Ladies, how good can he be before he's out of your league?

Your opinions on this could be interesting...
A handful of girls have told me I'm too good for them or out of their league. some I liked, others I had just turned down, and others I said I just wanted to be friends. so different situations. I'm curious ladies, thoughts? if you met me or any guy like this irl, would you think he's out of your league or that he wouldn't be interested in you, and why?

A bit about me:
tall 6'5", thin strong and in shape (190lb). I model, act, I'm an entrepreneur of a growing company, I'm the most popular guy on campus (even awarded by the college for having the greatest positive impact on campus), served as president in an international honor society, 3.8gpa, going to law school soon. I like to go on adventures (put some on my YouTube channel), bake sweets at times 😁, and get along with and talk to almost everybody though I spend most time with a select few.

that's a pretty good snippet. recently there was a beautiful girl I liked. she was sitting on my lap and told me that when she first saw me (I was leading a volunteer fundraising team for the fight against cancer) she told her sister I was super cute and her sister (my employee) said I was way out of her league etc... so girls even tell other girls this (I'm sure for varied reasons).

another girl with a great personality (but physically not my type) told me that even though I'm way out of her league I'm the standard for the type of guy she wants to marry. parents have also told me I'm the standard for their daughters. (been introduced to a handful of parents by the way. they've all liked me)

so your thoughts if you met me or a guy like this: 1out of your league, 2wouldn't be interested in you, or 3too good to be true and that no good guys exist? please explain :)

ps,
I didn't become any of the above on my own. I have great parents happily married 23 years who raised me well. also mentors, great friends, etc :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow!!! You sound like a great catch. I would date you. Hmm I wouldn't say out of my league but then again how can you tell? It's all in what you think. I mean people give me compliments all the time on how great of a person I am. Intelligent beautiful soon to be engineer, loves Jesus... but I don't get offers to go on dates or anything. So I guess it depends on what you consider out of your league.

    Though some girls I know won't date a guy if he's too good to be true. They will always feel like their is something wrong with them. Or that they don't measure up and will thus settle for a guy that they are too good for because what are the chances he could find someone better. But you could have any girl you wanted... that would scare some away or sadden them. If your out of their league you could always find someone better and they know it so...

    A.) they don't get involved to begin with
    Or
    B.) they get involved but become very clingy, needy. Trying to please puppet kind of girl.

    I love baking too! Everyone is addicted to my desserts 🍨

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    • thanks :)

      my dad's a chemical engineer, which discipline are you going into?

      oh check this YouTube video. one of my fav songs growing up. you might like it :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMF97v9rA6k

      by the way you're one great guy away from breaking that no-offer thing. trust me ;)

      and yeah I've been told, a few times, 'too good to be true'. only by girls who didn't know me. I pity them though. if good is 'too good to be true'... you'll settle for mediocre or bad. that mindset can have serious repercussions.

      you're right about girls knowing you can get girls. the last girl I dated-dated was beautiful Hispanic same faith and going to be a lawyer. she told me she knew I could get any girl and asked why I chose her. I told her, -and that she's a great girl. though we broke up during summer. she wanted to get engaged after only a few weeks of dating. :p her fam liked me & such but I want to finish school before marriage. lol

      what do you bake? :)

What Girls Said 3

  • There's no such thing as "leagues", and assigning people a higher value or "level" is a silly social construct that comes from a psychological insecurity and a need to rationalize why an individual won't pursue someone. For example, instead of someone being emotionally-intelligent enough to recognize they aren't asking someone out due to insecurity, fear, or a past issue they haven't dealt with that lingers in their subconscious mind that they haven't bothered to identify, so they just settle for a socially-accepted excuse that doesn't create conflict but allows them to acknowledge liking someone, but they can avoid pursuing them, aka "They're out of my league, so I won't bother trying". No one is out of anyone's league; we all have different traits, physical or otherwise, we all perceive things differently, i. e. what is beauty? and we all find different things attractive. No one is out of my league or your league, etc. it depends entirely on whether you bother pursuing someone or if the attraction and interest is reciprocated.

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    • interesting opinion... you mentioned leagues with worth. those are totally different. I believe all humans are equally invaluable and worth more than every *thing* on earth. ( regardless of ethnicity looks wealth etc) that's their actual worth. self worth is how much worth they think they have.

      leagues deal with a comparison of two people. not on the basis of actual worth but on character, looks, and accomplishments. it can include self worth but does not have to. I know guys and girls who have dated people they know are out of their leagues.
      'leagues' have nothing to do with if you could date the person.
      again it deals with character, looks, and accomplishments. these are the necessary constants. when one person is substantially higher than another in a combination of these areas, he or she is in a different league than that person. (regardless if they date or have self esteem or are attracted to each other. none of that is a constant in determining 'leagues')

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    • listen, as simply put as possible (the point you can't refute). -so long as people can get better or get worse, they will reach or be on different levels or leagues than each other. you cannot prove that people do not get better and you cannot prove that people cannot get worse... but you can ignore it if that makes you feel any better and call yourself 'enlightened' as you hurl insults. that's your business.

    • Mmk buddy, you can choose to rationalize it however you want, I don't buy into constraining social constructs, mmkay.

  • Too long didn't read.

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  • A guys job and personality isn't what would make him out of my league. When i say that, Im strictly referring to looks. But 6'5 is too tall anyways. That has nothing to do with leagues, but more so... not my type

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    • hm, so if there were two guys you knew. one was the best looking man you've ever seen, but jobless with no goals and an average personality.
      the other guy was handsome, with aspirations, good job, and great personality... bc job/personality aren't a factor, you would consider the jobless man to be out of your league... that's very interesting. thanks for posting!

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    • this is what I said.
      by your word, the 10/10 guy could be jobless with a mediocre personality and a 7/10 guy could be mega successful with a great personality and you would hold the jobless, 10/10 as out of your league because you said job and personality don't play a part... that is very interesting.

    • Oh yes. Exactly haha

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