So I've been dating my girlfriend for a year and a half now. Everything before this has been perfect. She's been the first person I've been with to open my eyes, and motivate me to be better. It's something I've always wanted in a relationship, but never got. I know that we feel the exact same way for each other, but I just found out she has a "crush" at her work. They been flirting, and talking a bit. They'll talk at work, and after work until they go to bed. She tells me not to worry, but my mind just tells me otherwise. I think my mind is just fucking with me. She's been switching her answer as well to that she has feelings for him, to that she doesn't, and back. It's confusing. I still let them talk and hang out. I'm not the type to control someone like that. I guess I'm just seeing if I'm overreacting, if this is natural, or if I should act on something. If you need more information, just let me know. Thanks!
Most Helpful Girl
People do get crushes in relationships, it's completely normal. However, their impact on the relationship varies from person to person. The worrisome part is that she changes her answer from liking him to not liking him. Crushes don't disappear over night and then reappear the next day, it's just not how they work.
I do get that she'd be embarrassed about it (who wouldn't?) but changing her answer is just too shady. If I were you, I'd go with my gut and confront her about it for once and for all. Tell her to stop playing games and be open about it. You may not like what she has to say, but would you rather be full of dread and pretend everything's okay?1
Most Helpful Guy
For sure you have right to be worried and concerned. Once she discloses she has confusing feelings, this where things start to cross the line and get serious. All it takes is a moment of weakness and those feelings can take over. Absolutely you should NOT be letting them "hang out" after work. Texting every night is fucking bull shit too!!! You are being a pussy and push-over. This is where "nice guys finish last" crap comes in! Sometimes you just have to put your foot down and take what is rightfully yours! Sitting back and just let things happens can easily lead to disaster! Innocent or not, people will naturally develop crushes so this when you need to up your game a notch or two and make it so she stays interested and focused on you. This is a delicate balancing act between being stern and being polite. If you are a dick about this, you'll only drive her into his arms. So this is the time to be the best boyfriend you can be. Tell her she needs to cut back a bit with this guy and at the same time get her some flowers and take her out for a nice date to solidify your position with her.2