I am seeing a geeky nerd guy and can't be happy when he's talking about dorky things. Nerds and others just please help?

He's a very good person and the best guy i have ever seen.
there are a lot of reasons why i do love him. I think there will be almost zero percent of chance for me to see another guy who's as good as him.
of course he has very many flaws but i love all of them and he is just literally kind of male virsion of myself. I can't even imagine another guy can understand me as much as he does.
but there's just one problem i really can't not overcome.

He is a nerd. A huge nerd. He's the best best best nerd i have ever seen.
He loves superheroes, video games and StarWars which I don't find interesting.
We've been seeing a year and i am just getting tired of watching/hearing about those things more and more.
I tried to be polite and understanding so he thinks i like them...

i know i should tell him the truth that I don't like them as much as he thinks but i am afraid of hurting him. They are literally everything for him 😂

sometimes i think he likes me because he can share nerdy stuffs with me :( becayse he talks about them a lot. 1-2 hours if I didn't say i couldn't even understand what he was talking about lol...
what do i do? Why can't he just stop expecting me a nerd like him? Seriously i am not a type of person who can be a nerd. I am extremely extrovert and enjoy other things that i can do with moving my body. Reading comics and stuck in the movie theater are getting boring more and more. I enjoyed it at the very first time because i really wanted to be with him and wanted to make him happy.

Now he seems very happy and i am not :( how can i make him less talk about those things without hurting him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just tell him you like his nerdy things okay, but you like to do other things too sometimes, (And I'm a huge nerd PLUS a turbo-dork, so I have no idea what you extroverts actually like. What, dancing? Concerts? I'm just guessing. Parties?) And that you want to spend a little more time doing your fun normie activities. Whatever you want to do. And then drag him out to do it and try to help him get into it, be encouraging, tell him not to worry about other people, that he's there for you, and you're there for him, try hard to make it a good experience for him, like he tries to help you enjoy Star Wars.

    When you achieve a better balance, so you have your fun time and he has his, it'll become much easier to enjoy his nerdy things again, as long as you have your fun party to look forward to or remember the dance last night, and plan things for tomorrow, etc. Tell him you're starting to get burned out a little bit and he needs to show you something else really cool, not just Star Wars all the time.

    If he doesn't know anything else cool in the nerd world besides Star Wars, come back to me, I'll give you a list. Novelty and balance is what you need.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My husband is a bit like this. He is soccer mad, absolutely loves it so wants to give me a play by play if every manU game, every A-league game, every one of his weekend matches, every one of his Tuesday night matches and then tell me what happened at training.
    I just don't care. I'm not interested in it, and really - heard it once heard it all.
    I used to pretend to love it all and listen in rapture but I just got frustrated like you are now. So I explained I love his passion, his commitment and watching him light up when he talks about it but that I just can't for hours everyday. Now he has 15min to debrief and rant afterwards and then I'm out. Over the years he's gotten amazingly well at timing it down to the second and in all honesty it's worked for him too, he doesn't stay angry for as long if the result wasn't good as he knows I won't keep talking about it.
    He has his friends to talk shop - he gets bored when I rave on about a book I read for too long or how some fabric I bought doesn't suit etc. we respect and enjoy each other's passions but we had to make our own common ground and not just be talked at.
    This goes for both of our hobbies - tech, videogames, the gym, reading, sewing, cooking and bitching about friends.
    Works for us anyway 😊

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • "Why can't he just stop expecting me a nerd like him?"

    Because you are too scared to tell him otherwise. Women need to stop being so scared of hurting people's feelings. This isn't going to go away on its own.

    COMMUNICATE WITH HIM. If he's truly worth your time, he'll understand.

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  • You need to talk to him, tell him that you care about him but that you are different. You support him in his likes but you have your own likes / dislikes. You don't have to tell him that you hate his stuff but that it isn't as interesting to you as it is to him.

    He will still talk about it with you as it is something he loves. Just like you talk about things you love, even if he might not like them as much as you.

    Relationships are about compromises. My wife isn't into the same things I am, some things she is, others not. It goes the same way for me, there are some of the things she likes that I don't care for and some that I do. We make it work though.

    Focus on what you have in common. You can each do the things you love at the same time, if he wants to do what he loves at a particular time you can then do what you want. But make sure you do things together that you both like.

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  • So this isn't Penny and Leonard from Big Bang... you're upset because he's shares the same interests as you but to a more extreme level?

    Introduce him to your other interests, let him introduce you to his. A relationship is happiest and healthiest if you are sharing new experiences and discovering new things together.

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  • Nah be honest. No one should live out a lie, who knows maybe he'll find better priorities in the future

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  • sorry but there is no way of telling him without hurting him. You already acted interested. Either you continue to do this, or tell him how much you hate it.

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  • u must talk with him clearly :/ bcs this is relationships. and u must talk this topics with him. he hurts or he doesn't hurt but if u think future, u and him must talk about these topics :)

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    • Clearly? Should i say "i lied you. They are fucking boring"? 😂
      I wanna tell him I don't think i like them as much as he does and don't wanna watch entire of series of marvel movies? Is it fine?

    • :D :D i mean clearly not this :D ok tell him that i dont like to watch that series and marvel movies etc. in the movies endustries, so many movie u can watch together. u can't watch same series always. i have my style too

  • there's nothing wrong with a couple having different interests, if u try to like what he likes u need to sit him down and tell him he needs to take interest in what u like somewhat.

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  • Unless he has a STEM career and that's what he talks about dump him as no one wants to hear a grown man talking about muscular guys in spandex lol

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  • Give him a time limit, then redirect to something you both like.

    Many guys will shut up if you fuck them, that's often an option.

    "I'm less interested in Darth Malak's lightsaber than yours'

    Or just get a princess leia costume and put it on whenever he talks star wars, he'll probably come up with a better idea then talking about it.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Tell him you don't like them things and he will stop talking about them and you can talk about something you do like.

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  • It's not all about him. Say you want to do other things together besides that. Do it quick before i gets too annoying for you.

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    • Thanks. I always talk what i want to do with him and we do those things. But just can't say I don't enjoy nerdy stuffs that he mostly wants to share and do with me😫😫

    • That's sweet but now you're hurting yourself in a way. You don't have to be mean about it..

  • be honest with him. do it gently though

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