Texting. Great with his thumbs, useless with his mouth. Is it me?

I started dating this guy I used to work with shortly after I quit. He told me that he'd had feelings for me for a long time, but could never act on them while we worked together.

Anyway, we dated for several months and had a lot of fun. It was great, but just didn't seem to go anywhere. Ultimately the relationship, if you can call it that, slowly faded until it was clear we weren't doing "that" anymore. That was a year ago.

Since then, he has kept in touch by texting an emailing. Sometimes very frequently--as many as 70 texts back and forth in a single day (which I find ridiculous. If you have that much to say, call me!). Other times, we he'll go weeks or even a month without a word. The texts and emails also vary between being extremely flirty, even sexual, to super casual. It's confusing, man!

We've seen each other in person a few (5 or 6) times since we stopped dating and each time he gushes about how great I look and invariably sends me a text (after we go our separate ways, of course) to say that he misses me, he thinks about me, wants to see me more often. blah blah blah.

I'm trying to play the game, cause I am still interested. I'm friendly but not too friendly when I see him. I respond to his texts and emails with the same tone more or less that he uses (flirty or friendly). I think I've demonstrated pretty clearly that I could be persuaded to give him another chance without seeming overly desperate. (I don't respond to every text immediately, I don't initiate the emailing/ texting; when he asks me out on a date, I say yes if he gives me enough notice, and if he doesn't I let him know that I would. but I already have other plans).

Bottom line is I'm sick of the game. Is he interested or not?

I'd like to do this thing, but enough already. I'm bored playing games. I don't get how a guy can be so overtly flirty and say some of the things he's said, and then. NOTHING. When his thumbs are doing the talking, he's got game. but when he opens his mouth, nothing comes out. What gives?! Am I just being strung along in case all of his other options don't work out?

What should I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • There are a few scenarios that come to mind. One being that he has kept you on the back burner while another direction was taken, i.e. another girl. Two is that he's flat nervous when he sees you in person, and the texting is his way of gaging whether or not it's cool for him to contact you.

    Believing in the good of people, I'll say he's very nervous about things with you, and really holds you in high regard and does not want it to blow up. He might be wanting you to make a specific move so he doesn't feel like he's putting it all on the line.

    In my opinion, since you already seem interested in the idea, why don't you plan an in person meet, grab him by the hair and tell him that you'll start dating him again.

    Well.skip the hair pull, but be direct and put it across that if he wants a chance he too better be clear right now or forever hold his peace.

    Then you can counsel him on texting manners.



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