I thought my boyfriend cheated on me but he didn't, I'm scared I ruined our relationship?

He was hanging around this girl heaps and she was hacking his snapchat and posting pics of herself on his story and then sent me screenshots of them having sexual conversations.
Turns out she's his ex and they're best friends (I'm best friends with my ex too) and the screenshots were from when they were dating and not recent at all.
he's upset that I thought he'd cheat on me and now it's extremely awkward and blunt, what do I do?
I've apologised but it's still very stilted...


0|0
1510

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, what did he expect? Lol it's normal to think he's cheating on you if you're seeing this girl on his snapchat and receiving sexual convos from them.
    Sounds like she's trying to sabotage your relationship. If he doesn't see that, he's kind of blind. He needs to tell that bitch it's over. And he should forgive you, you really did nothing wrong after what you saw/read.

    6|3
    0|1

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he should apologize too, and that you guys should move forward and leave your exes behind since hey are causing drama, okay maybe it's not your ex who caused drama, but if you guys love each other, leave BOTH of your exes behind and concentrate on each other.

    Good luck

    1|1
    0|0
    • Exactly. Between "exes" there are always shifted boundaries.

    • Show All
    • if he cut her out you should too because it is only fair 😉

    • and what happens when your with someone who refuses to cut their ex out, despite knowing how upset it makes you and how the act makes you feel like you aren't worth it?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • Everyone messes up, in life. You went too far!! If you really care, and love him, beg forgiveness, and endure his punishment, knowing you deserve it!!
    Very few relationships cannot be saved, but you must make an apology, and let him choose what he wants, as 'Penance'.
    If he really loves you, it will not be anything terrible, or humiliating. You were wrong, and you must accept that, and reconsider why you didn't trust him, in the first place (That is what would have HURT me the most, if you were mine!!)
    Personally, I don't know what kind of penance, or punishment for doubting, and not trusting, would be appropriate!
    I LOVE her, but she was, and she did that, and so on!!! How can you restore that 'TRUST' once it is compromised? Is there a punishment, a 'penance' that could change, and correct that idea, that the trusted lover could do those things, and somehow be forgiven, and trusted again? Maybe Love, compassion, and understanding?
    I don't know. Maybe he can't trust you, again. Maybe he could?

    0|0
    2|1
  • i think you just tell him one last time you made a mistake and you hope that he can forgive you... there isn't a ton to do after that except show that you trust him

    0|0
    0|0
  • This is why people need to move the fvck on and stop talking to their ex when they start a relationship. Usually when I dump someone. Its because they have inappropriate boundaries with opposite sex friends or exes. Be nice to your ex. Keep in touch occasionally. But know where to draw a boundary that is healthy for your relationship.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Well you jumped to conclusions and didn't trust your boyfriend just cause you saw a couple of messages --> would totally suck to be framed and have you as our last hope. You'd just leave us to rot rather than having lengedary trust in your knight and shining armor

    Ah well, they really don't make women like they use to

    0|1
    1|0
  • relationships take work and trust. Are you wanting to invest those things? Is he?

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't want to be in such a situation, oooooooooh...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just talk it through.

    If you were paranoid and wildly accusing him that would be one thing.

    Being concerned because of forged evidence by his stalker is a little more understandable.

    You got through it.

    Ask him if it would help get rid of her if you fucked in front of her on Skype so she could see how happy he is now.

    Note: probably don't do this, she's psycho ;)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Neither of you should be friends with your exes in the first place.
    Plus, if you don't trust each other, then you shouldn't be in a relationship either.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Women have so much shit going on in their brains... no wonder modern relationships are in shambles. Fuck you women... you killed family relationships, motherhood and everything worth living for. Damn pathetic looses.

    Personally i hope her leaves you for another women. Asshole

    0|0
    2|0

What Girls Said 14

  • Talk to him about it when he's calm. Just slowly explain why you felt that way. I mean what where you meant to think when some girl sends you conversations like that? Just get it all out in the open and apologize. It's not really your fault or his. It's just a bump in the road. Let him say his piece and try to understand it from his point of view too. Then when you're done talking agree to move past it. Over time things will get better again.

    However, if he still acts defensive or is still speaking to this ex, I would be pretty worried. I hope to god if my boyfriends ex did that he would be smart enough to block the b*tch.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I assume you've explained everything to him and his ex was just messing with you. (Honestly I don't think his ex should have been doing that, whether or not they're best friends, it's your relationship not hers anymore, it's not exactly fair to do that. I'm sure your boyfriend would get annoyed/upset if your bff/ex did that.)

    It's not exactly going to go away straight away. If he bring it up again just ask him how he'd feel if your ex did that to him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think the way you saw things was wrong though. His ex "supposingly" hacked into his snapchat and then sent you screenshots of them having a sexual conversation. Who does that? Why do they even have those messages kept/saved? Why did she send "sexual" conversations? If anything i think she is trying to split the two of you up.

    Your boyfriend needs to understand that she just disrespected your relationship.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yeah we had a long conversation all night and he cut her out of his life, it's still super awkward with conversation haha

    • I bet it would be super awkward. Try to get some affectionate moments in there :)

  • can't blame you if she was the one who sought out to ruin your relationship tell him what else were you suppose to believe, by putting himself in a situation with his ex who still has feelings and wants to ruin your relationship he can't be mad.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I mean, it's unreasonable for him to think you'd just know that. He should have told you that they were really good friends from the start. I don't think you have anything to apologize for. And if he wants to be a butthead still, let him. He needs to move on.

    0|0
    0|0
  • sounds she like she purposely is trying to get under your skin and try to ruin your relationship. Not really sure why he isn't mad at her with her sending you previous conversations between them. Why are either of you friends with an ex and how recent is the exs. Being friends with them is a disaster waiting to happen..

    0|0
    0|0
    • My ex and I have been friends since we were kids and only dated a year before we realised we were better as friends and I feel hypocritical telling my boyfriend not to be friends with his ex if I'm friends with mine :/

  • How long can you keep a story witb the ex?
    And what's with this girl sending YOU her screen shots? Too much drama. I'd walk away from all of it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • First of all, why are you best friends with your exes? 😂

    0|0
    0|0
    • We have been best friends since we were kids and dated for a year before we realised we were better as friends haha it is a really weird situation

  • give it some time

    0|0
    0|0
  • you didn't know and it's not your fault. he should calm down

    0|0
    0|0
  • Lol what that still sounds so sketchy on his part

    0|1
    0|0
  • He shouldn't be sexting his ex period. Even id they are best friends. just because it wasn't sex (that you know of) doesn't make it okay. Would he be upset if you were talking to your ex the same way he was talking to her?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why did she do that? Looks she has some kind of agenda.. like ruining your relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • well you didn't trust him and that's a major thing, so i wouldn't be surprised if he broke up with you soon

    0|0
    1|0
    • Well, what was she supposed to think at first if some girl sends screenshots of of conversations like that? I don't think it's either of their fault, but if I were to put myself in the guy's shoes I wouldn't really be that mad. If a guy sent him pictures like that wouldn't he have thought the same?

Loading...