How do I get the guy to chase me and ask me out?

A little backstory on this guy: I met him last spring at the community college I was attending at the time. He went up to me at the library and started talking. Before I knew it he was asking me for my number. After that experience, we had two other encounters. We had great conversations on both occasions and he even texted me after both occasions. But eventually, texting between us started to fizzle out. He actually invited me to go to this church event where they were making Greek food for the community. He told me I should stop by and said it was running all weekend. I said I could try to make it Sunday but later the following day, he said it was actually only going on for that one day. He would only be volunteering on that day, which made me question if he changed his mind. I moved on for sometime and deleted him from facebook, but he eventually re-added me. Then I decided to text him out of the blue around New Years and he said he had been meaning to text me as well. So I asked him yesterday if he wanted to meet and catch up and he agreed. We definitely hit it off once again and I still felt a strong connection. He even texted me immediately after and went on to say, "We have so much in common and thank you for listening to me." He even said, "He felt like I was reading his mind at times". All of this being said, I am really feeling this guy right now. It has been so long since I have truly liked someone and I don't want to mess it up or look desperate. We have connection, chemistry, and lots of common interests. He is what I am looking for. What do I do to get him to ask me out? I invited him to my birthday brunch in a few weeks. But I really want him to make the next move because I feel like I have been going out of my way to initiate a lot of it. He is a busy guy and he likes to fill up his schedule with work, school, and important activities as well. But I am the type of person who when I want something, I go after it. I just want to do it in the right way.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "I don't want to mess it up or look desperate"

    Don't worry you'll most likely mess it up by looking uninterested.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You can try asking him out.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 17

  • Don't even need to read passed the title.
    First off, you can't. Second, you go out and hustle your ass off. Ask him out. Make a move on him. Third, if he says no to your advances, he doesn't want you. You then move on.

    God I'm sick of these pathetic "How do I make him ask me out" questions.

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  • why do u want him to chase u.. who u think u r? Donald trump? sheesh. . girls these days are horrible.. ur not a 100 Diller bill for him to chase u. .

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    • You people are taking what I am saying the wrong way. This is why I am here to ask you guys. I don't mind making the first move. I just fear rejection because I've experienced it frequently in the past. Putting your heart out there can be hard when you've had a rough love life. You also have to understand that I've been given advice from those close to me to let the guy chase me.

    • just buy a dog bone... and he'll eventually chase u

  • Jesus... what do I do to get him to ask me out.

    You're an adult. Use your words. Ask him out.

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    • We are both adults here. I basically have asked this dude out, but sometimes guys are clueless. He also said in the past that he likes a challenge.

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    • I feel like I was obvious. I paid him some compliments yesterday and I tried to be obvious without being too blunt. But I guess I'll give it a try. I don't have a problem telling a guy how I feel, I just don't want them running in the opposite direction after the fact, but I guess love is a risk.

    • What'd I say? "Whatever you think is obvious, isn't."

      You're wrong, and you said as much yourself. Paid him compliments? Tried to be obvious (Do. Or do not. There is no try.) without being blunt? So... you pussyfooted around it.

      OB. VI. OUS.

  • You need to act. You say he's busy. Which means he has many opportunities to meet other girls. You'll hate it if you see him with another girl soon because you didn't show enough interest in him.

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  • just ask him out for a coffe or a dinner. and express your feelings towards him and tell him that, i have the same feelings for you that you have for me

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  • You ask him out.

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  • You need to keep that go getter attitude. But you are a girl and because of that there isn't much you have to do for a guy to follow. Don't play hard to get either. That gets old real fast.

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  • geez, I can't believe you wrote all that. [shrug]
    Sounds like you're not a priority much.

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  • Tell him to chase you and ask you out.

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  • with majority of men abhorring this 'chase' bs females come up with you're probably risking him giving up on your game... so don't play games; if you want him, tell him how you feel.

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  • You just show up.

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  • Well this isn't the 1900s so you are able to ask him out.

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  • Well dear if you are so into this guy, why are you so afraid of making the first move?

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  • Why do you want to be chased and asked out ?

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  • You should leave him

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  • Not to discourage you, but as a guy i can tell you that if a guy wants a girl, he chases her. Unless this guy is just a pussy lol but it sounds like youve been in contact for a while and he's never made any moves. He could be afraid or he could just not be that into you.

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    • Not every guy has confidence. Most of us are worried about rejection.

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    • @jonahhw
      That might be possible but I still don't know what to do at this point. I have people telling me to drop the guy if he won't chase me and directly as me out or I have people telling me to put on my big girl shoes and just do it myself?

    • Don't just drop him because he won't chase you. That's a really old way of thinking. If you think there's a possibility of him liking you, though, don't be afraid to ask him out. I've never met any guy who would take someone asking him out as less than than a compliment even if they weren't interested in the person asking them out.

What Girls Said 1

  • Ask him out instead. Jesus Christ.

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