Single moms. To date or not to date?

How many men aren't interested I single moms? I had no idea that so many men would never be with a single mom until my last question. So who's down to date/marry a single mom and who is not?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Before you get all pissed, let me explain why generally it's a bad idea to date a divorced single mom (from a standpoint of critically thinking men) and why it nearly guarantees that it'll be a bad long-term relations:

    1.) It means a man will always come 2nd. Child's opinion will always be more important to a woman, which can easily sabotage upbringing. If a man will go a bit rough on a child (a simple single spank, like any other dad would do given a proper reason), she's going to defend the child, thus sabotage man's authority in the eyes of a kid that will learn that as soon shit hits the fan, he can hide behind mom's back. This will severely piss man off and will lead to arguments between the couple; alternatively, if a man won't give a fuck about raising woman's kid, *SHE* will get pissed instead. In both cases kid won't respect a man.
    2.) A man in this case doesn't create a family -- he's just joining it, hence he won't ever feel truly "in his tribe". This may lead to a depression as he ages and later to alcohol or other addiction.
    3.) A kid won't ever acknowledge man as a dad, unless he's really, really small and won't remember anything. Over time a man will start to see a kid as a cash dumpster that doesn't give anything in return whatsoever (not even simple child's love).
    4.) If they'll together have a 2nd kid later on, a man will switch all his attention to a newborn, which will piss off first child and that will lead to huge fights.
    5.) Suddenly her ex-husband can show up and deliver shittons of legal problems and/or troll a man, which may have different (yet all negative) consequences.
    6.) Generally, there's a good reason why a woman is a single mom (unless she's a widow): she's either so bad at creating a family and keeping the harmony a man dumped her, or is outright dumb by being impregnated by some one-night-stand or casual hookup, or is poorly developed/educated if she cannot tell apart a reliable man to have a kid together with from just some dude who has no interest in being a dad, yet still gets pregnant.
    7.) A kid is a constant walking reminder of other men in woman's life for a husband.

    For the reasons above I wouldn't date a single mom, as those relations will end up nowhere.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • A lot of men dont want that baggage. For me personally... I won't date a man who has never had children. Now at my age... I want their kids to be grown and out of the house. When I was 48 I dated a man who was 50. He had grown kids. But I found out he had a 5 year old. He had fling with a much younger woman after his divorce. Well needless to say that didn't last long. I am finished raising kids.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 39

  • Do you work and are able to afford at least most of your child's expenses? You'll find that most men don't want to pay for another man's child. Most of us have our own hobbies and interests, having children means sacrificing a lot of your own free time to their needs and caretaking. Which also means that you probably won't have much time for him. Most younger people don't really want to settle down and have that responsibility yet.

    I'd give it a shot with a single mom if I liked her, but I don't really know how to interact with children, so it'd really just be best for her to find somebody better suited not just for herself, but for her child as well.

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  • sure i would date and marry too

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  • Well you know preferably I'd rather not it's not about the stigma's or stereotypes surrounding them though it's just not my thing.

    I mean if I was dating a girl that I really liked and I found out down the line that she had a kid I wouldn't break up with her or anything like that. But right up front it's not my ideal situation.

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    • I dated a girl for a month before I found out she was a single mother. I dumped her very brutally in a public place. If she'd have been honest upfront, this could have been avoided. But no, she
      had to be sneaky. Single mothers in my opinion aren't worth the powder it would take to blow them up. Damage and used goods. NO THANK YOU !

  • If only single moms had the youth/beauty of childless women and childless women had the maturity of single moms. Nothing beats the flakiness out of a young woman like the prospect of living in a studio apartment, trailer or grandma's house forever because that's all she can afford with two kids and an associates degree in sociology.

    Not to be an asshole but thats our dilemma.

    Women with kids show up on time, aren't flakes, state their needs and wants from the get go but are kind of busted physically.

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  • From what I have learned, a large part of men would not date a single mom. Investing time and effort in to a child that is not their own goes against instincts and what not.

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    • I honestly had no idea so many men felt that way. As a women I wouldn't be opposed to dating a man that had kids from a previous marriage. Obviously it would have some added challenges but yea... makes single moms like myself feel like we are destined to be single forever 😂

    • Bummer for you, I suppose.

  • Most likely not for various reasons from irresponsible behaviour to always being the second most important person in the womans life, issues with the real father, possible promiscuity.

    You get the idea.

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  • i would never get involved with a single mother... not again. I met my ex when her son was 6 months old and I was there for his first step, his first word, his christening etc. I raised him as my own and loved him as if he was my own.

    then out of the blue my ex finished it. and just like that i never saw him again. we were together for 3 years so you can only imagine the bond I had with him, and i still miss him to this day.

    I flat out refuse to get involved with anyone who has kids.

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  • I know a couple guys who married single moms. One of them gets along great with his stepsons - and with her ex, actually. They split on good terms, which helped. He seems pretty happy, as the kids were about 8 and 10 when he got married, and he didn't seem the type to be around babies.

    The other guy married a woman about 8 years older than him with 3 kids. Didn't keep in touch so don't know how that turned out.

    For me, unlikely. Maybe at 50 and single I would take a 30 y. o. mom.

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  • I've said this over so many times. No MAN with his balls on straight who can do better will date, let alone marry, a single mother. 😒

    Unless you're willing to lower your standards and settle for the high school dropout pothead who works as a janitor for McDonald's.

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  • A kid is a lot of responsibility, and also depending on the age. Since i've done volunteering at a childcare i've seen some of them to be serious gremlins lol.
    Probably not at my age, who knows how my perception will change as i become more independent though

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  • for the most part i won't. I don't want kids myself so single moms usually don't like my views. Once i got older though i wouldn't mind dating a woman that had kids that were like teenagers or full grown. Kids are important to most women, what can ya do ya know?

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  • I've done it. Its was alright. You have to realize her child comes first. Luckily i didn't have to desl with any drama, the father had passed away, so I'd say that helped. I'd do it again under the right circumstances.

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  • Nah, I don't want to pay for someone else's kid, or be with someone that doesn't have enough time for me because of a kid that isn't even mine. Why would I do that?

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    • Plus, I don't want to be with someone that will continue to have contact with an ex, whether they are a parent or not. I guess if the kid's other parent is not living, then it would be fine.
      Another concern is that if I am helping to raise the kid and I grow attached, I wouldn't want to think they care about someone else more than they do me (Their real genetic father). I would get jealous.
      I work with kids at an elementary school, and the ones I like the most, I get jealous if they like other teachers in addition to me.

    • Same feeling.

  • definitely date! most single mothers dont get the credit they deserve for how chalenging life is for them. i as a formerly single father before i got married again, realize just how hard it is and how much it takes a toll on morale, self esteem, a social life, and all the fun things one used to do befire life as a single parent. so my hats off to you single mothers. get out there, enjoy life, and you will see that you are a lot more desirable than you think and a lot of people find that really attractive.

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  • Wouldn't feel great about the ex still involved

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  • I have no problem with dating them and I have.
    It's not going to change who you are just because you have a child.

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  • I'll be honest to you, I would date/marry a single mom but thinking that she does this without attraction it makes me reconsider.
    Girls won't be into me so I consider that the kid is a problem to her >.<
    P. S In fact the problem is at me, tough life sorry for being like this I can hardly support myself

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  • I'm down to date one but to marry no; too much baggage , the children can & will cause problems between us and you'll have to book an appointment for sex.

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  • I would if I loved her and the kid/s weren't little shits

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  • Some Men aren't interested to date a lady with kids... Or Marry her. Have you heard of meal ticket?

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  • Depends if her kids are already adults or not.

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  • I won't care if I really like her

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  • No. .

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  • A lot of factors involved

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  • Count me out. I don't drive damaged and used cars.

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  • I wouldn't mind but it would be a challenge and I think the woman would have to lower her expectations for me.

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  • Wow really i had no idea it was actually that common. Anyway I would it doesn't bother me any

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  • Understanding and trust are important in a relationship:)

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  • I 100% agree with @Eugene on this. couldn't have said it better.
    so I will not date a single mom.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Why not? I'm straight though.
    It's not ideal for younger childless men, but Single Mom's have so much unfounded stigma surrounding them. Not all of them are " irresponsible skanks and used good". Many of these women had their child in committed relationships and marriage.

    If I'm like in my 30's and meet a great man who has a child from a previous marriage, I will not let that come in the way, although it's not ideal.

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  • Caring for children that aren't yours is something many people don't like.

    I don't mind it tbh, and I'll probably end up adopting kids in the future

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    • I honestly had no idea so many men felt that way. As a women I wouldn't be opposed to dating a man that had kids from a previous marriage. Obviously it would have some added challenges but yea... makes single moms like myself feel like we are destined to be single forever 😂

    • @krl1991 You will find someone, depends on your expectations from the other person.

  • There are some single dads out there too!

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  • I don't have idea

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