I used to think I was quite a catch. But how come nobody wants to commit?

So, I'm 19 (nearly 20) years old, in college, and I've never had a boyfriend. Usually it doesn't bother me because I stay confident and am really focused on my own things anyway, but lately I have been starting to feel lonely.

I just don't get it. Girls who don't give a care about anything have people who want to date them. Me, I pour every bit of my heart into everything. I'm a really good D1 athlete, I make straight A's, I care about people and I'm the one that all of my friends confide in and seek out for advice. Also, I've been told all of my life that I am very attractive.

However, I only ever get one of two things. Either guys who tell me how hot I am and try to get into my pants, but don't like that I don't party and drink, or guys who are respectful and like my personality but just hook up with other girls. Either way, I'm always "too high maintenance".

Is it me? Or do guys actually like girls who don't care so much about everything?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sadly today's dating world is a hook up culture. My lady friend told me girls today put on this "I'm strong, I don't need a man, I just need to get laid" front and hook up with guys then hope it turns into a relationship. Because everyone fears feelings these days.

    Also these guys could be putting you on layaway. They express attraction to you and hope that some day down the road when they are done partying they can scoop you up. I say don't fall into that.
    I do know who you are, but the way your describe yourself, you are a catch. You're mature for your age, and your peers are very immature. I suggest going for an older guy, not like 38 more like 26-30. Because as a man in that age group dating is officially dumpster diving, girls are like 300lbs, have 4 kids from 4 different guys, unemployed etc etc and you would be the diamond in someones rough if you went for a man ages 26-30

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Most Helpful Girl

  • They probably chase them more because they are down for one night stands, while you are not.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • It's the age group. That is all guys your age want. They are looking for fun, variety and quantity. They aren't looking or ready for "the one" yet.

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    • I'd like to counter that, i have and always have been looking for 'the one' even when i was 17

    • Show All
    • Well no, like I'm an outgoing and fun person.. I go to parties but I don't drink and put out. And these guys will go on dates with me and I know we have a lot of fun one on one. But instead of commiting to me and waiting, they'll go hook up with drunk party girls

    • @truthbeknown Currently i live in the middle no nowhere so my pool of potienal women is very small

  • If you have been labeled high maintenance, then that is telling you something. It means guys don't want to bother wasting their time with you, when they can get along so much easier with someone else.

    Essentially, you are not competing against other women well. Figure out how they are and how that compares to you.

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    • Yeah, guys who don't even know me call me that because I am from a wealthy family and I do have nice things.. But I'd never expect a guy to have to buy me things or go over the top. My male friends have told me that they assumed that of me too at first

    • When I was in college, I had a rule: I never went out with rich girls. I don't have to worry about that anymore, since I've only met one woman who personally earns more than what I do now, and she is a married CEO of a major corp (and I know some female surgeons too).

      It would be a big mistake for an average income guy to get involved with you. It rarely works out for a rich girl and average guy. Plenty of rich girls play with average guys, but the guy knows she will dump him when she gets serious. Many guys won't play that game.

      You have nice things. What a guy sees is "I can't afford that." Who paid for it? Did mommy and daddy buy it?

    • If you want to try to live like an average girl so an average guy will not turn away, take everything you have that you didn't earn (that includes your buying LV with your money if daddy paid your rent) over to your parents' attic and live ONLY on your own earnings. If you can't make the rent, get a place you can afford. If you can reduce your lifestyle down to average and be happy with it, then average guys won't be intimidated. You can spring it on them that your family is rich when he first visits your parents' house to meet them.

      You have a choice: Seek only those men that have the means to support your lifestyle, or reduce your lifestyle to only what you can do yourself and see if you can live on it. Either answer is valid. I would personally recommend the first.

  • It could be that you're not as attractive as you think you are.

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    • I'm not the one who think I'm all that lol. That's why it's most annoying.. because I'm a nice girl who wants a decent guy but instead I have guys talking about how much they'd want to f*** me

    • Maybe your style emits a party girl and not a girl that guys take home to their moms.

    • "I have guys talking about how much they'd want to f*** me "
      That is because they know they are not the man that a girl like you would choose. To those that think that, that is a way to "stick it to the man [with money]", because they don't have it.

  • I think for many guys the fact that you don't ever drink or party might be a turn off. I like to drink and have fun with my friends and it would be pretty lame if my girlfriend couldn't really participate on that.

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  • why don't you check some of your friends as candidates I'm sure you know good guys

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  • people your age want everything to be fun i. e. partying and drinking.

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    • Then how come some of them say that they really like that about me and don't want me to go out and fool around and that I'm classy... these people just go mess around and party themselves though without telling me and pretend to me goodie goods around me

    • it's "nice" to them, but they wouldn't wanna do that

  • Where are you choosing to meet these guys

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What Girls Said 1

  • I feel the same way. I noticed that girls who gives zero fucks are the ones that are literally being chased by man. Also the man who claim they do not like girls who are fake, are chasing the girls who wear cake make up and fake hair etc. Guy say they want to girl who is loyal. However I noticed that a lot of guys do sleep with girls who would be considered promiscuous or a slut. Guy say one thing and do another. Are used to pour my heart out onto guys but now as I have gotten older I've started to care less because I do not want to waste my time and life is too short to care. I noticed that once I started to care less all of a sudden I tracked it a guy who I really like. However I am still single which is fine with me.

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