Lack of quality time... As well as a lack of a sexlife with my significant other is driving me insane. Am I over thinking things?

Thank you for your time!
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 months. I am 25 and he is 27. I completely adore him! I really see a future with us, being with him feels like home :) I understand effort in first establishing the relationship, & passion of a honeymoon stage are about over. Though distance and lack of effort that I see is becoming really upsetting to me. I feel like we never spend anytime together. When we first got together, he always made time for me. Now He leaves for work at about 7:30am gets home at 5pm, plays video games or goes straight to sleep. He always falls asleep at 7-8pm at the latest. Proceeds to wake up at 3-4am (because he falls asleep so early) he stays up till he leaves for work. This is why Im building resentment. He has the choice an will power to change his sleeping schedule, but doesn't try. We barley ever have sex anymore either (If we do its him waking me up when Im sleeping in the early morning) I go to bed around 11-12am, wake up at 7 and return home at 6:30pm. We have similar schedules, so why does it have to be this way? Iv asked him to go to the gym with me, take the dogs for a walk, etc. I thought maybe he is depressed or is having some health issue. I asked if he would go see a doctor, said I was worried (He crashed his car recently, doesn't remember it happening, says he must have fallen asleep at the wheel. The accident happened 2 hours after full night's rest. Why would he fall asleep at the wheel?) Should I be more patient? We are moving into our own place in 6 months (We are staying with his parents to save money) maybe things will be better then? I have been workin on my personal growth. I cook really healthy, I go to the gym 5 days a week, have lots of hobbies, good friends,& I work full-time with horses. Feelin pretty good in my own skin, But in my relationship, I feel like growth has been paused. I almost feel like I'm single. I want a partner, a bestfriend.. right now I just feel alone.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • No, I think you're correct to see big red flags here.

    He could shift his schedule. So could you. But he seems to not care. It's a triple whammy:
    - doesn't he WANT more?
    - doesn't he care that you want more?
    - you're also frustrated and lonely on top of the above

    I could make suggestions... but to be honest, aside from putting in reasonable efforts, i'd suggest dumping him if it doesn't improve. To 'make a relationship work' you can try being more open about what you want and need. But at this stage, I don't know why you'd try to make it work with someone who was like that.

    If you were my partner, i'd be pawing at you every night and the odd morning as well, wanting to be affectionate, talk, etc.


What Girls Said 1

  • You feel neglected right? Have you talked to him about it? Talking about how neglected you feel about the relationship. You feel like he hasn't put any effort into the relationship? Nurturing the relationship and all. What do the two of you choose to do over the weekend. Maybe you should dedicate one day of the week to reconnect.

    A lot of men don't understand what affection can do for a woman. It can be so powerful, that men often neglect the affection aspects of a relationship and wonder why she is so distant or not her usual self.

    I don't think living together with his parents would help, if anything it would make it worst probably. Communication is the key though. Work is great, work is going to always be there (since you both are full time) but he needs to put more priority in the relationship, and you kind of need to show him that.


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