Dating or hooking up

So I ask this guy that I have been dating, what he would call what we are/will be doing, like what would you call it, "dating" or "hooking up" he said "hooking up" we have been out 6/7times (no sex). He has a girlfriend of 10years and I have a boyfriend of 10yrs, we're both obviously not happy with our situations, we both live with them, ( I know, I know, it's complicated) anyhow last week he told me he didn't care about his relationship he said didn't care like 3 times, he also said I told her to find a boyfriend, I told him I didn't care anymore either, but we both agreed that we did not want to hurt our partners, ( but I guess that's not to say we wouldn't) so anyways after this conversation, 3 days later, I ask him what he would call what we are doing/going to be and he says ( to my dismay) "hooking up" what is he saying? I told him that I have never been a hook up, won't be a hook up and that's not how I'm made, I said we would start to like each other (we already do) more and then what? I told him I'm sure he would have no problem finding someone to hook up with, wished him and his girlfriend well, he wished me well also with my situation, and then he said "I'll still call you to say Hi" I wanted to say what for? but let it go at that. So what is the difference between hooking up and dating, and why would he want to call and say Hi? Thoughts?

It's not me that doesn't want sex, I have said I want it and lets do it, no response from him, he has not made a move towards that ya know? Thoughts? and Thanks! ;)
Exactly, what I thought!


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What Guys Said 2

  • To be honest, I am not sure what the difference is. Both include sex though hooking up is generally thought of as one-off engagement while dating tends to be thought of as building toward a more regular relationship.

    I suspect he likes you but isn't interested in another dead end relationship. To keep this fresh and interesting, he is keeping it at a friendly level. This might not be what you are looking for.

    I do have to wonder why you are dating if you aren't interested in having sex.

  • Damn, that is weird.

    That being the case, he might just want someone to talk / whine to. If that is what you want, cool. Otherwise, it sounds less than fun.


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