So I went out on a date with a girl?

and it went fine, but not physical contact, no hug, no kiss. I paid for it. In the end she suggested that we should meet again sometime. We talked on phone couple of time and had another date. This time she split the check. No hug no physical contact. But in the end she said "It was good hanging out again with you. I am available next Sunday, may be we should do something". Now I am confused. Is she just looking for friend? Should I call her to schedule a date on Sunday or I should just let her go. I am not interested in being just friends.

Additional Details

For second date she initially suggested to come and play cards with her at her place, but for some reason it got canceled and we ended up having a low key dinner.


Most Helpful Girl

  • huh...I'd say splitting the check, and trying to schedule things with friends are both obvious signs that she is trying to either

    1)put you in the "friend" category, or

    2)slow things down because she is not sure yet that she wants to date you, but she's also isn't sure that she doesn't, and she's just trying to buy time

    ...before you decide to let her go, you should at least tell her to her face that you're interested in more than friends, and if she's not, then bye. Don't just drift off. Because she might just be unused to a guy offering to pay dinner, and paying her special attention. She might just be uncomfortable being in the spotlight like that, and she is trying to move your relationship back into her comfort zone. She might truly be interested in more than friends, but unsure how to graciously recieve your obvious interest without feeling pressured to a commitment she isn't yet sure if she wants. I mean, its only been 2 dates.

    My suggestion: Don't follow her lead. If she says she'll pay half, don't let her. Just don't. Make a joke, or be serious, whatever is more natural to you. If she says she'd like to meet with her friends, tell her you'd actually like to spend one-on-one time with her. She's a big girl; if she's just trying to be safe, make sure you do things in a public area. Also, do something other than dinner next. Do something unique and interesting. Join a community service project together, garden, go on a walk around a flower market in a rich part of town, they'll have all sorts of cool flowering plants for sale...

    • Well, we have been meeting one on one and even the next date she suggested in one on one. She offered to pay first time too, but I did not let her pay. Second time I did offer to pay but did not want to be too forceful. Oh, I do not know if she has trouble with spotlight because both of us are 30. I am sure she has dated other guys before.

      Positives I have seen so far are she always suggests we should do something at the end of the date. But both the times we drove separately.

    • Why does she have to move fast just because she's 30? I still say if you do move on you should at least talk to her first. Your assumptions may be wrong.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • hmmm do you guys flirt alot? do you like her if you do next time you go out you should make it obvious you don't just want to be friends like don't be too aggressive or anything lol just light and flirty like be like wheres my hug? stuff like that and if you do like her you should make it known in the way you talk to her too she might be thinking the same thing as you one of you has to make the first move right

    • There was negligible flirting. I was thinking of making a move after we got out of restaurant but she said she had to leave and ran away. I know she is very busy but .....During dinner it is tough to be initiate physical contact if we are sitting opposite sides of the table.

    • You need to learn much bro, as a crash course don't take girls to dinner at all for the first date, take her for a drink, maybe see a band play at the pub. If your going to sit with her and anyone for that matter always sit to the side of them or right next to them if the restaurant has a couch (find a restaurant that has a couch as well) so you can hold her hand. Don't wait for the lame attempt at a kiss at the end of the date at the doorstep, go for it at any time you feel like

What Guys Said 1

  • WOW, this is really interesting, I think she might like you but what moves did you actually make, did you hold her hand at least! I mean you have been out on 2 dates so you must have done that...

    When a girl asks you to come and play cards at her place either its on, as in your going to have sex, or you are so deep down into the friends hole its not funny, the only way to know is to show your interest in her as more than a friend

    • I hope it is not the case of so deep down into the friends hole

    • I think your LJBF (lets just be friended) just from reading how you act on the "date", don't worry, just learn from your mistakes, are you really 25 to 29?