Why do people assume just because you're attractive means you'll have an easier time dating?

I'm constantly told I'm attractive and people are shocked that I'm having trouble finding a boyfriend. That irks me to constantly hear because what does physical appearance have to do finding someone compatible?


3|1
1658

Most Helpful Guy

  • There are studies done which states:

    1. Attractive people have much better social lives --> More chance to meet members of opposite sex--> More chance to potential date through networking.

    2. Attractive people get hired for jobs faster than less attractive people ---> Easier time to network and get dates via your job.

    With these 2 effects, it can be seen than attractive people have a very big advantage in dating. This doesn't even factor in the psychological aspect ingrain by most people where attractive people, negative qualities are often glossed over while their positive qualities are often extrapolated with many people giving them plenty of chances before they get fed up with them. The opposite occurs for ugly people.

    Put this together and attractive people have a much easier time winning people over.

    1|3
    0|1

Most Helpful Girl

  • You have more options to choose from bc attractive people attract more people. That's just how the world works.

    1|4
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 57

  • Because attractive people have it easier, but if they just wait and see, nothing will happen. That's life. If you put a bit of effort, you can find a bf/gf easily.

    2|3
    0|0
  • It's definitely easier if you're physically attractive to a wider range of males out there.

    That said, it's far from automatic. If you don't flirt or don't show much interest in a guy when he finds you attractive, then it might be difficult. Social skills might even trump looks to some degree.

    Also I think it's better to be extremely attractive to a minority than generally attractive to a majority. Take bodybuilders, for example. I believe they have an easy time getting the ladies if they're reasonably good when it comes to social skills. It's because even though a majority of women don't seem to like bodybuilders, among the minority who do, they will absolutely notice the guy when he enters the room (it's not like bodybuilders are people who blend in with the crowd).

    0|0
    0|0
    • In that latter case, it's generally easier to be exceptionally attractive in the eyes of a few than just generally attractive in the eyes of many. It'll make it easy to really notice who wants you badly and select among them.

    • For compatibility of character, that's difficult to find for everybody. But the most compatible personality on earth with you counts for little if that other person doesn't find you physically/sexually attractive. It makes it easier to find compatible people who actually want to go out with you, so to speak, if you're considered very attractive to a decent number of people.

    • As an example, let's say the most compatible person out there on this planet to me is actually a guy or a 75-year old woman. Well shucks, I have no interest in dating a guy or a 75-year old woman. We're SOL. If the person is a girl I find pretty though, that would work.

  • When you're attractive (and don't just take other girls word for it (especially friends)) people will definitely notice you. They try to please you. Treat you differently. They may even talk about it.

    If no guy approaches, it's just cause they're afraid or shy, or think you're taken, or that you must have some problem (who doesn't?), otherwise you wouldn't be single.

    Again, it doesn't mean they don't notice you. But all this attractiveness can change with the attitude you present yourself to the public, the way you talk, dress, walk, etc. Basically, your manners. Sometimes we just get a wrong vibe from someone. Sometimes the person doesn't leave us at ease, or isn't very welcoming (a smile every now and then doesn't hurt). Unfortunately, we have also learnt that normal smiles don't mean much.

    Anyway, don't be passive and wait, if you see something you like, do your best to be noticed. If you just wait around, you'll just get whatever comes at you. Lay your net. But some bait on it ;)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes , if you are attractive you might have iteasier than others in the dating arena. This does not mean that you will have an easy time finding love. When you are attractive you will also attract a lot of unstable people , married people , people looking only for sex or for an ego boost. You will. eventually find out that the vast majority of people that are attracted to you are not interested in you (yes , there is a difference)
    Second , you will find that if you are very attractive many people will be intimidated by you and may shun you and block you out as protection mechanism. They will asume that you are unattainable and arrogant and will thus not give you a chance to know them or them you.

    I all of this because many people consided me a nice looking guy but are surprised when they flnd out that I am single. Its not as easy as some might think.

    Peace.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because most people define "having trouble dating" as "having problems attracting someone to date me".

    An attractive person complaining about dating when he/she is constantly attracting ppl's interest,

    comes off as the wealthy complaining about running out of things to buy.

    Completely a #FirstWorldProblem to most

    2|0
    0|0
  • Really? You can even ask this?
    Because the pretty people of the world, especially women, have everything handed to them. You have your choice of guys, guys are willing to bend over backward to do everything for you, etc...
    sorry, no sympathy from me at all...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well derr... people desire beautiful people. All a beautiful woman has to do is sit and wait to either get her inbox flooded thousands of times a day and gets approached by the same many men.

    For a woman to have an easy dating life, all she needs to do is be average. For a man he either has to have model looks including tall height or compensate for status and a huge bank account.

    0|3
    0|0
  • Because they either don't know better, or are find you better looking than them, and in turn think it appropriate to hate on you for it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because it's a fact it does,

    If you're attractive, you literally just have to find someone who's personality you like

    If you're not attractive, you literally have to find someone who will be able to date you being ugly AND like your personality.

    peope don't "assume" prettier people have it easier, it's just obvious fact they have have it easier.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Being good looking makes it easier to have people approach you or find you attractive. That doesn't mean you'll attract people who want to date, they might only want sex.

    4|0
    0|0
  • People wanna be with someone they're attracted to. You're apparently attractive so it would make sense that lots of guys would wanna be with you, which may be true. But as any average guy knows, there's a mile and a half of dangerous ground we gotta trek between wanting to be with an attractive girl and actually being with one. However its generally assumed that at least one guy has successfully crossed from one end to the other.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Because everyone normally looks for attractive people.

    1|2
    0|0
  • well you´ll have an easier time finding dates for sure. in theory you could therefore find dates faster and have them more frequently, which rises your chances of finding someone compatible... of course finding somebody compatible is hard and being attractive doesn´t rise your chances. but many tries rise your chances.

    0|1
    0|0
  • If you have Beauty you bring in a higher class of men for your dates. You just have to choose the right one. Beauty gets you very very far

    1|0
    0|0
    • "If you have Beauty you bring in a higher class of men for your dates. "
      Very subjective because all I'm getting is fuckboys and desperate men.

    • I don't know you. You have to be a classy girl to go along with the looks and dress the part.

  • Sorry girl, but it DEFINITELY helps! If you're hot as hell, guys will be swarming like bees in front of your door. Your social accounts will be full of guys asking you out, asking for nudes or choking you to death with dick pics. Its a fact. I know this from my girl, the day she starting posting fitchick stuff on instagram, guys have been all over her. I once saw a nice girl's facebook while she was browsing it next to me, and man! WTF! She could ask for a ride to the moon and after a minute, there would be 100 guys outside her house offering a free ride. If you struggle finding a boyfriend EVEN if you re hot as hell, then my friend, you re picky as hell and you re waiting for the "whole package", prince charming style. Go ahead and ask a regular girl, or even an unattractive girl what "relationship struggle" is all about because you clearly dont have a clue. And i dont mean to be mean to you, its just a fact. You re picky.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you're attractive, you're desireable by all males. But it's not that simple. I enjoy buying a car, but a car doesn't have to like me back. Getting a girlfriend is far more complicated. Just because your standards are what they are doesn't mean anything. Go with what you want, and what you feel would be the best for you. No need to worry about anyone else's opinion of your life. It's up to you, so live it!

    0|0
    2|0
    • Not ALL males. It depends on if you're their type. And attractive people attract the majority

  • For the longest time I found myself ugly and at a low self confidence but when I met my ex she was very surprised to find out I have never dated. She assumed I was a player. I found out how many girls actually look at me and ever since i became single again, I became conscious of how women react to me. Most are very shy and intimidated. Some act very cold to me for no reason but when they get to know me and that I don't judge on appearance they really warm up. I learned that women actually can find me attractive. I'm still shy around girls if I can sense that they are attracted to me because I feel like girls can do so much better than a loser like me. That's why I'm still single anyways despite girls complimenting me and getting eye fucks all day.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's not an assumption, it's a fact... assuming everything else like personality and status are equal or fairly close to.

    Attractive people have trouble choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend not finding one.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Being attractive can also mean more broken hearts and pain. Definitely doesn't mean things are "easier."

    2|1
    0|0
  • Because being beautiful makes men throw themselves at you.
    And that basically means that you're single because:

    a) You're picky about men
    b) You want Mr perfect soul mate like the movies

    In borh cases most people thonk you're demanding too much.

    0|3
    0|0
  • Attractive = Attract more people = More people, more choices

    2|2
    0|0
  • it irks you because even with looks you can't find a great boyfriend while average girls to it all the time

    1|1
    0|0
  • A simple prababilisict concept. You will attract more people, and you will have an easier time finding someone amongst all the of them.
    On contrast I only have attracted two women for example. I didn't like one if them and I livef way too far from the other.

    0|1
    0|0
  • i think they just think hot girls can have their pick of whoever they want but thats only true for sex not for someone they really like just because ur attractive doesn't mean ur compatible with a lot of people

    2|0
    0|0
  • Because if you're attractive, more people are attracted to you, duh. Therefore you have more options, so it's more likely you'll find someone.

    3|0
    0|0
  • Physical attraction is the first thing people see when they look at you. They can't see who you are, only what you are.

    0|0
    0|0
  • see men are blind to ur inner person they dont wanna know u and the problem with gay is they just dont care😂but what people dont understand that u date a guy who u hit it oof with... where the understanding of another person is better... and i think u r looking for that instead of sex

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's like saying there is this beauitful italian cut wool over suit but nobody wants it?

    You tell me why?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because it dose give you more potential options and potential love interests even if it's not working out for you personally.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Because it's usually true.

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    27

What Girls Said 15

  • I always assumed the opposite. It makes you a target. And I've been yelled at by peole for things that weren't my fault because of how I look.

    My childhood was kind of sad but I raised to very good younger siblings. I also lost my dad the love of my life as a child. Looks have nothing to do with it. I did t think I was pretty and so I was able to work. But men made bad advances towards me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because you get a disproportionate amount of attention so you have a higher chance of getting relationship prospects, even if most of them just want sex.

    0|1
    0|0
  • When a person looks at someone of the opposite sex that they have just met, it's true that they look at physical appearance first. After all, that's what they see first. If someone knows that the person is physically attractive, then they are more interested to know about your personality. And if your personality is compatible with theirs, then you could become a pair. It's harsh, but true. Many girls who are not as physically attractive don't get as many opportunities to get to know guys since the guys are just not physically attracted to them. And to have a long-lasting relationship, I believe that personality compatibility and similar values is crucial, however having some kind of physical attraction to your partner is vital for the healthiness of the relationship as well.

    0|0
    0|0
  • That should be the least of your worries. You've got the upper hand on most people. Focus on your personality and laser point on guys worth your time.

    1|2
    0|0
  • I feel you haha
    It can have the opposite effect.
    People assume you should be taken or you re not interested

    1|0
    0|1
  • I dont necessarly get called attractive a lot but people do seem to get shocked that I haven't had sex nor have had a boyfriend before. That is sometimes followed by telling me I got high standards, im too picky or I get accused of being naive about sex (basically the only reason im waiting is because im waiting for Prince perfect and amazing sex). I Just haven't met someone im compatible with and people can't seem to understand that

    0|0
    0|0
  • You do of course realise that there's an awful lot more needed than just being attractive.

    1|1
    0|0
  • i guess its how it is

    0|0
    0|0
  • Being attractive means you have an advantage... your looks put you ahead. Because who wouldn't want to date a beautiful girl.

    0|1
    0|0
  • they think it is the only thing one need

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because they do. It is what it is. More attractive people get better jobs, can attract the attention of men/women easier than the average looking person,

    0|0
    0|0
  • Im not having any luck with dating as well, I've been told Im beautiful, attractive, etc... My dating life is almost nonexistent.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I feel that it's easier to attract someone but it's easier to attract the wrong people

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because they're idiots

    0|0
    0|0
  • Girl!!! Exactly!!!

    0|0
    1|4
Loading...