Second date and he already talked about marriage? Should I be scared?

I went on a second date with this guy I met online, he is really nice and very stable in terms of career etc. He seems to really enjoy my company and told me how his friends know about me and then told me about his life plan and how he wants to settle within the next two years - with a house and be married by end of next year. He isn't seeing anyone else at the moment.

I, on the other hand, just want a relationship and see how it goes... but I am nowhere near to being stable compared to him and him talking about getting married and how in 10 years he wants to be married with two kids. I like this guy, compared to all the guys I dated, I find him interesting and charming and importantly knows how to treat women. But him already talking about his life plan scares me a bit. I want to get married and have kids too, but I don't think I am ready as I am still figuring things out with my career.

We haven't even kissed or held hands yet, so far it's just him putting his arm around my waist as we walk.

Does he see me as a wife candidate? He seems more serious than me right - Should I stop seeing him? My friends tell me to not rush it because it seems like he is rushing and I shouldn't follow every move he takes.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he is just letting you know what he is looking for in a relationship, not necessarily expecting you to fill the billet.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Jesus, I'd be running for the hills. I don't care how stable you are but you're planning our wedding already? Whatever happened to "falling in love, enjoying the relationship, forming bonds" etc?

    Seems like he's treating it like a race. NO THANKS!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • I just really wanted to tell you this. after the appreciating words for him, you are considering not to see him. If you complain about not finding the right guy then you should be single for life. I can understand that you want to take things slow , then you should speak with him about this and let him think of what to do. I am sure if he is as good as you say then he won't have any problems with taking it slow.
    finally its your decision. good luck.

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  • He's probably just trying to let you know how serious of a relationship he is looking for. If it scares you off then he knows that you aren't as serious as him about relationships

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  • He gives an outline of his "agenda", if you will. Has nothing to do with you, in particular. You got nothing to be afraid of.

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  • Yes, he seems desperate. Definitely something to watch out.

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  • He sounds desperate.

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  • You should be scared because he sounds like a stalker.

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  • Just tell him you're not interested in marriage right now, so he doesn't waste his time with you.

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  • I don't think he's proposing so like?

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  • tell him to shore down

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What Girls Said 10

  • How old is he? Just be cautious and see where it goes. Your 20s are prime time to get married.. when you're in your 30s you might sound like him. If he's interested in you he's not going anywhere. He sounds amazing by the way. Dont be afraid of a man who wants commitment. Why aren't you stable, as in career? That's a guys main job to be stable career wise.

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    • He's 27 and same as me. I am Chinese and he is Indian - I don't know if that's how Indian guys date in general, as in lay it all on the table with what he is looking for. But this is the second time that he has mentioned about getting married - he even said how his mum got his birthday checked, and how he will get married end of 2018 to someone with a postgraduate masters degree. I have a postgraduate degree and when he said that, he didn't even blink once and looked straight into my eyes.

      I'm not stable anymore, because I recently left my job to make a career change to venture into business. He is a really nice guy and very sweet... I just don't want to lose him because I am not "ready" in terms of career, compared to him as I do want kids and want to get married too. But not sure, if it's all happening too fast... but again I am not sure what the Indian culture is like with dating. I don't think he is seeing anyone else.

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    • I haven't yet because I am the go with the flow type... and I do like this guy and it's only been the second date, so I don't see it as serious yet. Just not sure what he would think, plus I don't know if his parents will accept inter-racial relationships, even though he tells me his parents are quite liberal. He already told me his friends know about me and did ask if my friends know about him, so I think he sees me as something serious?

    • Yes he's serious. Are your parents okay with interracial marriage? I've seen Indian men and women who married outside their race. Time will tell, just enjoy it :)

  • it is normal , some people are like that

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  • Run the other way. I'm hoping to marry too however anyone who puts a time limit on the relationship is desperate. Major red flag for me.

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  • I wouldn't be scared. At least you know what he is looking for in his life or what he wants in the future. Just be honest with him how you feel. Not that he scares you but you want to take things slow and see where it leads.

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  • RUN!!! As fast as you possible can!

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  • Sounds like he already knows what he wants and he's being very clear about it. Usually men say that because they want to see how you respond to it, and not necessarily mean you're a wife candidate. How old is he?

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    • True, he is 27, same as me - but I think because he is Indian and I am Chinese, we have different dating cultures.

    • Sometime guys will just say things to see if you guys are on the same page. It's like a mini test. I think 27 is also the age where guys want to meet women in hopes that she is in the for long haul and eventually become his wife. It's up to you whether or not you want to continue to date him. Go with your gut feeling and ask yourself is this what YOU want?

  • Rush in rush out fast

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  • FFFFUUUCCCKKKKKKKK YYYYYYOOOOOUUUUUUU!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😣😡😡😡😡

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  • It seems like he's a good guy, you shouldn't stop meeting him. just tell him about your planning in life too, about you aren't ready yet for marriage and stuff, being indirect as he is, because we still don't know yet if he's choosing as his wife candidate..

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  • I think the way he has kind of a due date to get married is scary. If he just said he wanted to get married eventually, thats fine. But I don't know sounds pretty in your face

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