no... i told that bitch to go fuck herself... she didn't want a man, didn't treat me like a man, she ain't getting a man.
      I have very different ways of dealing with females and males (but they ALL work)... i will answer any question you have. PM me.

  • Oh, Im already amazing :p

    "The one" isn't a perfect person. The one is a person who fits perfectly with me. Of course I work on being a better person overall, but I know many amazing guys who just aren't compatible with me. The trick is to find that one person who completes you and who you can do the same for, who feels like your other half :)

    • compatible, key word. With that kind of mentality i believe you ARE an amazing person.

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    • I think Im more modern and would like my partner to think the same. To each their own, variety makes us interesting :)

    • Thats true... thats why i tell moronic girls to stop trying to change guys... one of the lines im tired of hearing is, "you are not who i thought you were"... in my head, i always go "DUH, you've been trying to change the person you were attracted to from Day effin 1"
      I'll change for someone who will change for me, period. Any moron that tells me "accept me for me"... will have to accept me for me too or buzz off.
      Tit for tat, give and take, thats the came...50/50... i have plans for my next relationship and it ain't pretty, but i would like that to be the last... i mean, im nearing like 60 count.

  • Your delivery could use work, but I actually agree with you. Which is saying something. But it is always healthy to step back and check yourself every once in awhile. Reevaluate. Make some changes. And this is coming from someone that is not a fan of change. I'm all about routine. Comfort zones are my best friends. But I'm learning that some change is healthy. And it doesn't even necessarily have to be a huge change. Often times it's the subtle changes that have the most impact. So yeah, I get it. I will say though, that you shouldn't have singled females out here. This goes for guys too.

    • It definitely does go for guys except every guy (the smart ones) know very well that women go for men who have got it together, so they already do this. I singled out females because a majority of them dont. They want want want... but dont really focus on what they have to give.
      And yea, I've been told my delivery needs work... honestly, i think i sugar coated a little.

    • If you say so.

  • Cause im not changing for a guy.

    • It's funny cause girls try to change the guy there with

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    • If you look at successful bachelors or playboys like Dan Bilzerian, Travis Beynon, Leonardo DiCaprio you will know where I am coming from. None of these men choose to commit to one woman because they are most happy when having sex with hundreds of gorgeous women daily than having sex with one woman for all their life. Men are biologically programmed to fuck quantity which is what makes majority of men happiest. If you did a survey asking 1000 men in your city if they would rather if had the choice... be with one average woman for the rest of his life or instead have abundance of beautiful females to choose from and have sex with for all his life, 99% of all men dream about having Dan Bilzerian's life. The main reason men end up with one woman is because women shame men who even consider thinking about sleeping with women or being a playboy because its how women try and control men and especially alpha males that women want commitment from.

    • @Mrwoo99 or... OR you can be with one woman who wants it just as bad and is willing to include another from time to time. I'll take that.
      Remember you said sex is emotional for women? so when you fuck one and its real good and she likes it, she begins to catch feelings (trust me, seen it more times than i'd like) now can you imagine having those many girls blowing up your phone or whatever, talking about feelings? hell no im not down with that.

  • I think it is a matter of becoming yourself, and being happy with yourself. Then, eventually, it will lead to someone being drawn to your awesome self. Basically, positivity draws in positivity. Hope that is somewhat helpful?

    • No, that's exactly not it. A lot of women think that is the key but this myTake is about how that's not true. Mr Perfect isn't just chilling and "being himself", he is the best version of himself: he hits the gym even when he's tired and wants to sleep in, he works towards his ambitions even when the work gets boring and tedious, etc... and the more he becomes Mr. Perfect the more his own standards for what he's looking for in Mrs. Perfect will increase. So basically the key is to hold yourself to the same standards you hold Mr. Perfect to.

    • @JohnDoe3000 y'all both right.

  • I think if you have some pretty strong negative traits you should try to improve and change, however still remain true to yourself because the right guy will like you for you.

    • but it the right guy who he really is or is he just trying to be what you want him to be so later you can find out you don't like him?

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    • yeah but she lied lol

    • @dedguy I dont know man, but i can believe it. I think its more the fact that she hit on him or something and he turned her down because he had options and she's pretty but not like some of the others.

  • No I just want to be myself... I'm sure I'm the one for somebody

  • I don't look, I just do my own thing and let people come to me. Tbh I don't know what I have to give to someone I'm a student who lives with her mom, not financially stable yet (getting better at saving though), not looking for my own home, etc, just trying to set some foundation for the future. All I have to offer is companionship, time, all that.

    In another comment you mentioned women go for what they want and not need. Yeah I definitely don't know what I need from a man at this point either.

    Just do you and be your best and someone will come along and be their best for you.

    • It not that serious some girls just want the D and they'll be straight

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    • @Tdieseler Many women will say what they want but expect you not to come at then because hey, you're a man and you're supposed to be able to take that. But if the tables are reversed then it's wrong, you hate women, blah. So I don't blame you or hate you for it because that's wrong. I've seen men take a lot of ish because of this and it makes me sad.

    • Girl, its the pussy... its the pussy. Men have died for the pussy lol. And you just described the second half of that phrase by the way.

  • I think it's generally a good rule of thumb to be what you are trying to attract whether you're male or female, gay or straight, or anything else. It's ludicrous to expect to find someone who meets standards that you don't meet yourself.

    • And i see/hear of a LOT of them, mostly females. Because the males can state what they want, but will settle for what they can get, but the females... its gotta be down to the T. If she had 10 things, by Zeus he better have those 10... even though he has 20 and that next 10 all bad.
      She will just take the 10 she can see, then start to cry/bitch later on when the other 10 negatives begin to bleed in...

    • I can see that you're kind of bitter...

      Perhaps if those are the type of women you keep coming across you need to be a bit more discerning in your choices.

    • Hehehe, if i had a nickel for every time a female told me that. Im sorry, but i dont know how to sugarcoat. cover a turd with sprinkles but its still a turd. and the way many females these days think... is "turd-ish"... to the point where i just stopped dealing with them. can't... the only time i go for a girl is when there's an end game. because if i decided to take the top off, she'll ruin it all. yes, i said she.

  • I think women and men should just be themselves do what makes them happy and stop looking for someone

    • looking for someone TO make them happy.

    • You don't need another person to make you happy. Sure it's great when you have someone there but it's not a requirement for happiness. You know what the easiest way to attract someone is? Being happy.

    • Hell yea... cuz then people want in.

  • Yes, oddly enough.

    I am who I am and if it's meant to be, it'll be.

    - Nice question though.

  • there is someone right for me when I'm right for them. it's a two-way street. I have no delusional thoughts of a perfect man. just perfect for me.

    • ... oooook, but how would they be perfect for YOU, if its a two way street? it means you would have to be perfect for them as well...

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    • I'm sorry that happened to you. Try to not be so bitter otherwise you'll just attract more of the same.

    • ok.. I've had it... what do YOU think is the definition of "bitter"?
      You women just sling that word around like its nothing... im not bitter.. not even close... im careful. Because you women tend to flip on a dime. one sec its "i love you"... next its "im leaving"... im careful.. i wait, i bide my time and i watch for warning signs... if that makes me "bitter"... i'll take it. I'll rather be that, than let some bitch screw me over. Women want men to open up to them... they just dont tell us that it leaves us open for that dagger when she wants to shove it in...
      Bitter is a word (one of numerous) that women use to attack the male ego, in this stupid campaign to make us bow to em... just like saying "small dick" lol... women dont like smart guys that can call em out.

      son of a bitch lol... maybe i AM bitter... oh well... better safe than sorry lol

  • Yes it's always good to have a bit of self reflection. For both men and women. The goal isn't to be perfect but to correct our mistakes when we make them and the only way to do that is to take a step back and look at ourselves from another persons perspective

    • Yea... because thats what women are good at...
      admitting they make mistakes and oh... oh.. even better trying to correct them..
      apparently.. you haven't seen my generation and the one slightly below... i have to keep my player half as a guard dog or one of these females will slip... you might think it, but you are older.. you are in my generation... but these new morons are not.

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    • Sorry, that came across a bit too defensive, I didn't mean to be. Anyhooo yeah as I said we're not all the same and not all in the same way either. I would never ever have sex again if I put all men in the same basket

    • oh yea, it was... and apparently you stated why right after...
      speaking of which... i'd love to hear that story if you dont mind... because if i put all women in the same basket... sex would be the least of my problems.
      You can PM me with the story... or put it out here (lord knows i wouldnt) if you want.

  • I am the ONE.

  • What If I am my own soulmate?

  • Okay trying to pick apart your question may take a bit let me see if I get this right. I don’t believe there is just one person out there that specifically is made for me. I have had relationships with very different people. And I have adjusted myself and my lifestyle to better fit with their and vice versa. Not changed, adjusted. I believe a certain person comes into your life for you to learn and grow and if you can do that together the relationship will have a better chance of working out. If you cannot seem to agree upon life choice and the direction you want to go then you part ways. Learning what you can and cannot deal with from another person.

    • I wouldn’t say I’ve actively searched for a SO, but when I come across someone I’m interested in I have no reservations in pursuing what I want instead of waiting for them to make the first move. At my age most men don’t know how to initiate a relationship beyond casual dating or just sex which I could say for women as well. (Personally guilty at some point or other).
      I do consider myself to be genuine, loving, and very open to everyone I meet whether it’s for a friendship or more. I seem to more often than not attract people who are damaged (for lack of a better word) and in search of love and affection, and i tend to give that to them. I have a healing personality I care for them I show them what it’s like to be really loved by someone. But once they have gotten their fill of me they change. They are healed so to say and think they don’t need it anymore. What I have taken from those experiences is that I NEED not want, someone who has the same loving healing nature as I do.

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    • See that’s exactly my problem I’ve given too much. How do you find that balance? Give as much as they do? I’m not a half assed person I don't know how to only give a little. It’s all or nothin lol

    • my technique? i just mirror people. If you come off nice to me the first time you meet me... then guess what? i'll be nice. You come off as a douche... hahahaha, then you are just in my zone... and i'll just out-douche you.

  • Why only ladies? We should ALL be improving ourselves.

    • Oh it applies to guys to. its just that ratio wise, many guys go off to improve themselves because girls tend to throw themselves at successful guys, but women, rather than improve on themselves, either throw themselves at someone successful,
      or want whom ever they meet to just give em everything while they do Nothing.

  • Well 99.9% of the time we think we r the one for them and they are the one for us but, hey that's just me talking...🙃

    • common mistake... narcissistic talking mixed with greed.

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    • thats awesome... well try not to change that. I've dated a couple girls that could "hang with the guys" it was an awesome feeling. plus, you can't get cheated on lol...

    • Yep😂

  • More from Girls

What Guys Said 22

  • 1|1
  • Why would women even 'want' to be the one, when they are often asked out left and right, and offered relationships 'on a platter' by the choicest of men?

  • As my dad always said to me growing up,

    "Make yourself the 'catch'. You will attract more quality women, and YOU will be doing the picking!"

    Same goes for women as well. Make yourself the catch, and you will more quality men, and the pickier u can be.

    • seems like that flew RIGHT over most of these girls heads cuz apparently what they read was i said they should change for someone...

  • Blasphemy!

    Every woman, no matter how lazy, irresponsible, dumb, bitchy, ignorant, crazy, untrustworthy or fat, deserves a wealthy, devoted, chiseled, well-endowed, tall, cultured gentleman who should thank the gods for her putting up with him every day!

  • Exactly this. And not only women but men too. That's indeed the only way to find "the one", to become the one her/himself.

    • Men already do it... the intelligent ones anyway. thats why i geared this mostly to females.

    • I have to disagree. Very few people are truly confident. Men and women. But so does the "intelligent women" know this already.

    • but between men and women, which ones gain More confidence?

  • Just reading the pink section just demonstrates how whorish, toxic, self entitled, spoilt and greedy feminism has made women in west. An women complain why they're no good to men other than sex. I don't know why any decent man would want a women for relationship who's indoctrinated by feminism.

    Wake up fellas and go where traditionalism still exists and meet women who actually appreciate good caring loyal nice guys.

    • lol... see what we gotta deal with?

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    • A good seeing to *

    • Those morons that worship women? those are the bitch ass men im talking about. Listen to this funny story... actually it happened to a guy on here. He said he saw a guy slap his girl dead across the face and this dude said he punched the guy... now it gets funny...
      The dude Whooped His Ass... to the point that he had to be taken to the hospital with all kind of injuries and broken bones... i was dying laughing. So when my tears cleared up, i asked him "... and where is the girl now?" ... and he was like "She had walked off with her boyfriend after she pulled her boyfriend off of him"...
      then the tears came back for me. stupid ass white knights... this ain't sleeping beauty... and that is not the only story I've heard of too. some guys have actually been killed for doing that shit lol.

  • ^^^^

  • Well, we can say "don't judge a book by it's cover". But a lot of people do.

  • That's what I aim to be everyday... always my best self.

  • No dude. They have preferences, get over it. This whole take and your last one was code for "let me f*** you without working for it"

    • well men have preferences, but the morons keep on trying to change us. so.. what. and i dont write anything coded, im blunt. Extremely blunt. You thinking there's some kinda hidden message, there is only one... ironically its your username.

  • Excellent take. Spot on Tdieseler! It's clear to any guy out there that the ladies are the ones lacking when they do all the choosing but we still have a divorce rate around 50%...70% of which are initiated by the woman.

  • I do both. Look for the "someone just for me" as I try to become what she'd probably like.

    • its very sad when you already know what she wants and likes but she's nowhere near what you want or like.

  • Asking women to reflect inward is like asking a fish to recite poetry.

  • oooooo... calling women out for their BS.

  • Yeah that's what I try! Lol

  • I like that, turned it back on them haha

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    • Yeah I think they are the gatekeepers of not only sex, but of emotion etc. I concur on that point you just made.

      I think it's in most facets of life though. You'll find they want and try to keep guys who are good people, show them affection. Yet they keep them at arm's length and act so innocent around them. It's a bit confusing. They are their own enemy in a way.

      I look forward to your views/opinions on my two questions?

    • Can u check them out

  • Reading the girls comments should give you enough confirmation that girls have a self entitlement and lazy attitude. If only more guys would know their self worth. Lord knows I'm not jumping through hoops just to please some girl. I'll show interest, if she shows interest back then great. But she also has to prove to me she's worth getting into a relationship with.

    • Thats my attitude now. SHE has to do the hoop jumping. You know how many girls leave when they find this out... I've been known they are lazy and entitled, thats why i just fuck em and leave em... look at all of them saying they won't change for anyone... yet they want marriage.

    • It's all about BOTH matching each other's efforts

    • @Renae_85 lol... here you are again...
      I wish i knew who this anon was... me and him have the same mentality... willing to put in the effort, but if she's feeling too high... fuck that hoe.
      Why are you even posting anon... with that kinda attitude... put it all out there... join "the brothers"...

  • I think this applies to both genders but I think anyone should find themselves and never expect another person to complete us or rely on them for happiness. You should also never settle either.

    Having said that, sometimes the people we think are "the one" end up being the worst for us.

    • It does. but this was turned towards females because males do it already. But women dont and should start doing it more.

  • perfect quetion.

  • Young people always have sky high standards for dating, it's kinda stupid tbh,.
    Girls: I want a strong dominant yet sensitive, ambitious high earning man
    Guys: I want a hot model that's wife material

    Yet what's more stupid is that people with high standards have little to nothing to offer in return😂

  • Women thanks to social media and white knights all think their perfect 10/10 and if any guy says otherwise it's because he is a misogynist and can't handle them at their worse.

    This delusion is so strong and they don't want to break frame from it, that they will never approach, and wait for men to come to them.

    • thats why i break em down brother... thats why i break em down

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