How to make sure it's a date and not just as friends?

Hey everyone. I recently met a girl online about two weeks and we clicked really well, so I asked for her number. We have met each other in person twice so far. First we went ice skating together on Friday afternoon, which went really well and we had a lot of fun. She had offered to pay for her half, but I insisted on paying for both of us. Towards the end of our time doing that, we held hands for a little bit as we skated along the ice. Then on Sunday afternoon we met up at Disneyland, since we both have annual passes, and hung out there for a few hours. Now we are planning on going dancing together at a club this coming Friday night, since she's never been to a club before. Every time we've met, it's just been us one-on-one. The thing is, we haven't called any of these interactions "dates" -- we have not kissed or anything beyond just hugs and holding hands, though she does apply chapstick frequently if that means anything.

We have talked on the phone for about an hour almost every night since I got her number. We text each other frequently, and she will often send me texts in the morning saying "good morning" or "have a great day" and things like that. I have told her that I really enjoy spending time with her, and she said she does too. Also she frequently alludes to future activities with her. So I'm getting the vibes that she likes me, but I'm still not 100% certain if she thinks we're just friends or if she is actually interested in seriously dating me.

How can I let her know that I want it to be an official date when we go clubbing together on Friday night, versus just going as friends? I get along really well with this girl and like her a lot, I just don't want to mess things up and scare her off! I'm 20, she's 18, and we're both in college if that helps.

Alright so the date went well! We held hands everywhere and kissed in the club. We both plan on seeing each other again soon. Thanks for the advice everyone!


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's good that you are already holding hands together. If your meeting her somewhere that is away from the club I want you to grab her had and walk with her holding hands all the way to the club. Holding hands while ice skating is good but could still be something that friends do but if you hold her hand in general its a good indication that you like her.

    Also, this is something that might happon, you made a date for this club. What some girls might do is bring their friend along. DONT put up with it, take her aside and say something like "Listen, I thought that I made it clear that this was a time I wanted to spend just with YOU, but if I wasn't clear I'm sorry, how about we hang out some other time when we won't be interrupted..." and get ready to leave, make other plans. Here is when she might or might not say that she sees you as a friend, if she says she sees you as a friend make sure to tell her firmly "Oh, because I liked you more than a friend, I have plenty of friends already and DONT need one more." then turn around and walk away.

    It might or might not happon but is something to look out for.

    Apart from that start to hold her hand everywhere you go and go for the kiss as soon as the opportunity comes along. Also read some of the stories in my profile and see if they might help

    • We haven't set up the details of how we'll get there yet, but I'm thinking of a place in Hollywood. It will take almost an hour to drive there, so in the interest of time, parking costs, etc. I'll see if she's comfortable with having me pick her up at her place and driving there together.

    • That's good, when you park the car just give her a big smile and take her by the hand then go wherever you need to go.

    • I'm picking her up and we're going out for dinner before we go to the club. It's a date.

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What Girls Said 1

  • oh my goodness, do I even have to say it? of course she likes you. of course they're dates. of course you should go for it! she's waiting for you to make the move. just kiss her. at least on the cheek if you're too nervous to go in for the real deal. they should be apparent enough for the both of you to move on from your "friends-that-talk-everyday-and-hold-hands" situation. go for it dude, if you wait too long, it'll be over before you know it.


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