Guys that have been fat and then lost weight: did you find it easier to get girls after you dropped the lbs? (girls can weigh in too)?

I realize there is probably a placebo effect where you would feel more confident and are more outgoing but the change for the better as far as physical appearance matters a lot I'm guessing. Or... you remain shy and timid even after losing weight? Or did things just stay the same anyway?
I'm in the processing of dieting and what not since the new year, dropped 10 lbs so far, I kinda worry I'll just act the same if I do slim down to my target and it won't improve my prospects.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Some of them still feel insecure even after they lose the weight.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Shy and timid is something you have to work on separately but I did a physical transformation that was slightly different.

    I was very skinny and ended up bulking up and gaining some mass, filling up my shirts better. That definitely went beyond a placebo effect since I had some girls wanting to feel my arms and chest and complimenting me on my body. They definitely would not have been interested in doing that when I was a skinny and awkward-looking teenager.

    The shyness and timidness I got over mostly because the first couple of girls actually came onto me first and I accepted their offer. Probably the physical transformation helped there. After I got a few girlfriends, I started to no longer fixate and fall in love with the first pretty girl who smiled at me. As a result it became much easier to just behave normally and comfortably around attractive girls over time since I didn't consider it that big of a deal whether or not they would accept my offer to go out.

    • For the confidence side I actually recommend just asking girls out sooner before you develop strong feelings for them. When you haven't had that much experience having girlfriends, a shy person can tend to develop a strong attachment to a girl with little mutual participation on her part, maybe just being friendly with each other. If you're one of those types, you might be a lot more confident around girls you don't consider attractive but not so confident around girls you do.

      In that case I'd never be confident around a girl I never even dated for whom I had these strong feelings towards. The only reason I was able to become confident when asking girls out is that I no longer develop such strong feelings for a girl until we've gone on some dates and have at least gotten quite physical and intimate with each other.

      In my case I don't have to ask girls out sooner anymore but if you're prone to crush on girls from afar, then I recommend asking them out before you do that.

    • Very good advice and yes honestly I think most of what you said does pertain to how I am.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 4

  • I often say I wish that everyone could achieve their ideal body goals because I learned the hard way that it isn't a magic fix for girl problems.

    • So did you ever find out what else you needed to work on?

    • That is the big question my man haha. Social skills, empathy, and every girl is different.

  • Taking care of yourself will always be a positive however you look at it

  • After losing 70 pounds, I did start noticing women looking at me more and being overall more friendly and flirty.

    • I forgot to mention that I've never been too shy or timid however. The only reason I'm not in a relationship however is my lack of employment. As long as I'm jobless I will not seek a relationship.

    • Yes I understand I actually work retail and make only about 30k a year I feel like I'm kinda not cut out to date girls that are successful but there plenty of girls I'm assuming are in my boat financially.
      Wish you luck in finding s job man I know it's not easy out there

  • I lost almost 150 pounds since 16. Still no girlfriend...

    • Sorry to hear that (if I've been wanting one) but damn 150! I salute u broski

    • Show All
    • That's gotta feel good though right? When people realize ur. It te fat kid anymore haha

    • Yeah, and it's always the first thing they comment, anyone who meets me after a long time.